


Under Her Skin

by StarvingLunatic



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Curses, Domestic, Explicit Language, F/F, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Novel, Possible Character Death, Violence, Wordcount: 50.000-100.000, Wordcount: Over 50.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 13:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 84,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2271771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarvingLunatic/pseuds/StarvingLunatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set at the start of season 2. Instead of the wraith, Rumplestiltskin goes for something a little more personal, sinister, and slower when it comes to killing Regina. He curses Regina and Emma stays by her side as Regina wastes away. They have roughly a month to find a cure for a curse without one. If anyone can do the impossible, it should be them. Maybe. SwanQueen</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Death before dishonor

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own these characters. ABC/Disney owns them.
> 
> A/N: Hi, folks, I’m back! There are several warnings that go with this story. Starting with:
> 
> 1\. This story is unbeta’ed.
> 
> 2\. It also takes place at the start of the second season, the episode Broken, but kind of ignores everything after the curse is broken and Regina is taken to jail. So, some of the characters might seem OOC because they’re definitely not the same characters that just ended season 3.
> 
> 3: This will also eventually be SwanQueen and if you have a problem with that, you really shouldn’t read this. I think that covers it.
> 
> Now, onto the story!

Under Her Skin

1: Death before dishonor

Regina paced the cell, feeling like the trapped animal she was certain that she looked like. She was currently locked away in the Storybrooke jail, which smelled of stall donuts and burnt coffee. The scent of smoke wafted in from the window, just barely overpowering the Sheriff’s station’s usually stench.

Regina knew that just outside the walls the denizens of Storybrooke were crowing for her head, carrying torches no doubt as they recalled how justice was carried out in their former land. Angry shouting carried over, mashed together, and became a jumbled roar. Growling, she thought about how she could crush them with one simple sweep of her hand… if only her magic would work properly. They would rue day they tried to harm her as soon as she figured out how to do magic in this damned place.

“Aren’t these wonderful accommodations?” Mister Gold… or rather Rumplestiltskin if that glint in his eye meant anything commented as he appeared out of nowhere in a puff of smoke. Even though the Curse was broken, he still looked like his Storybrooke counterpart, but with his memories fully restored and an apparent working knowledge of magic here, there was that impish madness from the old world that clung to him like a feeding parasite.

“You’d know all about great prison cells, wouldn’t you?” she countered with a sneer. She had to consciously control her breathing because she knew that the imp was there for no good, especially if he had control of his magic. She was a sitting duck.

“You know just as much as I do about these things, your Majesty,” he commented and then gave her his best shark grin.

She had seen what happened to those on the receiving end of that expression. Hell, she had been on the business end of more times than most. Her heart rate accelerated and she imagined this was her end. Rumplestiltskin was going to slay her in this filthy jail with an army of peasants outside. The gods only knew what they would do with her body. _I pray Henry doesn’t see_. But, she would not put it passed the people to display her fallen corpse without any regard for her son, not that he seemed to be want to claim her anymore. He had his curse-breaking, Savior biological mother now.

“Oh, thinking about what I’m going to do to you or what the screaming masses will do to you?” he inquired. A terrifyingly twinkle shined in his abysmal eyes.

“You and they are of no importance. I fear nothing,” she stated, holding her chin high and waving it all off with one hand. She stared him down. He had not and would not break her.

He gave her that damned ridiculous laugh, but it was darker than usual. Her blood turned to curds as he moved closer. She could see in his movements that this was her end. Well, she would not go gentle into that good night.

“Oh, we both know that’s not true. You fear me. I can smell it on you, your Majesty. You’re wise to fear me, your Majesty, after what you did,” he growled. The sound rattled her bones, but she kept her brave front. At least she would meet her end as regal as she had lived. Her mother would be proud.

“After what I did? And what did I do to the great and powerful Dark One?” she dared to taunt him with a smirk. Somehow, she knew he found Belle. She was not sure how, but he must have her and this was what the little visit was all about.

He stepped closer and held her gaze, cane tapping ominously on the cold concrete. The sound rippled through her, but she made sure to keep looking at him. He smiled and chuckled a little more.

He tapped his cane once before leaning on it. “You know, you always thought you were smarter than you actually are. That’s part of your problem.”

“Only part?” She batted her eyes at him. She was certain that it would have had more affect if only she had her Queen makeup. Even then, she doubted she could out-crazy him, but at least she had a chance back when she was the Evil Queen. Mayor Mills would probably crumple into dust against him within seconds.

His eyes danced and he leaned forward for a moment. “Oh, there are more, like the fact that you have loved ones now, your Majesty. A huge part of your problem is this foolish emotion that you keep giving into. After all, love is weakness,” he stated with a knowing grin.

She felt like she had been shot in the stomach when he said those words. Part of her had always rejected her mother’s philosophy, but she had tried to live by that. From what she could tell, her mother was correct. After all, it was love that allowed her to use Sydney more than once. It had also given her an ace against this damned imp. Of course, it was that ace that was about to get her splattered all over her jail all by said imp.

“Is it now? Isn’t it why you’re here?” she inquired with a smirk.

He glared and she saw a flash in his dark eyes. “There you go again, trying to be smarter than you truly are.”

“Rumple…” she began, but had no idea what to say after that. It was not like she would plead for her life.

“There’s nothing to say, Regina. You locked Belle away!” he roared, pointing a bony finger at her. Once upon a time, that finger would have had a claw, but it was just as threatening and dangerous.

“My mentor would’ve been proud of me,” she pointed out with a smirk. Love was weakness, but maybe it was weakness that no one could avoid… save her mother, anyway. But, that was neither here nor there considering she was about to go to the same place she sent her mother so many years ago.

“Keep smiling, Regina. Keep smiling.”

Taking a subtle breath, Regina fortified herself. “I think I will, Rumple. Now, what do you want?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “To watch you suffer, like how Belle suffered.”

“And how are you going to do that, imp?” she demanded with a forceful growl. Mentally, she patted herself on the back for seeming so normal.

Reaching into his pocket, he produced a small vial of clear liquid. It could have easily been water, but the glint in his cold eyes spoke of something much more sinister. Well, unless he planned to throw it in her face, she did not understand what he thought he was going to do with it.

“I think you might need more acid than that,” Regina remarked. What he was holding was about the size of a tube of lipstick.

He chuckled darkly. “Oh, this isn’t acid, dearie. This is infinitely worse and you’re going to drink it.”

She scoffed. “And why would I do that?” she asked with an arched eyebrow.

He leaned forward again. “I already told you – love is weakness. It’s your greatest weakness. After all, we wouldn’t even be here were it not for your first love and then were it not for your dear father’s humble sacrifice.”

“Don’t you dare mention my father!” she snarled, wanting to reach out and snatch him through the bars. “You’re not fit to kiss his boots!” How dare this bastard bring up her father, especially when her victory had just crashed around her. Her father seemed to have died for nothing now. She had taken the life of the one person who loved her and gotten nothing for her trouble, except transport to a world without magic and a son who now hated her.

In true Rumplestiltskin fashion, he giggled maniacally and held up one hand. “So noble the daughter to defend the murdered father. If only you had done that when it mattered, dearie. Your dear daddy might still be alive. But, you get a do over. You can save a different Henry today.”

“You stay the hell away from my son!” she screamed, charging the bars to tear him out of his formerly scaly green skin. He was just out of her reach.

He merely laughed again, much darker and deeper than before. This was not the mad imp that she was accustomed to dealing with. This was a cold, calculating psychopath before her. He had her just because he could get to Henry. Taking a breath, she regained her composure and took one step back.

“So, I drink this and you leave Henry alone?” she proposed.

“That is the deal I am willing to make. You drink this and I will never touch young Henry.” He held the vial right in front of her face.

“You will never intentionally directly or indirectly harm him,” she amended. She had dealt with Gold for too long to know that if worded a certain way, the damned imp would find a loophole when it suited him.

His face tensed and a tick shot through his jaw, as if he intended to frown. He controlled himself, so he obviously wanted her to take the vial more than anything. Despite her death staring her in the face, she knew that she had the upper hand.

“You will never intentionally directly or in directly harm Henry, you will help him without any strings attached should he come to you, and you will see that that all of my worldly goods are inherited by him in the event of my demise,” she bargained. She hoped that Henry never had to go to him, but she was not sure if she would ever get the chance to warn her son to never deal with Rumplestiltskin if it could be avoided.

For a moment, his lips pulled back and he bared his teeth in a tight sneer, but then it was gone with a dramatic wave of his hand. “Very well, dearie. I hold no grudges against the young Henry. He wasn’t the foolish one that kept Belle prisoner.”

She managed to shrug. “It worked for a while,” she said coolly.

“And now its leading to leading to your death,” he commented. “Drink.” He handed her the vial.

Studying the liquid, she had a good feeling what it was. The look in his eyes gave her an even better feeling as to what it was. Opening the small container, she downed the liquid in one gulp. He began giggling immediately and she started to cough. Covering her mouth from the polite ladylike behavior ingrained in her mind like so much brainwashing, blood gushed out through her fingers and he laughed more.

“It’ll be a pleasure to watch you waste away for a month, dying in pure agony,” he declared.

Somehow, she managed to keep her head held high and her eyes sharp, even though it felt like a million needles were shredding her insides. Blood oozed out of her nose, dripping over her fingers and cascaded to the floor. As the drops hit the floor, they sounded like thunder to her, as did the sound of her own heart. Still, she maintained her dignity. Giving into his murderous satisfaction was not part of the deal, after all.

“Don’t pretend to be so haughty, Regina. We both know that within the week, you won’t even be able to hold your chin that high. You won’t be able to walk. Every single piece of you will feel like the very definition of Hell on Earth. You’ll die alone, hated, and in a pile of your own vomit without any elegance at all,” he giggled.

Those words hurt almost as much as the pain tearing at her organs. Gritting her teeth, she tried to push down the intense torture ripping at her, both physically and emotionally. She was going to die alone. Her son hated her and he had been her last chance at someone truly loving her. She would die alone. This was actually more frightening than the illness that she how knew she would die from.

“Enjoy the wasting disease, Regina. You deserve it,” he proclaimed.

“I’ll see you in Hell, Rumple,” she declared, as proudly as one could with a mouthful of thick blood.

“Not for many, many years, your Majesty. Enjoy your fate-worse-than-death,” he laughed once more and then vanished into thin air.

Regina growled and then screamed in frustration, blood pouring from her mouth and staining her teeth. She wished that there was something for her to throw. She would not have had time to do that, though. The world became fuzzy, her vision narrowed, and then everything went black.

-8-8-8-8-

“Hey, Regina, I got some food for you,” Emma called, holding up a bag from Granny’s, as she entered the Sheriff’s station. Things were oddly, almost eerily quiet beyond the fading din of the unruly mob outside.

Emma waited for the mayor to say something biting, but that never came. _Weird_. She gasped when she saw why she was being spared Regina’s usual vitriol.

“Regina!” Emma rushed the cell, where Regina was unconscious on the floor.

When she got to the bars, Emma noticed blood covering Regina’s pale face. For a moment, all thought fell from her head and she actually grabbed the bars, as if she planned to pull them down. After giving one yank and getting nowhere, she recalled that she was the sheriff and had the damned keys. It took her too many seconds to find the correct key and open the door. She kneeled by Regina’s prone form, her nerves jumping as she tried to figure out what to do. _Okay, before I do anything, I need to figure out what happened, so just look at her_. Upon closer inspection, Regina’s head seemed to be in a pool of blood.

“Shit. What the fuck happened? Did someone get in?” Emma wondered aloud in a panic. It looked like someone might have hit Regina in the head with something. She did not want to move or touch Regina, knowing that she could do more harm than good. “Shit, what to do? What to do?”

 _Dial 911_ , her mind offered. _Really, brain? That’s the best you can do? The fuck will I do after that? Answer the call myself and ask me what the hell to do?_ Despite those thoughts, she got on her phone and called for the paramedics. She could only hope that they were not members of the mob. With the call out of the way, green eyes went back to the fallen mayor.

“What the fuck?” Emma muttered, running her hand through her curly blonde locks and rubbed the top of her head.

She rushed off to check all of the doors and windows to see how the hell someone managed to get in and harm Regina. She did not find anything open and could not figure out how someone got in. That thought flew from her mind when she heard someone pounding on the door.

The paramedics had arrived, two women who looked a little younger than Emma. One was a brunette with her hair done in a tight bun and the other was a redhead. Emma let them in and pointed them in the direction of the cell. They did not even ask any questions, just went for Regina. Emma wondered if they were right in the head since they were helping the woman that cursed them or if they took their jobs that seriously.

“We need to get her to the hospital immediately,” the brunette paramedic declared.

“Uh… I don’t think Whale is going to help her,” Emma pointed out.

“He’s not the only doctor in town,” the other paramedic scoffed as they carefully got the mayor on a gurney. “Clear a path!”

Emma ran off to do what she was ordered while wondering who the hell the other doctor in town was. It made sense that there was more than one, but Whale always seemed to be in the center of things at the hospital. Emma shook that away and moved with the paramedics. Thankfully, they had pulled the ambulance up to the front door. Emma was able to keep the mob at bay for the few seconds the pair needed to load Regina into the back. They sped off like a bat out of Hell.

Pulling up to the hospital emergency room, Regina was rushed inside. A lot of people moved out of the way, but a few lingered. An elegant, graceful woman with graying black hair seemed to glide through the crowd like a sharpened razor. The white lab coat proclaimed her a doctor, but the hard, frozen stare of her eyes declared her a villain in the old world.

“The Queen?” the doctor muttered, surprised, but doing her best to be stoic.

“She’s burning up! There’s a small gash at the back of her head,” the redhead paramedic reported.

“Stand back,” the doctor commanded.

Emma remained close, eyes locked on the doctor to make sure there was no funny business. While Regina was not her favorite person on Earth, she did not think that anyone had the right to just kill her and there were a lot of people in town that wanted to do just that. The doctor seemed competent and serious about her work. Regina groaned and her eyes flittered open.

“Your Majesty, be still. You’ve suffered some head trauma,” the doctor cautioned her. Of course, Regina being Regina merely pushed the doctor’s hand away.

Regina blinked, probably trying to get the world to come back into focus. “Doctor Augustine?” her voice was groggy and rough.

“Well, I think I shall go by Doctor Tremaine if you don’t mind. Now, your Majesty, you need to stay still. You may have a concussion.”

A dark laugh clawed its way out of Regina’s throat. “A concussion is the least of my worries, dear. Perhaps you might supply me with some painkillers and then prepare yourself for the New World Order. Our happy endings have expired.”

The doctor scowled; the expression was so much more severe than anything Emma had witnessed from Regina. “They shall have my ending when they pry it from my cold, dead hands and I am certain I am not the other only. What is going on?”

Regina shook her head. “The Dark Curse has been broken and now I must bear my own.”

Emma frowned now. Regina sounded resigned about something beyond a bump on the head. She remembered the blood covering Regina’s mouth and wondered if the mayor knew something about that.

“Regina, what the hell is going on?” Emma demanded, moving to the forefront to be seen.

Regina took a deep breath before turning her attention to the Sheriff. Clearly, she was trying to harden her gaze, but it was not working. Instead, she appeared to be in pain. A grimace tugging at her lip and tensing her face, which made her eye twitch slightly.

“Sheriff Swan, what are you doing here?” Regina managed to sound commanding.

“What am I doing here? I was the lucky one to find you lying face up in a pool of blood! What the hell happened? Did someone break in or something? I locked everything! Hell, I barricaded some places and those tables weren’t easy to move!” Emma was so goddamn sure that she made the place safe only to be proven wrong.

“Calm down, Sheriff. Your so-called protection didn’t take into account that magic has come to Storybrooke. So, you may be on your way, Sheriff,” Regina dismissed her with a flick of her wrist.

Emma scoffed. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” After all, she was the one that went to Regina’s aid when the angry mob was on her front lawn. She was the one that put Regina in jail for her own safety. “What the hell is going on?”

“I’m assuming this is something magic related. So, are painkillers all I can do?” Doctor Tremaine inquired, interrupting Emma, as if what she asked was not even important.

“It’s either that or I’ll be passing out once more,” Regina replied, eyes losing focus briefly.

“Passing out? Is that what happened? You passed out?” Emma pressed the smaller woman.

“Painkillers, doctor,” Regina ordered. She was obviously purposely ignoring Emma.

Doctor Tremaine craned an eyebrow, perhaps disliking being ordered around, even if the Queen did it. She wrote a prescription while Regina got up from the bed with all the grace one would expect a Queen to have and wobbled out of the emergency room with all the balance one would expect of a concussed person. Emma ended up taking the prescription paper and then chasing after Regina, who apparently forgot about the angry mob complete with torches and pitchforks being out for her head.

Emma caught up with Regina, leaning against a lamppost. She was also throwing up. Emma stood back and considered her options. When the thought of holding Regina’s hair floated through her mind, she figured the best option was actually “run like Hell in the opposite direction and never look back. Hell, you might even find your mind if you did that.” Unfortunately, Regina looked like she really needed help, even if she was too proud to ask for it.

“I better get into Heaven after this,” Emma muttered as she approached Regina like a wounded animal. Of course, she was much more likely to be mauled and eaten by Regina. “Need a hand?” she offered in a quiet tone, not wanting to spook the ill woman.

“No,” Regina groaned and then winced. Openly. She looked somewhat green under the streetlight.

“Maybe we should go back to the hospital. Doctor Tremaine seemed cool,” Emma pointed out, jabbing her thumb back in the direction of the hospital.

Hissing, Regina took a deep breath. When she exhaled, it showed in the cold night air. “Doctor Tremaine can’t help me. This isn’t medical.”

“Uh… looks pretty medical from here.”

“It’s not,” Regina growled, agony contorting her face.

“Maybe we should go get those painkillers. You look like you really need them.”

Regina did not argue, which only attested to the amount of pain she had to be in. Regina pushed off of the lamppost and nearly fell over. Emma went to her side and kept her on her feet. Regina did not even push away.

“Let’s go get those painkillers,” Emma said, wishing that she brought her car instead of riding in the ambulance.

Regina nodded. They walked slowly in silence with Emma doing most of the work. She was glad that most of the town seemed to be inside or probably still making their way to the hospital, chasing Regina’s ambulance. By the time, they got to the pharmacy, Regina was sweating despite the fact that it was cold and she was not wearing a coat. Blood flowed also from her nose like a facet.

“Shit, Regina, what the fuck is going on?” Emma demanded.

“Sheriff Swan,” Regina said through gritted teeth. “I’m going to…” She did not finish, losing consciousness once more. Emma suspected that was what she was trying to warn her about.

Emma tapped into a strength that she was unaware she had and picked Regina up into her arms. It was hard to believe that she had been slamming this woman around a hospital supply closet not too long ago. She felt light, lighter than anyone so larger than life, so imposing should be. They were close to the mansion, so she dragged Regina home. She could only hope that no one thought to look for Regina in such an obvious place.

Emma ran to the pharmacy and found out it was surprisingly still open, even though it was past ten. It was also run by one of the seven dwarves, which meant her mother Snow White was probably going to find out that she was in there filling a prescription for painkillers. Her mother was Snow White. _I might pass out next, but I better get these painkillers to Regina before she hurts anymore_.

So, she trotted back to Regina’s house and found the mayor sitting up in on the sofa, staring at the wall. Emma was almost scared to enter, finding Regina in the dark. Regina was dabbing her nose with a napkin.

“Bleeding again?” Emma asked the obvious. _What the hell is going on? Why is she so sick? She wasn’t this sick when I helped her before. Why the hell do I keep helping her anyway? I’m not usually this decent, am I?_

Regina was silent for what seemed like an eternity, as if she knew Emma was driving herself crazy with her thoughts. “I suppose I’ll have to get used to it for the time I have left.”

A blonde eyebrow arched. “The time you have left?”

Regina sighed. “Miss Swan, I suppose you would be the best person to share this with since you’ll more than likely be in charge of Henry when I’m gone and your mother has managed to change the rules and such.”

“When you’re gone? Regina, I’m not going to let that mob kill you,” Emma declared.

“I’m not talking about the mob, Sheriff. I’m talking about this.” She held up the tissue, showing her blood. “I’m going to be dead by the end of the month, if not sooner.” The month only had a week and a few days left in it. “There’s no way out of it or around it. I’ll be dead. You have to take care of Henry.”

Emma opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Regina was dying? Dying right in front of her? What could she say to that?

“Here’s your meds,” Emma said. _God, Swan, you are an idiot!_

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Emma tries to get help for Regina. Help Regina does not want.


	2. A plague

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

2: A plague

Emma’s mind was whirling. She could hardly understand what Regina said before the mayor passed out for the third time that night. Regina was dying. She had what she described as a magical type of cancer and a name that Emma did not catch. She had a couple of weeks, if she was lucky. So, by next month, Henry would be … motherless.

For some reason, that was how Emma thought of it. Yes, Henry was her kid, but she actually did not think of herself as his mother. Yes, she loved him, but there was still … something. Something that she could not explain, but it was something and it plagued her mind to the point of distraction.

“What the fuck?” she mumbled as she realized she was in front of her apartment door. She had no clue how she even got there. Did she walk? Did she drive? When the hell did she even leave Regina?

Deciding not to keep asking questions that she did not have the answers to, she let herself in the apartment. She did not have to be paying attention to know that all eyes were on her. The eyes of her parents and her kid, neither of those she wanted to see right now. She had enough to deal with considering “magical cancer” was now a thing apparently.

“Emma, are you all right?” Mary Margaret – Snow White – whoever the hell she was – asked.

“I’m fine,” Emma lied through her teeth. It was not like she could say anything else. She had already had a “blow out” with her parents where they seemed pretty set on their justifications for shoving her in a magic closet and leaving her to fend for herself at exactly five minutes old. It was a miracle that she had not died of exposure, but they did not seem to think of that. _You know what, fuck magic_. _Fuck magic and fuck fairy tales_.

“What happened at the station? There was an ambulance,” David – his actual name apparently – pointed out, moving a little closer. “Did Regina manage to hurt someone?” He seemed to know that it was wise to stay about five feet away from Emma.

“No, I think someone managed to hurt Regina,” Emma replied, rubbing her head. Regina had not said who and Emma was new to this fairy tale crap, but she suspected a lot of people would like to give Regina magical cancer. _Ah! Why the fuck is that a thing? And who the fuck could give it to someone?_

“Someone hurt Regina?” David echoed with a wrinkled forehead. If life was a comic book (and who knows, it might be next week), he would have had a thought bubble that read, “does not compute.”

“Then is she at the hospital handcuffed to the bed with someone watching her?” Snow White inquired with worried eyes as she moved to stand behind her lover – uh, husband – whatever the hell David was to her now.

“Uh … no, she is not,” Emma replied, calmly trying to inch her way toward her room. She did not want to talk about it, but especially not with them. They were strangers to her, strangers who had abandoned her to a hard life. She definitely did not want to talk to them about this.

“Why not, Emma? She’s the Evil Queen!” chimed in apparently the only sane man in Storybrooke, which was sad since he was only ten and sounded the most insane out of everybody.

Emma winced at Henry’s declaration. Not too long ago, he was begging her to save his Mom and now his mom was the Evil Queen. How was he going to react when she told him Regina had magical cancer? Would she be “Mom” or would she be “the Evil Queen”? A knot formed in her stomach as she considered he might go with “Evil Queen” and if he could stand against the woman that raised him, what would it take for him to one day do the same with her? After all, she would not be able to this huge “Savior” forever.

“Look, Regina’s not going anywhere and as long as no one goes to her house, then everything will be fine,” Emma said with a shrug.

“You left her in her house by herself?” Snow shouted, marching up on the blonde and staring her down. _Okay, this is not Mary Margaret and I don’t think I’m cool with that_. _But, it probably wouldn’t be cool to punch my own mother… even though, I think she might deserve it. After all, she put me in a fucking magical closet_. She was taken from this line of thought as the “conversation” continued.

“She could be plotting to kill us all!” David declared, throwing his hand up. He did not move, though.

“She can’t plot that from a jail cell? Besides, she’s not under arrest. She hasn’t broken any laws,” Emma said. She had been keeping Regina in jail for her own protection.

“She should be under arrest! She cursed us all,” Snow proclaimed.

“Yeah, believe it or not, totally not against the law,” Emma reminded them and struggled not to roll her eyes as she doubted that would help. _How is it possible I went my entire life without having this argument?_

“But, she could hurt somebody, Emma. You have to put her back in jail,” David insisted. Now, moving closer and standing behind Snow White. His gaze was more imploring than demanding, but Emma was not moved.

“I can’t just put her in jail. That’s not how this works. She hasn’t broken the law. Besides, I’m pretty sure Regina is harmless right now.” She had to be since after walking less than fifty feet Regina got winded and she could not stay conscious for more than an hour.

“How can you be sure, Emma? She’s the Evil Queen!” Henry declared once more. He marched over as well, clearly needing to be apart of this close encounter of the annoying kind.

“She’s sick, okay? Regina is sick and she’s not going to hurt anybody because she can barely move,” Emma informed them against her better judgment. _Regina will probably kill me if she knows I told them_. Not to mention, she felt almost like a snitch for telling them. _Why do I feel like that? Regina and I aren’t in this together_.

“Sick? Did she tell you that? Did you actually fall for that?” Henry asked incredulously, stomping his foot.

“I didn’t fall for anything!” Emma could not believe a ten-year-old was questioning her judgment. In fact, she could not believe any of these people were questioning her. They were not there. They do not know what happened.

“He’s right, Emma. Regina’s sneaky and you can’t trust her. What did she say to make you think she’s sick and you should let her go home?” David inquired, studying her as if trying to figure out if she was a chump.

“Yes, because I’m an idiot, I just took Regina’s word for it that she was sick and let her go home. In fact, I believe she said she was suffering from cramps.” Emma couldn’t hold back and rolled her eyes. _Who the fuck is this guy to be questioning me? Oh, yeah, he’s Prince fucking Charming and my goddamn dad. Fuck_. Maybe she was being sensitive because she had to deal with a dying Regina and the fact that Henry was about to lose his mother.

“No need to get testy, Emma. Your father didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that Regina is tricky and manipulative. You don’t know her like we do,” Snow chimed in.

“I think I know her pretty well.” Emma had only spent the better part of a year having a weird tug of war with the mayor.

“You might think so, but you’ll see that she can surprise you. What makes you think she’s sick?” Snow asked in a gentler tone.

Emma sighed and just went through her whole ordeal step by step, still feeling like a snitch. She just wanted to get them off of her back and to have them stop looking at her as if she had been duped and was a moron. She noted that her audience did not seem any more convinced at the end of the tale than they had been the moment that she stepped in. Their skeptical faces pissed her off, reminding her of slightly kinder foster families that refused to believe she had not eaten all of the cookies.

“She could be faking,” Henry persisted, earning a frown from Emma. There was something about having a little boy treat her like she was a fool was too much.

“She’s not faking. A doctor checked her out for crying out loud,” Emma pointed out, snorting through her nose.

“What was the doctor’s name again?” Snow inquired with an arched eyebrow.

Emma shrugged and sucked her teeth. “Jermaine? Tremaine? Something like that.”

“Cinderella’s step mother. One of Regina’s allies. She lied to help Regina escape,” David stated as if it were a stone cold fact and not a theory that he pulled out of his ass. Worse yet, Snow did not call him on his bullshit.

Snow agreed, “They’re probably in a plot together with their other allies.”

“Okay, first, Regina wasn’t under arrest to escape. Second, she didn’t escape. She’s at home,” Emma explained. She was fairly certain they – uh, her parents – did not understand how being arrested work.

“No, you think she’s home,” David stated.

“No, she is. If you want to take a ride over there, we can check,” Emma replied with a certainty.

Regina was not going to be off her couch considering the fever she had when Emma left. She had planned to catch a shower and a nap and then go back to Regina to check on her, needing to get that raging fever under control. _I guess I’ll catch that nap and shower later. Maybe I’ll take some clothes over there, so I can take a shower there_.

“Let’s go,” Henry declared, making an excited fist.

“Yeah, no,” Emma stated and his face fell. “You’re staying here for now.” She knew Regina would not want Henry to see her near death and until she was sure that he and Regina could take it, she was not going to let him see his mother dying.

“What? But, why?” the boy begged.

“Your mother’s right, Henry,” Snow chimed in.

Emma winced at being called “his mother.” Intellectually, she knew that she was his mother. She had given birth to him and all, but there was something emotionally that did not want to give way. Yes, she loved the kid, but there was still something … or something missing. She was not sure what it was. _Maybe there’s something wrong with me?_ Maybe she was broken.

They arranged for Ruby to watch Henry and then they were off to the Mayoral Mansion. Emma had made sure to lock everything up when she left earlier, just in case. She also drew all of the curtains, so no one could see inside, in case Regina managed to move. She did not want Regina drawing any attention from anyone. Regina would not be able to defend herself against a mouse if one managed to get inside.

“We’ll go in through the back,” Emma said, waving her… parents… onward. She wondered if she would ever think of them as her parents without the hesitation.

“Why? If Regina is so harmless, why don’t we just go right in?” David inquired in an almost inflated tone, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the front door. Emma waited for him to puff out his chest while he was at it.

“I don’t want people thinking they can walk right into Regina’s house because they’ve seen us doing it, especially while Regina’s sick and staying in there,” Emma answered, marching to the back. The last thing she wanted was for someone to come and kill Regina while she was fighting off an illness. “Besides, the back door is easier to break into.”

“Break into?” Snow yelped and she frowned. “Emma,” she began in scolding tone.

“Kidding. I have Henry’s keys.” Emma held up the aforementioned item. Of course, she could have picked the lock, but her… parents did not seem to approve. Honestly, that made some part of her want to do it even more, but the keys were just faster.

Entering, the house was silent, save some coughing. Emma moved quickly, going to the living room. Regina was on the couch, curled up on her side, her body shaking from her coughing fit. The sheriff wasted no time going to her side and seeing a pool of blood and vomit on the floor by the sofa.

“Shit, Regina,” Emma swore for lack of a better thing. Reaching out and touching the mayor, she hissed. “Goddamn it, you’re burning up.”

“C-c-cold,” Regina’s teeth chattered. Her eyes were open half-mast, but it did not seem like they focused on anything.

“I’m taking you back to the hospital!” Emma leaned down and collected Regina in her arms. She felt lighter than she had a couple of hours ago. _How the hell is that possible?_

“No use,” Regina mumbled. Her hair was stuck to her forehead as sweat rolled off of her. Her clothing was also stuck to her body and soaked. Blood leaked from her nose, mixing with the dark crimson ring around her mouth.

“Oh, my god!” Snow gasped as she saw Regina.

“We have to do something. If I don’t take you back to the hospital, where do you want to go?” Emma demanded, speaking to the mayor.

“Pu-put me down,” Regina slurred, her head lulling to the side. “I fine.”

“Not when you’re talking like something out of a bad movie and not insulting me. What do you want me to do? I promised Henry I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” Emma pointed out. Granted that was when a tangible angry mob was after her and she was not dying of – mental groan – magical cancer.

“Can’t do anything,” Regina replied and her eyes rolled up in the back of her head.

Emma gave what she felt was a suitable response. “Bullshit!”

“She could be using her magic to make herself appear sick,” David stated.

“We can get the Blue Fairy to tell us,” Snow suggested.

Before Emma could object, Snow and David were off, leaving out the front door. Emma groaned, but decided to let that go. She needed to cool Regina down and wash her face. She rightly assumed that she could carry Regina to her bedroom now. It was barely a workout carrying Regina upstairs.

“Regina, do you think you can undress? I’m going to run you an ice bath,” Emma said.

“Why, Miss Swan, are you trying to see me naked?” Regina teased, but considering how low her voice was and she had a glassy look in her eyes, it was more disturbing than anything else. Part of her thought Regina had no idea what she was saying.

“You’d be a lot more sexy if you breath didn’t smell like vomit,” Emma muttered as she ran the bath and hoped like hell Regina did not hear her. The last thing she needed was Regina trying to threaten her while she was at death’s door. _But, this would be a much cooler day if I was just gonna see her naked and she didn’t smell like throw up_.

By the time she got the bath going, Regina was leaning against the doorjamb with a robe on. The mayor was shivering, clearly feeling the affects of fever. She had more than likely wiped her face with her hand because blood was smeared all over her cheek. Her face was pale and sweat rolled down from her forehead.

“The bath’s almost ready. How you feeling?” Emma asked, even though she could guess. _I’m doing good with this question thing. Each one just proves I’m as much of an idiot as Regina assumes_.

Regina did not comeback with one of her snide remarks. Instead, she swayed for a moment and blinked for a very long time. Emma was not sure if she needed to get her thoughts together, if she was fighting back nausea, or if she was trying to figure out something demeaning to say. When Regina opened her eyes again, Emma could see all of her pain and misery.

“I’m fine, Miss Swan. The painkillers,” she paused, as if biting back words. “The painkillers are working.”

Emma was not sure if that was a lie or not because she could clearly see Regina was in pain. Maybe it had been worse before the painkillers kicked in. “But, it’s not doing a damn thing for your fever.”

Regina’s brain had to be cooking because she did not say a word. She merely stumbled to the bath, put a finger in to test the water, and pulled her hand away as if she had been burned. Turning, she glared at Emma … or made the attempt. Surely it would have been that patented Mills’ look if only Regina could focus and get her eyes to stop lolling about in her head.

“I’m freezing and you run me an ice bath!” Regina roared.

“That’s the fever. Strip, Regina, and get in the damn tub. Don’t fight me because you’re definitely not strong enough.”

In true mayoral fashion, Regina tried to fight only to end up in the cold water with her expensive silk robe on. Regina squealed and sputtered, but could not struggle for long. Emma was much too strong for her and held her in place. They sat there in silence with Regina pretending she was not wearing her robe and Emma pretending Regina was not in the tub.

“I’m feeling better, sheriff,” Regina said in a voice much closer to her own than Emma had heard all day.

“Okay.”

“So, you can step out while I get dressed,” she stated in a clipped tone.

“Oh. Uh … I’ll be right outside.” She figured it was better to stick close in Regina decided to pass out once more.

She waited in the hallway and Regina stepped out dressed as regally as always. She marched past the blonde as if Emma were not even there. Emma followed because there was a slight tilt to Regina’s step, even if she wanted to pretend there was not. They made it downstairs before Regina stopped dead in her tracks.

“Why are the Blue Fairy, Snow White, and that idiot shepherd in my living room?” Regina demanded with fire in her tone. It was almost enough to make Emma think Regina was all right.

“They think you’re faking,” Emma explained.

“Yes, because all my life I have wanted nothing more than to feign a fatal illness to have my most hated enemies in my living room,” Regina snapped. She was sounding better by the second. Maybe she was trying to pretend that she was fine. “Now, I can be rid if you in one fell swoop.” She waved her hand in a grand gesture that actually made Snow, David, and Mother Superior flinch. Emma mentally snickered.

“She doesn’t seem so sick now. I told you it was a trick,” David stated, eyes locked on Regina as she stepped down a couple more steps.

“Yes, a trick. So, now you can all be on your way,” Regina commended, motioning to the door with an elegant hand. It would have been great if only she did not begin coughing right after. Reaching out, she clutched the banister to avoid falling. When the fit passed, she turned to them, obviously not realizing she had a spot of blood on her lip.

Mother Superior’s – also known as the Blue Fairy, Emma had to remind herself – gaze narrowed and she moved a little closer to Regina. “The wasting curse,” she summarized as if it were nothing, like those words left her lips constantly.

Regina growled. “It’s none of your business, so take your leave. All of you.” She then stormed back upstairs, pushing right by Emma.

“Let’s go,” Emma said because she did not want to stress Regina out, especially since she was probably upstairs coughing up more large, dark pools of blood.

The others did not put up an argument. Unfortunately, they went out the front door and then just stood on the porch. Emma hoped that people assumed that they were going through Regina’s stuff and not that the Evil Queen was home. _Why the hell don’t they get that I’m trying to actually keep Regina alive?_

“So, you were saying something about the wasting curse,” Snow prompted the Blue Fairy.

“The wasting curse?” Emma echoed against her better judgment. She was so sure that she did not want to find out, but she was standing here and they were talking about it, so she might as well be informed. Besides, she might be able to help Regina once she knew more about the disease.

“She’s not faking?” David inquired, folding his arms across of his chest as he turned his complete attention to the Blue Fairy.

“Emma, what other symptoms has she had beyond coughing up blood and the fever that your parents already told me about?” the Blue Fairy asked.

Emma shrugged. She did not feel comfortable speaking on Regina’s sickness to a woman that she really did not know. Hell, the only reason she did it with her parents were because they kept badgering her about it and making it seem like she was a moron for believing it.

Snow stepped close to her and put her hand on Emma’s shoulder. Dueling emotions raced through the sheriff at the time. Half of her wanted to grab that hand with her own and never let go, but the other half wanted to rip her shoulder away and say “fuck off.” Miraculously, she fought both impulses.

“It’s all right, Emma. You can tell her. She’s an ally,” Snow said softly, her eyes pleading with Emma to cooperate. Suddenly, Emma felt like she seven years old again and a foster mother that she wanted to keep her was asking if she knew who broke the lamp. Of course, she knew, but she hated to be a tattle-tell.

“She’s thrown up a couple of times, fainted at least three times, she’s refused medical help, even though she’s clearly in a lot of pain, and she’s light enough for me to carry in my pocket if I feel like it,” Emma replied. She had told when she was seven, too, with the hope that her foster mother would keep her. It did not work out. _But, clearly I don’t learn_.

“The Queen has the wasting curse. She’s going to die within a fortnight. There’s no cure,” the Blue Fairy stated as if it were no big deal.

“What do you mean ‘no cure’?” Emma demanded, narrowing her gaze to the fairy. She did not want to accept that. There had to be a cure. It was just magic. Surely, some other kind of magic could beat it. Her kid needed his mother, even if he did not think he did. And, she hated to even silently admit, but she needed Regina because Regina was a consistent in her life. She did not have much of those and apparently she liked them, even if Regina was a bitch more than half the time.

The Blue Fairy shrugged a bit, as if it was nothing. “There is no way to reverse that curse. The Queen will die.”

“But, you’re supposed to be some all-powerful, wish-granting Queen of the fucking Fairies. You should be able to save her,” Emma argued.

“You should,” Snow jumped in.

“Well, I cannot. There’s no way to stop the wasting curse. She will die quite the horrible death.”

“Horrible how?” Emma asked, even though she did not want to know. But, maybe knowing would help her prepare for it when it came.

“Her symptoms will get worse. It’s different for each case, but expect festering sores and the general break down of her body. There have been cases of a loss of senses, brittle bones, hair and fingernail loss, confusion, melancholy, and dozens of other things. There’s nothing I can do. It was a curse developed by the Dark One,” the Blue Fairy answered.

“The Dark One?” Emma echoed. _Who the hell is that?_ She felt like she would have to get Henry to give her a crash on who the hell everyone on town was now.

“Rumplestiltskin. Could he cure this?” Snow inquired.

Emma was a little curious as to why Snow seemed so interested curing Regina. According to Henry’s book, Regina had made Show’s life a living Hell for some rather petty reasons – _prettier than her? Is that the fairy tale version of ‘she think she cute?’ High school bullshit_. Not to mention, Regina had cursed them all and everything in between. _But, I guess being Snow White and all that crap, she’s probably pretty forgiving_. Emma groaned as she thought about how she might have to get to relearn this new woman who looked like Mary Margaret, but acted nothing like her.

Of course, this was actually Mary Margaret-esque. She was good, kind woman. She would probably help save Regina and forgive her for her horrible actions. _Maybe my friend is in there somewhere, but now she’s my fucking mother_. Emma groaned mentally and turned her attention back to the discussion.

“I doubt it. He is not the Dark One I speak of. There have been many Dark Ones in our world through out history. Rumplestiltskin might have inherited the spell, but there’s never been a cure as far as I know. As I said, the Queen will die,” the Blue Fairy answered.

“But, it’s worth a try,” Emma said.

“What does it matter? This woman has brought us all nothing, but grief. A plague unto us. Your family most of all,” the Blue Fairy pointed out.

“That’s also my kid’s mom and she might be a crazy bitch, but he asked me to protect her. He’s confused right now because he was right and because he loves her, but he doesn’t want her to die. So, I’m not giving up on her just yet,” Emma declared and she marched back into the mansion, leaving her family and their fairy tales outside. Her reality lay within, coughing up a lung and dying of magical cancer.

 _That’s my reality? Magical cancer? Maybe I passed out in my apartment before I blew out my cupcake candle and this whole thing is a dream due to smoke inhalation_. That reality made a lot more sense than magical cancer.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Regina and Emma search for a cure.


	3. Holy crap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

3: Holy crap

Regina could hear the Charming clan and that Blue bitch exiting her house. She had barely made it into the upstairs hallway when she heard the door open and shut, signaling that she was thankfully alone. Inhaling deeply, she managed to stay upright and swallow the ache of her curse; her curse that the Charmings and the Blue Fairy now knew of. It was only a matter of time before the idiots of Storybrooke were back at her front door, but instead of torches and pitchforks, they would have chairs, popcorn, and drinks to watch her die the most horrible death a single individual possibly could.

“Damn you, Rumple,” she hissed before another coughing fit racked her body. Her chest hurt now, small aches rippling through her body. A sign of things to come.

Part of her had always known that damned imp would be the death of her, but she had always imagined it would be far more glorious and spectacular, like being burned at the stake or crucified. Or maybe that was the fever talking. She was not sure which it was now.

Regina took a deep breath, focusing herself. She placed a hand on the wall to steady herself and then marched to her bedroom, but then thought better of it. She was not going to just lie down and die. _I’m Regina Mills, damn it! I’ve been through Hell and back and always come out on top! I will not allow Rumple to win this one_.

So, she went to her office. She poured herself a tumbler of cider and then sat at her desk. Running her fingers along the polished mahogany, as if trying to soak up the power she felt when she sat there. She wanted to take all of her essence from the room, put it back inside of her, and then rise like a phoenix from her own ashes. Inhaling, she did her best to feel that inner strength and stand as tall as she always had.

“There has to be a way to beat this. I can’t let this be the end. I still need to make Snow White suffer, damn it,” she growled. There was still so much to do and no way to do it in the time she had left, a couple of weeks. She snorted. “A couple of weeks if I’m lucky.”

She shook that thought away. She would make it a couple of weeks and more because she was Regina Mills. She would make it through this.

“I will make it through this and then I will crush that imp,” Regina declared before swallowing her drink and enjoying the burn.

“Regina?” she heard Miss Swan call.

She snarled at the sound of the damned sheriff. The woman had saved her and witnessed her weakness. She wanted nothing more than to destroy that demon spawn of self-righteousness. She would put that on her list. It would give her all the more reason to beat this curse. _That no one has ever beaten before. No! I am Regina Mills and I will live_.

“Regina,” Miss Swan called once more. She sounded a little more urgent this time.

“I will live,” Regina swore in a low tone. She made a tight fist. “And I will crush my enemies.”

“Regina! You better not be passed out again!” the sheriff’s voice seemed to echo through the empty house. She should have sounded threatening, but there was something else in her voice, something that Regina was not accustomed to hearing and was not sure how to identify.

Regina rolled her eyes. _How many times has this woman seen me passed out on the floor?_ She dismissed the question and decided to stay quiet. It was possible that the sheriff might not see her and leave, like that dinosaur in the movie she specifically told Henry not to watch, but he did anyway with Miss Swan and was now half-certain there was an island with dinosaurs off the shore of Costa Rico.

“Regina?” The sheriff poked her head into the room, looking like a curious cat with her blonde curls spilling in.

Regina realized her thoughts were rambling. She wondered if that was the curse or if she was just out of sorts. Blinking, she managed to drop that line of thought and brought up the proper outrage from having her enemies in her home.

“What are you doing here?” Regina demanded, jumping to her feet. She swayed a bit, but managed to stay on her feet. _That was the alcohol and not the curse!_ Of course, she doubted it was a good sign if she could not handle a single glass of cider.

“What do you mean what am I doing here? If it wasn’t for me, your brain would’ve boiled and you’d be dead!” the sheriff felt the need to point out.

Regina growled. “I would be fine. I don’t need you.” _I will be fine!_

Green eyes gaze her a smug look and a smirk tugged at the sheriff’s lips. “But, you will when you pass out in about an hour.”

“I will not,” the mayor proclaimed, holding her head up high. She would not pass out. “I will beat this!” she roared and the sheriff actually stepped back. _Wait, I said that out loud? It’s the alcohol, not the curse. I will beat this_. But, again, it was not a good sign for her if she could not keep her thoughts in her own head.

“Is there a way to beat this?” Miss Swan demanded, marching deeper into the room. Her eyes were locked on Regina’s with a familiar determination in her gaze.

“I will find it,” Regina stated, making a fist. “I will not let that bastard end me like this.” _I will not let him have the final say in our twisted association_.

“So, Rumple – Gold did this?” Miss Swan frowned, as if this bothered her for some reason.

“Who the hell else would do this to me?” Regina thundered, pointing to herself while moving to get into Miss Swan’s face. Unfortunately, she did not make it exactly because her legs were not listening and she stumbled a bit. Thankfully, she did not fall over, but that was only because she was not wearing her heels.

“Why would he do this to you?” the sheriff asked only to receive a harsh look from Regina. Miss Swan scrunched up her face and nodded. “Right. I guess I should just be happy he hasn’t managed to take Henry. But, then again, you’d be the one to guess his name.”

Regina scowled, even though she was certain there was a compliment in there somewhere. “Is there a point to your incessant ramblings?”

“The point is he could probably cure you! Let’s go see him,” the blonde insisted.

Russet eyes narrowed. “Yes, because the bastard that cursed me is dying to cure me of said curse he only enacted five minutes ago!” She left the “idiot” unsaid, but it probably did need to be said considering the sheriff’s lineage.

Miss Swan threw up her head in a fit. “We need to do something! You fainted like eight times in ten minutes, had a high fever that made you think you were freezing, and you’ve vomited blood. I don’t want to see what you have in store for tomorrow.”

Honestly, Regina did not want to see what tomorrow had in store either. The curse was already wreaking havoc upon her. What would it be like tomorrow, or next week, or near the end? Would she make it to the end? She shook those thoughts away. She would not let Rumplestiltskin beat her.

“Regina, tell me how to help you,” the annoying blonde pled. There was an odd look in her eyes that Regina did not totally comprehend.

“I don’t need your help,” Regina snarled. “I don’t need anyone’s help!” She held her breath, keeping in a cough.

“Regina—” The sheriff probably wanted to pled her case, but Regina did not want to hear any of it.

“Leave, Miss Swan! I don’t need nor do I desire your help!” She would do this on her own, as she did everything else. Trusting someone never did her any good. She trusted Snow and it got Daniel murdered along with her life ruined. She trusted Rumple and he was the one trying to kill her. She would not trust anyone ever again.

“Regina—”

“Leave!”

Regina was tempted to throw her hand out, test her magic once more, but it did not have to come to that. Thankfully, the sheriff left on her own. Regina was not sure what the sheriff was playing at with her bullshit about wanting to help, but Regina was not going to fall for it. She would beat this thing on her own.

“I just need to do some research,” Regina muttered and then she began coughing. Reaching for a nearby tissue, blood poured out of her mouth and her back shook. “I need to move fast… while I can still move.” She had to go to her father’s crypt.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma was tempted to go to Gold’s shop the second that she left Regina, but it was late. She was not sure when Gold closed up his shop, but she doubted it was opened late considering it was in Storybrooke. Of course, maybe with the curse broken and magic being real, time might not matter… and she did not even know where she was going with this thought. She let it go and wandered by Gold’s store anyway because she did not feel the urge to go home.

“Why the hell am I bothering? Regina doesn’t want my help and she was willing to kill me not even two days ago. She damn near killed the kid and, yet, in my fucked up head I still think of her as his mom, but probably because the kid sees her that way. Am I going through all of this trouble for the kid?” She knew the answer to that.

Yes, Regina was her kid’s mom, but there was also the fact that it felt like Regina was the only person she now knew in town. Regina was the only one who did not suddenly become someone else yesterday. _Was it yesterday?_ She was pretty sure it was yesterday, but it felt like decades had past since the Curse broke. So, right now, Regina was the only person that made sense and kept her grounded in something that resembled reality. She could not let anything happen to Regina or reality itself could slip away.

“Reality’s already slipping away,” she sighed, realizing she was talking to herself. Regina was dying of magical cancer, after all. Groaning, she doubted she would ever get used to that.

After finding out that Gold’s store was, in fact, closed for the night, Emma slowly made her way home. _Home?_ The very idea made her scoff. She did not have a home. She had learned that lesson early enough in life. _But, it had been home when Mary Margaret was there. But, she’s gone now_. She had also learned that people leave all the time. That was just a fact and it hurt, each and every time. Eventually, instead of being left, she did the leaving… except one time when she had been stupid. But, that only enforced the idea that people left and she would never be that stupid again.

Her parents left. Neal left. Mary Margaret left. Even Henry left. Sure, the first one was not his decision, but he did decide to leave Regina. So, people left. Hell, Regina was going to leave. This bothered her, not because she particularly liked Regina, but because Regina was a constant in her life for a year. That was better than most people she met. _I should leave first. I should go before they do, so it won’t hurt as much_.

Her plan had been to walk to her car, yet somehow she ended up at the apartment door. So, her brain wanted to leave, but not her feet? It made little sense to her and she dreaded the idea of going inside. Her friend Mary Margaret would not be waiting inside and she would not get a moments peace. She leaned her forehead to the door while again pondering flight. Taking a deep breath, she put her key in the door and decided to take the plunge. It would not be right to just abandon the kid, after all. She would be a hypocrite.

“Emma, thank goodness! We thought something happened to you!” Snow White rushed her and embraced her, as much as she wished Snow White would not do that. She could easily feel that Snow was not Mary Margaret and she hated that. _Mary Margaret left. Everybody leaves_.

“Like what? Most people are home at this time,” Emma pointed. Storybrooke was probably the safest place that she had ever been.

“That was before the curse broke. Now, you don’t know what could be out there,” Henry proclaimed from his spot at the counter. He had his book in front of him for whatever reason.

Emma blinked as she realized something. “Kid, what are you doing here?”

“We thought it would be best for Henry to stay with us, his family,” not-Mary Margaret answered, glancing at Henry in a strange way.

Emma quickly shook that thought away. It was not fair to think of Snow White as “not-Mary Margaret.” It was not Snow’s fault she was not her cursed self. But, it was Snow’s fault Emma had grown up an orphan, being left, being used, and being hollowed out by the rest of the world.

“Yeah, my family,” Henry concurred with a nod, taking Emma from her thoughts.

Emma felt her face twitch, but she was not sure why. It made sense for Henry to stay with them. People were trying to kill Regina, after all. Not to mention, Regina had the whole “death curse” going on. It was probably for the best right now, but she had a feeling they were talking about something much more permanent. The very thought made her teeth itch. Or maybe it was the word “family.” Another word and concept that was foreign to her. _I don’t want to deal with this right now_.

“Well, it’s late and I’m tired. Gonna go to bed,” Emma declared, going so far as to feign a yawn and exaggerating a stretch. Truthfully, she was exhausted, but it was mental. Her mind ached from the world crumbling around her and the very foundation of the earth shifting.

“Emma, wait—” David – Prince Charming – whoever the hell he was tried to stop her.

“Really tired,” Emma insisted, rushing upstairs. Out of everyone, Prince Charming was the last person in the room that she wanted to talk to because she did not like him much when he was David Nolan.

She basically barricaded herself in her room. She could hear them talking, but she had no idea what they were discussing and she really did not care. She hated this change. She wanted everything to go back to normal, back to the way it was before. Before everything changed. Change was bad.

She did her best not to think about it and willed herself to sleep, something that she had not done since living on the streets. She only slept for a couple of hours; something else that was a throwback to her life on the streets and some of her more horrible foster homes. Quietly, she checked to see if anyone else was up.

The apartment was dark, just like outside. Henry was asleep on the sofa. For a moment, she saw herself at his age and in that position. She had only slept on the couch a week, but it felt like a lifetime ago, several lifetimes. Those people had gone away, giving her up, just like these people. Shaking her head, Emma exited the apartment, figuring now was as good a time as any to check on Regina.

“With luck, she’s not dead yet,” Emma muttered.

She contemplated taking her car, but she knew that the temptation to drive out of town would be too great. Besides, walking would kill time. Of course, showing up at Regina’s house at four in the morning was not much better than being there at three in the morning. On the way there, she could feel the change in the air, even though nothing appeared different. There was an extra chill to the cold air. Storybrooke suddenly felt like an alien planet. She was scared to breathe, lest she become infected with the same madness as everyone else. It almost felt like it could soak through her skin and turn her into another person. _Hasn’t it already done that?_

The Emma that she knew she should be would have fled the scene of this asylum a long time ago, but here she was. She did not know what to make of it. _Was it magic?_ Shaking her head, she rid herself of these thoughts and focused on her environment.

She could sense movement every few blocks. She felt like she was being stalked. She noted movement in the darkness, but there did not seem to be a threat. She wondered if there were any mythological beasts out there aside from witches, fairies, and imps. Honestly, she would not care if she found out by each one jumping out of the bushes to challenge her. She felt like she would tear them limb from limb, but would simply lie down and die if they did the same to her. Distraction or escape; both would be welcomed by her. Neither came.

She made it to Regina’s house without discovering what lurked in the waning night. She found the mayor sitting in the darkness of her office. She was glad that Regina realized it was best to not turn on the lights. But, she was trying to read by a single candlelight, which could not be good. Suddenly, Regina turned sharply, revealing that she was wearing glasses. Emma gasped, surprised by the sudden movement, she told herself. _Nothing to do with her being sexy in glasses_.

“You’re back,” Regina hissed, glaring at the sheriff. She sat up at her desk, looking almost normal, but not quite.

“I wanted to make sure you’re all right, not dying of a fever or anything.” She shrugged and had to the fight the urge of kicking at an imaginary pebble. Something about the way Regina stared at her made her feel silly, even though she knew Regina needed her help.

A scowl cut across Regina’s face, thoroughly insulted from being checked up on apparently. “I’m fine as you can see. I’m not a sick child. Now, you can see yourself out.”

“Fine” was not how Emma would describe the woman in front of her. She could see the pile of paper towels next to Regina and assumed that they were full of blood. Even though the lighting was poor, she could see sweat rolling down Regina’s face.

“Hunting for a cure?” Emma guessed, taking in the books littering the desktop.

“That much is obvious,” Regina growled. She sounded like her usual self, but she should have been on her feet by now and in Emma’s meddling face. Looking harder, she could see how weary and drawn Regina appeared. The mayor probably could hardly sit up.

“Found one?” Emma hoped she did. She wanted their little bit of normalcy, their back and forth, their “thing.” She knew their “thing” was unhealthy and crazy, but it was better than everything happening now.

Regina scowled. “The Holy Grail.”

“That’s a real thing?” Emma blurted out and then immediately realized what she said. “I mean, isn’t that supposed to Jesus’ cup and all and I didn’t think Jesus was from your world.”

Regina shook her head. “He’s not. Like everything about the Old World here, the Holy Grail has become part of a story or legend, but it does exist. Supposedly, if you drink from it, it cures you of any illness.”

Smiling, Emma made a fist. “Awesome. Let’s do it.”

Regina arched an eyebrow. “So, you have the Grail on you right now?”

Emma felt her face screw up. “Why the hell would I?”

“Then we can’t do anything.”

Now, Emma frowned. “You don’t have the Grail? Do you know where it is? I’ll go get the damn thing.” _Things are about to go back to normal. I just need to get the Holy Grail_. Mentally, she groaned. _Imagine, I’ve gone my whole life without having that thought_.

“Don’t you think that’s the first thing I would’ve done if I knew where the damned thing was?” Regina growled, slamming her fist on the desk.

Rolling her eyes, Emma scoffed and threw her hands up in frustration. “You don’t know where it is? What the hell? I thought you were in charge and the Evil Queen and all of that bullshit! How don’t you know where it is?”

“I never had the Grail in my possession. It was guarded by knights of The Fallen Kingdom and they refuse to tell anyone where it could be found, especially the Evil Queen.”

“Well, shit, Regina, what the fuck are we going to do?” Emma demanded and she began pacing. She needed to move; it helped her think.

“I don’t know!” Regina roared right back. “I don’t fucking know! Rumple has me here, all right? I’ve searched these books for hours and all I have to show for it is a myth from the Old World and the knowledge that I will be dead before the month is over!” She violently shoved the books from her desk. They hit the floor with soft thuds that seemed to echo through out the room, but overshadowed by Regina’s heavy breathing.

“No, Regina. I won’t let that happen,” Emma vowed. She needed to hold onto Regina, to hold onto normalcy. “You have to keep looking and I’m going to go try something else. But, before that, you need to get some sleep.”

“No, I can’t sleep. I need to beat this thing.” Regina’s eyes shifted back to her desk, looking for another book probably.

“And we will. But, you’re not going to do it if you pass out again. Besides, do you really want to pass out in front of me again?” Emma gave her a teasing, lopsided grin, taunting her, goading her because they both needed it.

Regina snarled and leaped up, clearly ready to give Emma a piece of her mind. Unfortunately, her inner ear did not seem to agree as she lost her balance and her body swayed. She ended up leaning against Emma to catch herself. Emma decided to pretend that was perfectly normal as Regina glared up at her.

“That was nothing,” Regina stated.

Emma did not even acknowledge that. She glanced at the ceiling as Regina righted herself. Regina cleared her throat when it was safe to stop acting like she could see the designs above her. That single candle was crap. _How the hell did people live without light bulbs? Why would people want to live without light bulbs?_ She did not have the answer to that and Regina speaking distracted her from that line of thought.

“I will eat something and then sleep just to have fresh eyes when I continue my search. You may show yourself out,” Regina dismissed her.

Emma shrugged and pretended to leave. She walked around the block a few times, continuing to note the way the air seemed different in Storybrooke now. Something underneath that, almost like low voltage electricity felt like it danced just underneath her skin. She did not know what to make of it and did her best to ignore it. There were other things to worry about, after all.

There were things like parents to worry about and a kid. A kid that was going to lose the woman that raised him for his whole life. A kid that wanted her to be something that she had never had the pleasure to even experience. How could she be something that she never had? That was another reason why Regina needed to live. Despite all of the crappy things Regina might have done, the evil things, she damn sure seemed to know how to raise a child if Henry was any evidence of that.

“I definitely can’t do that alone,” Emma muttered. And despite how much family she suddenly had, Emma still felt very much alone. Everyone was different, but she was the same… and Regina was the same. She needed Regina to stay the same.

As the sun began making its existence known, Emma turned back. She just wanted to make sure Regina made it to bed. Surprisingly enough, the smaller woman had made it to her bed. She even put on pajamas. She did not make it under the covers, but she was at least resting across the mattress. Emma put her head on the pillows and placed a sheet over her, not wanting to put more in case Regina had a fever again before she woke up.

Emma grabbed herself some breakfast from Regina’s fridge, not really wanting to see if Granny’s had gone through any changes yet, before deciding to see if going to Gold was as useless as Regina made it seem. By the time she made it to the shop, he had only just opened, like everything was normal. She entered and there he was behind the counter as if nothing was different in the slightest.

“Miss Swan, to what do I owe the pleasure? I would have thought that you would be spending your time getting to know your parents and enjoying your son,” Gold remarked with that infernal smirk of his.

Emma did her best not to frown. She did not want him to know her feelings about having parents. The glint in his eyes seemed to already read her, so she put on her best poker face. She refused to let him in, refused to give him any sort of advantage. _I already owe this dirt bag a favor and that was before I found out he was an imp_.

“I was just wondering about the stuff in your shop,” Emma commented. “You have a lot of junk.” She made a show of looking around.

A shadow crossed his face before his smirk returned. “I can assure you, Miss Swan, none of this is junk. Everything has its place. Is there something here that has your interest?”

She shrugged. “Not really. I guess I was just wondering if all of this junk comes from deals you’ve made with people or stuff you happened to own before.”

“Sounds like you’re fishing for things, Miss Swan. How about you tell me what it is you want? It’ll take up less of my time.”

“Fine. You wouldn’t happen to have the… Holy Grail, would you?” Emma inquired and did her best not to sound as stupid as felt in requesting such an item.

The glint in his eyes teased her. “Now, what would you need that for? You know someone facing a life-threatening illness that you wish to cure?” He smirked again, as if he knew what she was trying to do.

She decided to call his bluff and looked him straight in the eye as she did. “Henry was just poisoned. I wanna make sure he’s all right.”

He raised a finger. “Ah, but True Love’s kiss already saw to that. It is the most powerful magic of all, so you shouldn’t need the Grail.”

She waved that off. “I don’t know how this magic junk works. I want to be sure. We can make another deal.”

Wagging his finger in her face, he chuckled. “I don’t think so, Miss Swan. I only need the one favor from you. You might try something else if you wish to save the Queen, which I can assure you won’t happen,” he declared and then his voice got dangerously low. “And I don’t recommend you trying to trick me ever again. This is my game.”

“Regina’s life is not a game,” Emma proclaimed with a glare of her own.

He leaned in a bit. “What do you even care? Is she not your mortal enemy? The woman who has kept your son from you? Separated you from loving parents? Why not relish in her demise?”

“Like you?” She could not imagine enjoying watching anyone die.

He smiled, obviously delighted, and then he let a high giggle. It was unnerving and demented. “Oh, yes, I will. The Queen has overstepped her boundary. She will die a hideous death. Enjoy the show. Everyone else will.” He giggled once more.

“How can you just watch someone die?” she demanded. _What kind of sick person is he?_

She wanted to tear his lips off when he smiled again. It was like having the devil smile at her. He had always been creepy, but now there seemed to be more to it. There was a sinister vibe to him.

“So, you won’t lift the curse?” she inquired.

“Why would I do that? I’m going to happily watch as she fades into nothing, feeling the worse pain imaginable. It will be glorious,” he declared and he laughed.

She could suddenly picture him breaking the necks of rats and drinking their blood. It made her skin crawl. Backing up, Emma practically ran out off the shop. She felt like she could still hear him laughing from blocks away, laughing that he had killed her kid’s mother, laughing that he shattered their reality.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Emma tries to get Regina to understand she’s going to help her. Regina is, as one can imagine, defensive and suspicious.


	4. Help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

4: Help?

Regina did not know how to give up. It was one of the reasons why she was still standing after so much had happened in her life. But, it was also one of the reasons why so much had happened in her life. Right now, she hoped it worked in her favor because she was determined to not die. So, she scoured her books, needing to find an answer.

Again, she locked herself away in her office. It seemed less likely that someone would spot her upstairs than if she made her home downstairs in the living room. While she was not scared of someone discovering her, as she would never fear anything from these peons, she did not want to be disturbed. She needed to concentrate, so she could beat the little imp and prove that she was the most resilient and powerful thing he had created, or come across, or whatever the hell it was he did.

“There has to be something. There was even something for the damn Dark Curse. There has to be something,” she mumbled, trying to assure herself, yet a knot in her stomach grew tighter by the second. She scanned the pages faster and flipped through the book as if devouring it.

It was beginning to feel like there was a stone in her chest and she didn’t know if it was from anxiety or the curse. Coughing, she felt blood dripping from her nose. Wiping away the blood, she noticed the room was spinning, everything swirling together in a dizzying mix.

“No, I will not faint again,” she growled and gritted her teeth. She made a fist so tight that her nails bit into her palms. Blood dripped slipped through her fingers onto the cold, wooden floor. The dripping noise bounced off the walls, echoing back into her ears, and sounding like thunder, heralding her demise. “No, I will not.” She would not faint. She would not die.

Her back rose and fell as she took deep breaths, keeping herself calm. She was determined to not faint, but that was not to be. The world got blurry and she could feel herself going down. She heard her head smash against the floor more than she felt it. The sickening crack would echo through her mind for the rest of her life… all less-than-ten days of it.

“Regina?” She could hear that annoyance of a Savior calling her. She sounded so far away, but Regina could not see her. In fact, she could not see anything as the world appeared to be nothing more than a blur.

“Goddamn it, Regina, I can’t even leave you alone without you fainting every goddamn minute,” Miss Swan called and then gasped. “Goddamn it, Regina! What the fuck?”

Regina wanted to scold the sheriff for swearing, but the only sound her mouth would make was a groan. It turned out Miss Swan was closer than her voice implied as Regina could feel the irksome sheriff looming over her. Miss Swan touched her gently and she groaned. Pain radiated throughout her head and her temples thumped like someone was playing drums against them.

“Shit, Regina, can you talk?” Miss Swan inquired.

Regina tried to call her an idiot because, of course, she could talk! She was not an infant, nor was she a moron. But, when she opened her mouth to berate the dumb blonde, she discovered that she, indeed, could not speak. She groaned again and tried to shrug off the sheriff’s hand, but found that she also could not move. Trying to focus, she found thinking hard made her head pound even more.

“I’m going to call an ambulance,” Miss Swan declared as she pressed a cloth to Regina’s bloody head.

“Nnnnn,” Regina tried to object, ignoring how much it hurt to do that. She did not know if an ambulance would come and she did not want to chance who might show up. They had lucked out with Lady Tremaine and her daughters before, but she doubted such luck would hold. With the way things were going, she would not be surprised if the imposter prince showed up and shot her for getting blood on his precious daughter.

Miss Swan pulled back and scoffed. “Then what the hell do you want me to do? You’re bleeding like a stuck pig!”

“Phnnnn,” Regina mumbled, trying to point. She needed to keep the sheriff from doing something simple. _It’s like a fight against nature_.

“What? Don’t try to talk. Lemme…” the sheriff trailed off, head swiveling around as if searching for a solution for this problem.

“Nnnn,” she objected once more.

“Regina, now is not the time to be a brat!”

 _A brat? Brat indeed. I’m not the one panicking over nothing and having trouble following the simplest directions_. Regina took a deep breath and worked her jaw, hoping that it would help her speak. She licked her lips and tried once more.

“Phone,” she whispered.

“What?” the idiot inquired.

Regina growled, wishing that almost anyone on Earth were there as long as the person did not have Charming DNA. “Phone,” she managed to choke out once more. She might be dead before her “helper” actually managed to help her.

“Phone? Your phone?” Definitely an idiot. The point was only proven as the sheriff pulled out her own phone for some reason Regina doubted even she knew.

Regina was tempted to bang her head against the floor again. It might make the sheriff more tolerable. Since she doubted that she would be able to lift her head, she figured that she needed to focus on getting through to Emma. _This might take time and unfortunately I can’t devolve to speak her language_.

“Per… per… personal ph… ph…” Regina tried to tell her, but it was so hard to talk. Licking her lips, she tried once more. “Personal physician.”

“You have a personal physician? Someone you trust to come?” Miss Swan inquired.

Regina moaned an affirmative and wished that the “idiot” did not have to go unsaid. She could only lie there while listening to Miss Swan tear up her living room to find “the damned phone.” As her eyesight returned, she could see Miss Swan turning her office space upside down. It was not like it was so big.

“Chaise,” Regina managed to direct the sheriff. She could only hope the sheriff heard her, considering she barely heard herself.

Miss Swan clearly did not hear her as she pushed everything off of the coffee table. Regina sighed, but she could not say anything else. She did not have the strength. She could only hope the sheriff had reached her imbecile quota for the day and discovered the phone before Regina bled to death.

“Got it!” Miss Swan declared, holding up the phone in triumph. She then turned her attention to the phone. “Shit, Regina! What’s the password?”

Regina sighed, wishing the sheriff would just calm down. _Is this how she acts in emergencies? She’s going to be terrible at this job once the rabble rouse_. Her password was fairly obvious if the damned woman would stop panicking. Unfortunately, she did not have the energy to express this. Instead, she did her best to remain alert and awake. The world was fuzzy again, so she blinked until it came back into focus. Agony slithered down her from her head to the tips of her toes, but she bit it back.

“Regina, what is the password?” Miss Swan said, not really speaking to her from what Regina could tell. The sheriff paced a few feet away, like Regina was not bleeding a puddle on the floor.

Regina tried to respond, but could only gurgle and cough. There was blood in her throat that splattered all over the floor. It felt like her insides were being shredded, but she refused to lose consciousness. She had to keep track of the idiot in her home, after all. She could make out the lost look in those green eyes as Miss Swan ran a hand through her blond curls. _If she thinks on this a little harder, her pretty little head might explode_.

“Oh, it was Henry’s birthday,” the sheriff muttered the obvious.

Regina was dying to say something sarcastic directed at Emma’s intelligence, but, unfortunately, she was just plain dying and could not make color commentary as she was doing so. Part of her was tempted to just let go if only to escape the sheriff’s rescue attempt. Instead, she remained awake and noticed Miss Swan was crouched down next to her.

“Which one?” the sheriff inquired, holding the phone in front of Regina.

The mayor groaned and consciously ordered her body to raise a single finger. She was barely able to accomplish this, but the sheriff put the phone close and she scrolled. Once she came to the name it took all of her strength to press the call button. She blacked out right after that.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma grimaced when she heard Regina’s head smack against the floor. Still, she kept her attention on the phone, waiting for someone to pick up. She was not surprised when the person answered in a gruff and rude tone.

“Regina, what the hell?” a female voice snarled.

“Uh, it’s not Regina,” Emma said for lack of a better thing to say. She did not think it was appropriate to open with, “Regina’s dying,” in case this woman actually gave a damn about the so-called Evil Queen. It was possible for evil to have loved ones, right? _Hell, even Hitler was married, I think_. She remembered hearing that in one of the few history classes she made it to before dropping out of school in favor of stealing.

“Well, if she doesn’t kill you for stealing her phone, I’ll be sure to correct that mistake for waking me at this ungodly hour,” the response was purred, as if that were an attractive plan.

“I didn’t steal her phone. Regina’s right here, passed out. Probably got a concussion and she’s bleeding all over the place,” Emma reported.

She sighed, as if bored with the whole report. “I’ll be right over.”

The call was disconnected and any other time Emma would have been offended by the rudeness, but she was not really surprised by it since the person was a friend of Regina’s. Besides, she was more concerned with Regina than anything else. Inspecting Regina, she did not know where to begin.

“She is looking rather rundown,” a voice commented from behind her.

Emma, already on edge, could not help jumping. “What the hell?” She spun around to face the newcomer. “Where did you come from?” she demanded while trying to get her heart out of her throat.

The woman who possibly appeared out of thin air smiled at her and Emma thought she saw fangs in that perfect, pretty mouth painted a blood red. Convincing herself that if was a trick of the light, Emma watched the woman carefully as leaned down and auburn curls spilled over her shoulder. Dark green, like a foreboding forest, eyes studied Regina’s prone form before cutting up to focus on Emma, who was certain her heart would remain her throat until this woman left.

“Regina,” the woman sighed as she brushed some of the mayor’s blood and sweat soaked hair from her face. She shook her head and, for a moment, Emma thought the woman might actually care for Regina.

“Can you help her? She asked for you specifically,” Emma explained, keeping an eye on this newcomer. Something about this woman made her skin crawl, even if she seemed interested in Regina. Interest was not often a good thing.

“Help her?” this was echoed as if it amused her. Glancing up at Emma, the newcomer chuckled. “Nothing can help her now. She has the wasting curse.” It was reported as if it was nothing, but it did not sound good.

Emma gasped. “How can you tell?”

The woman, eerily beautiful, shrugged lightly. “Oh, I’ve seen it before. It’s a cruel way to die. Not one I’m sure the Queen saw her demise in. She must have done something awful to that imp.”

Emma swallowed hard. She did not like the sound of that. “So, what can we do?”

The woman fluttered her long, dark lashes. “Nothing really.” She made a dismissive hand gesture.

“I’m not just going to watch her die!” Emma protested, pointing down at Regina. _I probably should pick her up off the floor, but I doubt she wants blood on her … what did she call it a ‘chase’? Whatever. Her couch thing_.

She laughed; a low, chilling sound. “Oh, but you will. We all will.” Her eyes scanned the room, taking in the books littering the area. “I see Regina is still in the ‘denial’ stage of things. I hope she didn’t call me to cure her.”

“No, she wanted you to do something about her head. You don’t see the gash? What type of doctor are you?” Emma snapped, disliking the woman’s callous attitude.

An elegant rust-colored eyebrow arched. “Is that what she told you I was? I suppose that’s the most accurate description this world has. I suppose I could take care of the minor things. Not like anyone else would do such a thing,” she commented, as if helping was a chore.

Emma bit back an insult and watched the woman work. She placed a pale hand over Regina’s wound and her hand began to glow. The blood slowly stopped pouring from her skull and vanished from the tile.

“You can move Regina to the chaise if you’d like.”

Emma blinked, not totally understanding, but not wanting to leave Regina on the floor. She picked her up, immediately reminded that Regina was losing weight. She eased the mayor down onto the couch, making sure to put her in a comfortable position. _Not that this thing looks all that comfortable. Who the hell buys couches for the style, not the comfort?_ Shaking the wandering and misplaced thoughts from her head, she turned her attention to the woman, who was apparently more witch doctor than physician. _A very well dressed witch doctor_.

“You can’t do anything about the curse?” Emma asked.

“Nothing substantial, no.” She shrugged. Even her damned shoulders were perfect, but she was still creepy. _Maybe it runs in this town. All the pretty ones are creepy_.

Emma growled and threw her hands up. “What the fuck is the point of all this magic bullshit if you have to watch a friend die?”

There was that damned laugh again. “Whose friend? Certainly not yours.” Her dark eyes tracked Emma for a moment, feeling like they were smothering her, before falling to Regina.

Emma could not call her a liar on that one. “But, isn’t she yours?”

Those green eyes swept back to Emma. She arched that damned eyebrow again. She had to be friends with Regina for the simple fact that she was almost as infuriating as Regina without saying a word. Why else would she even come if she was not friends with Regina?

“So, you can’t do anything for her?” Emma inquired after an uncomfortable stretch of silence.

“Not what you want me to do,” she answered in a bit of a purr and a slight tilt of her head.

Emma just wanted to bash the woman’s face in. She did not even give a damn that she did not know her name. She just knew looking at this woman and listening to her answers made her sick to her stomach. A small part of her recognized that she actually hated the hopelessness that the woman represented and the death of normalcy in Regina’s wasting away. It did not help that this woman was taking it so lightly while Emma was… not. Regina dying should not mean more to her than to someone Regina had in her damned phone.

“Why can’t you just save her?” Emma whispered, eyes focused on Regina.

Emma did not hear the woman move, but suddenly she was on the sheriff’s back. Her hands seemed to caress Emma’s shoulders, but more like smoke than skin. Her breath was right in Emma’s ear. Chills ran down Emma’s spine despite how warm the woman actually was.

“It doesn’t work like that my dear Savior. It’s sad that you don’t quite grasp this,” she hissed softly. Her words caressing Emma’s cheek, but felt as if they left frost behind.

Scowling, Emma felt her face tense. “Then do you know where I can find the Holy Grail?”

Her laugh chilled Emma to the bone and made every hair on her body stand on end. “You are damn near adorable.” She ran her fingers Emma’s hair before stepping back, which Emma was thankful for. Something about this woman made Emma feel like there was liquid darkness oozing through her.

Suddenly, Regina made a noise and Emma dared to hope that meant somehow everything would go back to normal. She watched Regina as anxiety scratched at her belly, no sure what she was anticipating. Regina coughed and blood splattered over her lips.

“Do you need anything?” Emma inquired, needing to do something.

Regina shook her head and groaned. Her eyes fluttered open and she scanned the ceiling before focusing on her guests. Emma thought the stress was getting to her because she could have sworn that for a very brief second Regina smiled when those dark eyes landed on her.

“I see you made it, Maggie,” Regina commented in a grungy voice.

“Well, I did have to see if the rumors were true. Of course, the rumors of your demise are as greatly exaggerated as always,” the woman commented with a strange, almost predatory smile, as if she planned to kill Regina herself. Maybe kill her and then skin her, or something just as diabolical.

“Soon, they won’t be,” Regina moaned, eyes closing briefly.

Emma jumped in at that point. “Hey, don’t talk like that!”

Regina sighed. “Sheriff, we must face the truth.”

“You don’t look like you’re ready to face the truth,” the other woman – Maggie if Regina was right, but maybe not if that was a name from the Curse – noted, eyes glancing over at the books littering the floor.

“I am now. Clearly this will run its course and end with my death. I accept that. I don’t have enough time to waste it looking for a cure that might not exist,” Regina replied in a low voice.

“Does not exist,” Maggie corrected her.

“Thank you, Maggie,” Regina deadpanned, sounding almost like herself. “Does not exist. A cure that does not exist.”

“What?” Emma’s mouth hung open in shock. “You’re just giving up?”

Regina’s eyes hardened. “I never give up, but I must resign myself to my obvious fate. There’s too much to prepare for in probably less than a couple of weeks. I don’t have time to waste, especially if I’m going to be unconscious for most of it.”

“What the hell is more important than trying to stay alive?” Emma demanded, glaring down at the mayor. Regina was not supposed to just accept defeat. Regina was supposed to keep going, even when it was insanely stupid to continue. That was what the Regina she knew would do.

“Henry,” Regina answered the obvious and Emma felt like an ass because he was not even on her mind right now. “I have to do the best thing for my son.” She said it with such conviction that Emma almost did not know how to respond, like there was no good reply.

“Wouldn’t staying alive be the best thing for him?” Emma practically whispered.

“Holding onto false hope doesn’t do us any good,” Regina countered.

“All hope is false, ladies. We must get up and make our own future, either in ruins or from ruins,” Maggie declared, reminding them both that she was standing there.

Regina sighed. “In ruins. Always in ruins.” She probably did not realize she said those words aloud or that she spoke them loud enough for the others to hear.

“Regina, we can find a way,” Emma promised.

“You can tell yourself that lie and a million others as you waste your life searching,” Maggie said, stepping over to Regina.

She caressed the Queen’s cheek, which Emma thought was weird and a bit spooky. It was even weirder because Regina did not pull away. Instead, a tear slid down her cheek only to be wiped away by Maggie’s thumb. For some reason, the sight made Emma scowl more than usual.

“Regina, you once gave me the terrible gift of knowing what would’ve made me most happy in life, so I’ll return the favor. I can extend your life for a month or two, give you time to settle things with and for Henry, but you will experience the curse the whole time. It will only get worse,” Maggie said, glancing over at Emma for a reason the sheriff could not figure out. Was the other woman trying to imply that she would make things worse?

“I’ll handle it if it gives me a little more time to make things right with Henry,” Regina declared.

“I knew you’d say that. I’ll be back before the day is through.” Maggie disappeared before they could respond. Regina groaned and tried to sit up.

Emma fell to her side. “Hey, don’t strain yourself.” She placed a hand at Regina’s back and helped her into a sitting position.

Regina did not object to the assistance. From the distant look in her eyes, Emma wondered if the Queen even realized that she was sitting up. Emma thought it might be best to bring Regina back from wherever she was, so she started talking.

“It’s good that your friend can buy you a month or so, but I won’t stop looking for a cure. Henry needs you for longer than two months,” Emma stated.

“Henry needs me? Did I not almost just kill Henry?” Regina pointed out.

“But, it wasn’t on purpose.” _Did I really just say that? Shit, she was trying to kill me! I’m trying to keep this woman alive and she tried to kill me not even two days ago. But…_ There was something about Regina. Something beyond Emma’s comprehension, among all the other reasons why Emma continued to help.

Regina chuckled; it was an empty sound. “Funny that you would defend me now. Not even two days ago, you’d have danced on my grave.”

“No, Regina. Just no.” Emma sighed. Yeah, two days ago she had been pissed enough to want to strangle Regina in a storage closet, but things were different now. “Can we not talk about this? I just want to help you. I don’t want you to die.”

“You’d be the only one.”

“Well, your friend Maggie doesn’t seem to interested in losing you either.”

“Maggie is not my friend.”

“No?” Emma asked, wanting to go deeper than that, but doubted that Regina would explain. “Do you think she’ll be able to help or did she just run out on us?”

“Us?” Regina echoed with an arched eyebrow.

Emma scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Isn’t obvious that I’m in this for the long haul?”

“All one to two months of it?”

Emma did not take the bait. “So, that means Maggie can do what she says?”

“She probably can and will. I can at least get my affairs in order and prepare Henry for my passing, should he care.”

“Hey! Of course, he’ll care! You’re his mother.”

Regina sighed, but she did not argue. Instead, her gaze dragged across the room. Her eyes settled on the spot where she had fallen and lingered there for several long moments. Sighing once more, she shook her head.

“How about some breakfast?” Regina suggested as she managed to climb off of the sofa. Emma was certain that she was watching the defeat of the Evil Queen. Did she count as the Savior, the so-called hero, if all she did was watch?

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Maggie returns, bothering Emma, and Henry makes an appearance.


	5. Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

5: Empty

Maggie returned as promise. Regina slept on the couch and Emma looked through the books littering the floor. She glanced up to see Maggie brushing Regina’s hair from her face. Those green eyes, so much like a predator earlier, seemed almost gentle now. Her touch seemed the same. Emma wondered what happened between them.

“I thought she wasn’t your friend,” Emma commented.

Maggie turned and smiled at her, that predatory gaze back. “My dear, don’t you know villains have no friends? Evil walks alone.”

Emma did not buy it. “Then why help her?”

Maggie waved the question away with her hand and her hand moved almost like it was in slow motion. There was something sensual in her every moment, like it was meant to seduce, but it mostly put Emma on edge. “Don’t mistake the kindness for affection. Tomorrow I might decide to kill her myself or she might decide to kill me. No honor amongst thieves and all, which I suppose you understand if your very public police report means anything.”

Emma nodded, as that made a little more sense than she expected. Criminals trusted each other enough to commit crimes with, but generally they were also the first people to give each other up when they were caught. Hell, she used to live a life similar to this not too long ago. And Neal had taught her that a person could care for someone and screw her over in almost the same breath.

“So, your name is Maggie?” Emma inquired, trying to make small talk and maybe get a little more comfortable around this woman.

A frown cut across her face and now she appeared beyond dangerous. “No, that is my Cursed name. If Regina wishes to continue calling me by it, she may. You, however, will call me Morgan.”

“Morgan?”

A crimson eyebrow arched. “Is that not a normal name in your world?” She smirked and, again, it looked like a fang gleamed, but it had to be a trick of the light.

“Did you just make that name up or was that your name in…” Emma had no clue what the hell the other place was called beyond “the Enchanted Forest” and would be damned if she was going to utter those words out loud. She had already seriously searched for the damn Holy Grail and was currently watching Regina die of the “wasting curse.” _There’s only so much crazy shit I can say and do!_

“Does it matter? You will call me Morgan and I may decide not to cut your head off,” the redhead commented, brushing the whole matter aside with a flick of her wrist.

Emma rolled her eyes. “I’ve had death threats from Regina, so you don’t really scare me. What’s your deal with Regina, anyway?”

Morgan shrugged and moved closer. She moved almost as if she was made of smoke. She wafted from place to place and was in Emma’s face as if she appeared there. Of course, she might have. It was hard to tell and harder for her mind to process, so Emma dismissed it. Smirking, Morgan ran her hand down Emma’s cheek and Emma felt like all the warmth drained from her body.

“I wanted her to be someone she wasn’t and she played the role for a while. Of course, I’m not sure she realized she played the role. A little girl, far from home,” Morgan whispered the end and her eyes drifted to Regina.

Emma was not buying that Morgan did not care about Regina anymore. There was something there and it gnawed at her belly. She decided against thinking about. They had more pressing matters.

“So, did you make this potion or whatever?” Emma inquired, fighting against the urge to move away from Morgan. She needed to stay close to Regina, even though she suspected Morgan would not hurt the mayor.

“Right here.” Morgan flicked her wrist and a small bottle appeared in her hand. It was filled with an onyx liquid. It was like a vial of tar, but not as thick.

Emma took the bottle and shook it in front of her face. Was black ever good to drink? “Are you sure this will help her?” She tried her best not to screw her face up, but she knew she failed. Horribly.

“Oh, nothing will help the Queen now.” An odd smile curled onto her pale face, but there was a shattered, almost haunted look in her dark green eyes. “You really must face facts, darling Savior. This is a dead woman.” She motioned down to Regina. “Enjoy your time with her as time is precious and she can be as well given the correct circumstances, but she will die.”

Emma was sick of hearing that. Everybody was so goddamn sure of everything. _Am I the only one around here that just doesn’t know?_ Of course, it felt shitty to not know anything. But, then again, looking at Morgan, she was not sure if it was so great to know everything either.

“She must take all of that and then she may live a couple more months, maybe,” Morgan commented, tilting her head a bit.

Emma frowned. “Maybe?”

“As much as it may seem like it, nothing is certain.” She shrugged and spread her hands slowly.

“Except Regina dying?” Emma guessed, narrowing her gaze on Morgan. _Why do I wanna deck this chick so much?_ She managed to rein in the impulse.

Morgan chuckled. “As the sun rises in the east and such, my darling. Nothing is certain, but things need to follow a natural order. Consider this, how much blood have you seen Regina cough up? How bad have her fevers been? These are only the things you can see, but inside there is much worse going on. There’s only so much a body can take. All things break down. Some faster than others.”

Emma almost wanted to tell Morgan to just go back to being creepy. It was unnecessary, though. Morgan smirked at her and then vanished. Emma was left to wonder the history there, but turned her attention to this potion that would give Regina some more time. Again, was it safe to drink anything that was black?

Emma decided to smell it. If it smelled bad, she figured that would answer her question. Pulling the cork out of the tiny bottle, she gagged before she even put it to her nose. Okay, was it good to drink something that was black and smelled like liquid gym socks covered in old cheese?

“Shouldn’t magic be pink and smell like rainbows or sugar or something?” Emma wondered, lip curled in disgust and tongue out, ready to vomit.

“If only that were the case,” Regina remarked in a woozy tone.

“How you feeling?” Emma asked, turning her attention down to the mayor.

“Like a million paper cuts would be a relief,” Regina replied. Her eyes were half open. Slowly, she lifted her hand and wiped her mouth quite delicately with two fingers. There was nothing there, but she probably dreamed of coughing up blood considering how often she did it.

Emma scratched her head. “Well, Morgan dropped off the potion to give you a little more time. It doesn’t look good. I’m talking poison-not-good.”

Regina groaned. “Sounds like my thing.”

Emma knew this was not good. Regina was joking. She was not being snide or sarcastic. She was actually joking around, almost playfully. _How much does she hurt?_ If this was just the start, what did the end look like?

Regina groaned once more as she pushed herself up on the sofa. There were lines under her eyes, as if she were tired, even though she had just taken a three-hour nap. Inhaling through her nose, she seemed to steel herself and she sat up a little straighter. Looking down, Regina seemed to be examining herself and, if the wrinkle in her forehead meant anything, Regina did not like the disheveled mess she saw. Emma passed her the bottle.

“Are you sure you want to drink that? It looks like tar,” Emma commented.

Regina held the bottle with her thumb and forefinger, studying it. “I’m sure tar would be more appealing.”

Well, that did not sound reassuring. “Can you trust Morgan?”

Regina’s answer was to down the potion in one gulp. She did not even flinch, like she just had a cup of water. Sighing, Regina put the empty bottle down on the coffee table. She then collapsed back on the sofa cushions. Emma watched and waited, moving around, tapping her foot, doing her best not to tear her hair out at the roots.

“What do we do now?” Emma finally asked when it was clear Regina was just going to lie there.

Regina inhaled and exhaled loudly. “I need to tell Henry.”

“What are you going to say?” She could only imagine what a dying mother would say to a child. How would Henry react, especially since he seemed upset with Regina? Well, with the Evil Queen.

Closing her eyes, Regina breathed loudly through her nose. “I don’t know.”

Emma wished she were relieved to know she was not the only clueless one. But, she believed Regina would think of something. Regina was Henry’s mother, so she would suddenly just know what to tell him if she could not think of something right now. That was what moms did, right? Emma would worry about other things.

“Well, while you think about it, should we look for other possible cures in your books?” Emma asked. The books were all over the place, some open, some closed, and others just looking as if Regina flung them to their current locations.

“Don’t you have work to do?” Regina pointed out.

It was a very good question to which Emma did not have an answer. Storybrooke was not the sleepy little hamlet it was three days ago. There were kings and queens wandering the streets, noses in the air, frowns on their faces, and seemed to be silently demanding things that Emma could not figure out. Fairies and dwarves were about the area, talking of going to the skies without planes, of digging in the earth for items Emma was certain did not exist, and making claims of fairy dust solving problems Emma did not know they had. There was magic and fairy tales were real. Was law and order still a thing? How could they be when “magical cancer” was a thing?

“I’ll be fine on my own for a few hours. You may go,” Regina dismissed her, going as far as waving her away.

“You think you’re getting rid of me that easy? What if you start a fever while I’m gone?” Emma inquired with an arched eyebrow. The fevers were the worse because it seemed like Regina went from fine to cooking in no time. If she were not there to help, Regina would broil in her own skin. Then what would she tell Henry? She was fairly certain she would not be able to think of something.

“I’m sure you’ll be back long before I succumb to its effects,” Regina replied, as if it was nothing.

Green eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You’ll keep looking for a cure while I’m gone?” She would not leave if Regina would just sit there on the couch and wait for this damn thing to kill her.

“I will not die so easily, Miss Swan,” Regina vowed. Her voice was like steel and her eyes were sharp. Emma was certain Regina could probably chase Death off, if the embodiment of Death was real and, considering the way this crazy place now operated, this scenario was very possible.

As long as Regina had no plans to just lie down and die, Emma felt like she should be able to leave for a few hours. She could see what was going on in town and she could check on Henry. _Henry_. _What is he doing?_ Yeah, she definitely needed to check on him. She could only imagine what his day was like if he spent it with Snow White and Prince Charming.

“I’ll be back,” Emma said, sighing, which she thought was odd. She really did not want to leave and she had a feeling it had nothing to do with her fear that Regina might die. She just did not want to see what the town looked like now that it was a fairytale.

Surprisingly enough, outside appeared normal. The air was still different, something still felt off and it crawled through her, but it looked normal. The sun was out and the sky was blue with a swirl of clouds smeared across it, like nothing could go wrong, like her son’s mother was not dying, and like her whole life was not turned upside down. But, as she walked, she could tell something was wrong. It looked normal, but it was surreal.

No one was out on the streets. There were no cars, no noise, and no smell that she would associate with civilization. Not even any wind, like the whole world stood still, like the planet had been abandoned. It was like everyone had vanished and she was not sure why. She did not feel like she was in danger, but it was creepy just the same. Even in front of the police station, the mob was gone. Where was everyone?

She wondered if they were all in their homes, frightened now that the curse was broken, but they were not back home. Through their eyes, the world was probably just as upside down as it was to her. If what she saw in Henry’s storybook, these people were used to something a lot less modern than what they had in Storybrooke. The Enchanted Forest looked more like it was in the Middle Ages or something like that; history was not her best subject in high school. The people were probably time-shocked. Or so she hoped.

Of course, there were other, darker possibilities. They could be out living like it was the other world or plotting something. She had already seen their darker side when they formed a lynch mob to go after Regina and were actually surprised that she stopped them from getting “justice.” She was not sure what to expect for them anymore. _But, it can’t get any weirder, right? Careful, Swan. Those could be famous last words._

-8-8-8-8-

Regina sighed when Miss Swan finally left. She did not understand that woman. She was not sure what she was playing at. The sheriff seemed genuinely worried about her and honestly wanted her to stay alive. _Why? What does she get out of my living? Henry would be hers once I die. Of course, he seems to be hers now._

Regina shook those thoughts away. She did not want to think Henry had totally forsaken her. She needed to live for him, even if he did not know it. _Even though Miss Swan seems to know it_. Again, Regina wondered what the sheriff gained from her survival. Why was Emma so interested in her living?

“It has to be a trick,” she was certain, but no tricks came to mind. She blamed this one the fact that her mind was hazy from her earlier injuries. She should not be focusing on those questions anyway. She had other things to worry about.

She wanted to get up and read through her books, search for a cure, but it felt like her guts were going through a meat grinder. Gritting her teeth, tears gathered in her eyes. She tried to wait for it to pass, but she needed the painkillers that Doctor Termaine prescribed to her or she knew she would pass out. It was the only thing that got her off the chaise and the only thing keeping her on her feet was the idea that she did not want Sheriff Swan to find her unconscious on the floor yet again.

Somehow, she managed to stay conscious long enough to take the painkillers. It did not halt the agony, but dulled it just enough for her to make it back to her office. She was tempted to go back onto the sofa and ease her burning muscles, but she needed to research. She needed to live.

So, stumbling to the floor, she gathered the books that she had and began flipping through them once more. There were tons more at her crypt, but she would not be able to carry them right now. Maybe when the painkillers took full effect, she would be able to make another trip out and carry more books.

“Or I suppose if the sheriff returns, I can use her as a pack mule. Surely they have the same intelligence level,” Regina muttered to herself. The idea of the blonde assisting her, even with something menial, caused two emotions to go through her. First, she felt like she always did, as if she did not need any help. But, some of the other part of her, a part she thought she had surgically removed with years of independence and control, warmed at the idea of having help. Warmed to the idea that someone seemed to want her to live, wanted to help her live. She did not know what to do with that. _No, Miss Swan is just playing at something. I’m sure of it_.

The notion left her as she began coughing and she needed paper towels to catch the blood. There were some resting on her desk, but they were almost gone. She would also have the sheriff buy more after she retrieved the books.

She refused to let the fact that she was still coughing up blood stop her from going through her codices. She was just careful, but even then did not care much if blood splattered on the pages. So what they were ancient texts? If she did not live, someone would probably just use them for firewood unless Gold got to them first.

Once she began reading, she got lost in her research, even as she felt the effects of a fever starting. She sweated and her vision blurred. Rubbing her eyes and shaking her head, she managed to fight it off and keep reading. She did not hear the door open, but it must have because she could see what appeared to be the sheriff. It was hard to tell because Miss Swan was mostly a blur of blonde hair from a distance.

“Shit, Regina, you look like crap again,” the sheriff remarked, coming closer.

Regina wondered if suddenly being near-sighted was also part of her new disease because once the blonde drew closer, her image cleared up. The irksome blonde kneeled before her, touching her forehead.

“You’re burning up, you know that?” Miss Swan asked.

“Just get ice. I need to keep reading,” Regina insisted.

There was no argument. Regina could only wonder why the insufferable sheriff was so invested in her living. Surely her death would make life that much easier for Miss Swan, especially in taking Henry. She wanted to ask, but she did not want the answers right now. She just wanted to use the sheriff for the moment to try to fix her current problem while she had the assistance.

Sheriff Swan returned with ice wrapped in a dish towel and pressed it to Regina’s forehead. _Oh, god!_ She had not expected that to feel so good, but it felt good enough to make her moan. The blonde did not say anything about the noise, just trying to cover Regina’s forehead with the brilliant ice.

“You find anything?” the sheriff asked in a low tone, almost like she was scared to find out. Her tone made Regina once again wonder why she was being so helpful.

“Nothing that helps. I’ve come across basics, but nothing that would allow me to cure this right this moment.” Regina held in a sigh. She would not be defeated.

The blonde nodded. “What have you come across? I mean, we don’t have to cure you right this moment, right? You’ve got a couple of months now.”

Regina frowned and pushed a book away from her. “I could have a couple of centuries and I couldn’t do something like create the philosopher’s stone in order to beat this thing!” She needed new books, better books.

Green eyes blinked, like an owl. Henry used to do the same thing when he was younger and discovered something he thought was impossible. “The philosopher’s stone?”

“Yes, that is also ‘a thing,’ as you like to say. Unfortunately, it is pretty impossible to create. I suspect Maggie’s potion was the start of it, but only a few have finished it and those people are nowhere to be found.”

“Can Morgan make the whole thing?”

Regina arched an eyebrow. “Morgan?”

Miss Swan shrugged. “That’s what she told me to call her. She actually seemed pretty pissed when I called her Maggie.”

Regina grunted. She supposed “Maggie” would prefer something closer to her true name. It made no difference to her.

“Morgan cannot create the stone as far as I know and I do not have time for that, even if she could. It takes years, according to all of the ancient texts. We need other books,” Regina stated.

There was a nod and the sheriff looked around. “Others not in this room?”

“Brilliantly assumed. Others in my father’s crypt. We can make the journey later tonight,” Regina said.

Again, there was no argument. “Yeah, so, until then, why don’t we eat something and you rest up?”

“I’m not dead yet, Miss Swan,” Regina growled.

“No, but you’re sweating bullets and you melted the ice already. I think that means you need to lie down,” the sheriff stated.

It was Regina’s turn not to argue. She felt nauseous suddenly and dived for the nearest trashcan. She was sick long enough for her stomach to cramp up and for her to feel lightheaded. She could not even get up. The sheriff lifted her up bridal style and laid her down on the chaise.

“I’ll make some sandwiches and stuff,” the sheriff offered.

Regina groaned, unable to answer as blood pooled into her mouth. By the time that cleared up, the sheriff was gone. Again, she wondered what game the sheriff was playing, but she could not ponder the question for long. Her whole body ached, like the pain of having her skin ripped off. Her muscles jumped and burned as if fire danced down her nerves.

Taking deep breaths, she was able to remain conscious. The sheriff showed up not long after with grilled cheese sandwiches. This was what her son would have to deal with soon, grilled cheeses for lunch. He would probably love it. She would roll over in her grave every time he had one.

“It’s not bad, right?” the blonde asked, talking with her mouth full.

“Please, don’t do that in front of Henry,” Regina requested. _I’ll probably be doing a lot of spinning in my grave once this one has Henry_. Part of her dared to think that Emma’s slips of childishness was slightly adorable. Of course, she blamed that bit of madness on the curse. _Great, I’ll also get to go insane during this month or two of life_.

Regina could only eat half of it and that half she threw up not even a half-hour later. It was not that it was bad or did not taste good. Her stomach just rejected it, as she had a feeling it would do with any other food. She was not sure how she would make it a month through just the retching and considering the fact that blood oozed out of her body almost every ten minutes, she could not see how she would last longer than that. So, she needed to figure out how to beat this thing because sheer force of will did not seem to be working.

“You didn’t like it?” the sheriff asked once Regina was done with spilling her lunch into the wastebasket. The look in her eyes, as if she felt bad for making something Regina probably did not like, made Regina pause.

“My stomach…” Regina replied, as if that explained everything.

Nodding, somehow the blonde seemed to understand. “I get like that when I’m sick.”

Regina should have snapped at Emma for acting like she had the flu and not a death curse, but she could not drudge up the words. Instead, she spit rather unladylike into the garbage, wanting to get the taste of vomit out of her mouth. Silently, Emma offered her a stick of gum. Regina had never chewed gum before, but she would have chewed tree bark if it meant getting that taste out of her mouth. Once the awful taste was gone, the gum went into the trash.

Taking a deep breath, Regina picked herself up off of the sofa. “Come on. We need to go to the crypt.”

“Are you sure you can move? I can go by myself,” the sheriff said.

“And would you know what books to take? I think not. This is only day two of this. If I can’t handle it now, I’ll be dead before next week,” Regina replied.

Emma scrunched up her face and then helped Regina off the chaise. They left out the back door and walked off into the cold night. It felt like the air cut through her, but Regina ignored that. Regina would have liked to make the trip in silence, but she was not surprised that Miss Swan did not share her sentiment.

“You know, the town’s been like a ghost town since the curse broke. Is that normal?” the blonde asked.

Regina frowned. “I have no idea what normal is right now considering the fact that normal for me has become coughing up blood, running high fevers, and feeling like my muscles are being run through a shredder. So, forgive me for not giving a damn about what is normal for these cretins.”

“You know, maybe if you did give a damn, you wouldn’t be in this condition,” the sheriff snapped.

Regina growled. _Here it goes. The condescension of a Charming_. “Don’t talk like you know about it. In fact, don’t talk at all.” She watched Miss Swan frown and waited for her to storm off, as she sincerely expected the blonde to do.

Surprisingly enough, the sheriff did not abandon Regina right then and there. The blonde clearly wanted something from her, but Regina was not sure what at this point. She would try to figure that out while trying to save herself. Perhaps she could exploit this new weakness of Miss Swan’s to help her get her son back.

-8-8-8-8-

After a week of research and coming up short, Regina had to face facts for the moment. She would not live long enough to exploit whatever weakness it was that had Miss Swan helping her and they needed to tell Henry.

“Do you know what you’re going to say to him?” the sheriff asked, sitting across from Regina on the couch, as she had every day for the past seven days.

The sheriff had gone above and beyond for reasons Regina still could not figure out. She iced Regina’s fevered body, massaged her sore muscles, made her soup (sure it was from a can, but she read somewhere that it was the thought that counted) with the hope that she would keep it down, and gave her ginger ale in the hopes that it would settle her always rebelling stomach. The question of why was always at the tip of Regina’s tongue, but she never asked. She told herself that the sheriff would not give her the truth, but part of her knew she feared the response.

“I do not know,” Regina sighed, running her hand through her hair. “How has he been through all of this?”

Emma shrugged. “He’s been hanging out with David, who’s been showing him how to sword fight and stuff. I’m not sure if he even realizes what’s going on.” She rubbed her furrowed brow and frowning tensely. She looked confused, almost grief-stricken.

Regina wondered if that was part of the reason why the sheriff was suddenly glued to her side. Emma Swan might be trying to figure out how to be a mother, how to take care of Henry. Regina scowled. She would have to teach this woman in whatever time she had left, but first, she needed to tell Henry.

“Will you bring him here?” Regina requested.

“I’ll go get him now,” she replied and rubbed her head again. Regina hoped that helped the sheriff think because she would need all of her brain soon enough.

-8-8-8-8-

“Why are we at my mom’s house?” Henry asked curiously as Emma pulled up to the Mayoral Mansion. He scowled as he regarded his home and hugged his book bag to him.

“Look, Henry, you and your mom need to talk and you have to keep an open mind about what you see in there, okay?” Emma replied and she did not idea what she meant by that. _But, seriously, how the hell do you prep your kid to look at his dying mother? Especially when that kid is all caught up in this fairy tale bullshit and having a good time with this grandparents – Snow White and Prince Charming._

In other words, Henry had been having a good time in this curse-free Storybrooke, even while the residents were freaking out over the fact that they could not cross the town line and had no way to get home. David had been teaching him “the ways of the old world,” which included sword fighting and horseback riding. Things Emma had managed to avoid her entire life and she would like to keep that streak going. She had been dodging David’s offers to join them by pointing out she had work.

Work so far seemed pretty normal, but then again, she spent a lot of her time with Regina for the week. When she was out and about, people bothered her about the border, having the nerve to ask her why the curse did not fully break. How the hell should she know?! They were the ones from magic land, after all. Henry’s voice drew her out of her crazed thoughts.

“Emma, what are you talking about? And why is Mom at home? I mean, she’s the Evil Queen. Shouldn’t she be in a dungeon?” Henry pointed out.

Emma rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because there are dungeons just all across Storybrooke.” Of course, there might be considering there was a freaking dragon under the library.

His forehead wrinkled in curiosity. “So, is she on house arrest?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she answered because she was not sure how else to put it. She doubted he understood what “house arrest” was because if he did, he would not be so calm about it. He probably did not totally understand the concept of a dungeon either if he wanted his mother to be there. She had been around kids who had parents in jail and none of them were cool with the idea or suggested their parents should be there, even when it was clear their parents deserved it.

He gave her one of his confused looks, scrunching up his face and staring at her hard. Sighing, she shook her head and got out of the car. He followed her. They entered the house and he gagged.

“What is that smell?” he inquired, putting his hand over his mouth.

She had spent the better part of a week here, so she was used to it – the smell of blood and vomit. She hoped Regina was not lying in a pool of sweat and some other body fluid. Henry might be in denial, but he did not need to be sobered up like that. They entered the living room and Emma was surprised to find Regina sitting up in an armchair, looking quite regal. _All she needs is a crown and Henry might run from the room_.

“Henry,” Regina breathed and a bright, genuine grin lit up her face. _She needs to smile more often. She looks beautiful, approachable, and happy_.

“Hey, Mom,” Henry mumbled, staying close to Emma. He did not look at her, toeing an imaginary pebble on the floor.

Regina locked eyes with Emma, who shoved Henry forward just a little. “Go sit with your mom, kid.”

Henry glanced up at Emma and then marched forward, like he was going to his execution. Emma wondered if she should have prepared him more, prepared him point blank, but she did not know how, did not know what to say. This is why Regina needed to stay alive. She did not know how to be a mother to a kid, especially this kid, who was awesome no doubt. He was smart and polite. He would not have been those things without Regina. Emma was certain that she would ruin everything Regina instilled in him for those ten years.

“Henry, please, come close. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to talk,” Regina tried to assure him. She held her hand out for him, which he did not take. Regina somehow managed to keep sitting up straight, but she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment.

“So, talk,” Henry said, folding his arms across his chest. He stood before her defiantly, holding his chin up high.

Regina winced. It was possibly from pain, but more likely from his cold shoulder. Emma knew that usually Regina would have gone to him, kneeled before him, but she probably could not get out of that chair and stay on her feet. Regina was trying to put on a strong front for Henry, trying to freak him out the least. Emma feared by the end of this Regina would be the one freaking out.

“Henry, I need you to know that I’m… sick,” Regina said, as normally as possible. It was almost like she was asking him to pick up his shoes.

Henry openly scoffed. “Yeah, right. You look fine to me.” Now, Emma winced. He sounded like a brat.

Regina took a breath. “Henry, please—”

He stomped his foot and threw his hands out. “No! No more lies! You think if you tell me you’re sick I’m going to forget everything else you did! You took me from my family!” he screamed and then he dashed out, bolting out of the back door as Emma blocked his path to the front.

“Henry!” Regina cried and she flung herself out of the chair. She took one step and collapsed onto one knee. Growling, she pushed herself up and managed to run out of the room.

Emma followed behind mother and son. Henry was out the door and Regina fell as coughs wrecked her small body. Emma fell to her side and found not only was Regina coughing, but she was also sobbing.

“He will actually hate me until the day I die,” Regina whispered. Emma had a feeling that was a fate worse than death for Regina.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Regina gets her affairs in order.


	6. Stages of grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

6: Stages of grief

Emma sighed when she arrived home, having left Regina’s house after making sure the former mayor – wait, was she the former mayor or still the mayor? – was all right. Of course, Regina was far from all right since Henry declared her a liar when she tried to tell him that she was dying and then ran off without any concern for Regina. The only reason Emma left was because Regina actually cried herself to sleep, which had been a horrifying sight and a couple of times Emma thought she was being punk’d. Now, she had to deal with Henry. Well, if he was home anyway.

There was always a chance that Henry had gone somewhere else. Maybe to his castle or some other place to think and be alone. She would search for him if necessary, especially since she really did not want him wandering the town right now. While nothing dangerous had happened, not counting Regina being cursed anyway, she did not want him to be out on his own if something suddenly did happen.

“Hey, kid,” Emma called as she stepped into the loft. The very tiny loft. It felt like they were all on top of each other, even when only two of them were there. She knew it was just her mind messing with her because she did not feel that way when it was just her and Mary Margaret, but that did not make it any better. Now, there were four of them packed in together and Emma had to fight back having flashbacks of some of her foster homes.

“Emma, where have you been?” Snow White demanded, coming out of the kitchen with a worried look etched on her face. Again, Emma had to fight off foster home flashbacks.

“With Regina,” Emma answered as if that was obvious and waved it off. _Where the hell else have I been this week?_

“Emma, you need to stay away from her. You don’t know what she’s capable of,” Snow White insisted with an imploring look on her face, but not the familiar imploring look of Emma’s friend. Her eyes seemed to demand Emma just listen to her and do what she said.

 _Damn, I miss Mary Margaret_. Emma was not enjoying having a woman her age trying to mother her, especially right now. She did not need a mother and she felt a little stupid for wanting one considering how nagging Snow White came across. Emma knew all about spotting someone dangerous. She made a living at it and she had fine-tuned the skill while she was in prison. Regina was not capable of damn thing anymore, except maybe drowning in her own blood.

“She’s the Evil Queen, Emma!” Henry chimed in from his spot on the sofa. “And she’s probably lying to you.” He locked eyes with her and she could see that he believed that was true.

“She’s not lying, kid. Your mom is freaking dying and she just wanted to have a moment with you!” Emma huffed, throwing her arm out. For all of his awesomeness, right now, Emma just thought Henry was a spoiled brat. His mother was dying. This woman who had taken him in, raised him, and loved him was dying and he just called her liar, probably help killing her just that much faster. _It is definitely not good parenting when you think your own kid is acting like a douche bag when he’s not even a teenager yet_. _What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?_

“She probably just cast some spell to fool you!” Henry insisted, hitting the sofa.

Emma growled, hating magic even more now. It was like the answer to every question, questions that she did not even ask. It was sickening. She turned to Snow White, hoping the teacher would back her up. Snow White glanced down and did not speak.

“Unbelievable. You’re seriously just going to stand here and not tell him that Regina’s not faking?” Emma asked.

Snow White shrugged. “She could be lying. I’ve seen her change to look like someone else, so maybe she’s using magic to fake this. People do fake being sick, especially to get sympathy and she could be doing that.”

Henry smiled, looking smug. Emma scowled. What the hell was wrong with them? Regina would not fake looking so sickly and undignified. Regina would not fake throwing up on herself. If Regina was looking for sympathy, she would definitely do something that allowed her to avoid appearing so… plain gross.

“Gold admitted to cursing Regina. She’s dying and she needs you there, Henry,” Emma said. _You need to enjoy her while you can or you’re going to feel like shit for the rest of your life, kid_. Emma knew a few things about regret and she knew Henry would regret treating his mother this way when she died.

Henry laughed. “Emma, she’s lying. That’s what she does. This is the same woman that made me think I was crazy and she tried to poison you. Come on!” He gave her a look as if calling her an idiot. _Wow, that is a good impersonation of Regina there, kid_.

While he had two very good points, Emma knew Regina was not faking it. She would have to try to work on Henry a little while later because he seemed very insistent on sticking to his theory and she knew how he was when he thought he was right. She doubted it would be good for him to think his mom was a liar and then a month later she die from this “lie.” Archie would have his work cut out for him if that was the case.

“Emma, I wanted to talk to you about something,” Snow White said, trying to lead Emma away from the living room. She touched Emma’s arm and Emma pulled away.

“Yeah, don’t.” Emma did not finish her sentence. She really did not want Snow White touching her. Everything about this new woman reminded her that her friend was gone and Mary Margaret was not coming back. It was worse than if Mary Margaret died. She did not even know how to mourn what happened to her friend, did not know how to respond to this woman wearing Mary Margaret’s face.

Snow White flinched. “Emma,” she whimpered.

“And don’t look at me like that, like it’s my fault,” Emma stated with a frown. _I wasn’t the one that left! I didn’t make that choice!_

“Why are you still so angry? We had to do it,” Snow White insisted. Emma half-expected her to stomp her foot.

“No, you have to breathe air, you have to pay taxes, and you have to die eventually, but those are the only things you _have_ to do in this life. You _chose_ to put me in a tree and leave me to whatever the hell might happen and this is what you have for it,” Emma huffed.

She stomped off to her room before Snow White could finish. She honestly did not care to hear whatever the princess – or queen or whatever the hell she was – had to say. Snow had spent the better part of the week trying to convince her why it was such a great thing that they had stuck her in a magic tree and magically transported her to this world, which also magically made her an orphan and screwed up her life. _God, I hate magic!_

As far as Emma was concerned, magic was the root of all evil. It had ruined her life, almost taken her son, and it was wasting Regina away. She was only more irritated when David came in and tried to talk to her. She just pretended to be asleep. Not a permanent solution, or even a good one, but it worked for the moment. She heard her… parents – she was tempted to stop even thinking of them like that right now – and Henry all talking for a while. She did not try to make out what they were saying, but some things she just heard.

“I don’t understand why she’s so upset,” David said.

“Yeah, she broke the Curse, after all. You guys did the right thing,” Henry chimed in. Why the hell they were having that conversation with him around was beyond Emma, but then again, she was certain that she had some inappropriate conversations around the kid as well.

“It’s not so simple. We left her,” Snow pointed out.

 _No, it was more than just left me_. They had done something so much worse and she could not even qualify it. Worse yet, it felt like they were still doing it. By keeping the truth from Henry and by acting as if her pain was her fault, they continued to do worse to her. _At least Regina had a legitimate gripe with me. I mean, didn’t I do something similar here, just walk in, assume she didn’t love Henry, and then try to act like his parent? They’re acting like I’m the crazy one for being pissed that they won’t even acknowledge what they did was fucked up and now they’re trying to be my parents when I don’t need them_.

 _But, you want them,_ a horrible, evil voice in her head whispered. She wanted parents, but she just was not ready to accept them yet. Something told her Henry was going through something similar with Regina. _Maybe I need to get onboard before they die_. And considering there was magic about and magic sucked, she might need to get over her anger soon.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina sat at the desk in her office, wearing a simple black camisole. She had woken up that morning to find the skin on her arms and stomach dried, cracked, irritated, and peeling. It would not have been so bad, but it itched like Hell and she found it was worse when she tried to cover it with a shirt. So, she had forgone a shirt. She would not need one anyway. She had no plans to go any farther than her home office for the moment and it was not like anyone would be paying her a visit.

Thinking lotion might help, she had attempted to lotion her arms. Of course, as soon as it touched her flesh, it burned as if she had poured acid on her skin. So, she just left it alone.

She had made an attempt to go downstairs for something to eat, but the thought of food made her stomach turn. After taking care of a nosebleed, she managed to make it to her office. There, she pulled out important documents in her safe and began working. She was not sure what was going on outside, but she knew that the legal documents would mean something to Miss Swan, especially if no one figured out how to get back to the old world. _As long as Emma has legal standing here, this will be fine. If they do manage to get back to the old world, I’m sure she’ll figure out how to take care of Henry as well_.

“Or so I hope,” she muttered. “How sad is it that I’m hanging my hat once more on hope when all this has done is ruined me further? Curse the gods for not keeping that frightful thing tucked away.” She then turned her attention back to her work.

First, she made sure Henry’s birth certificate, social security card, and other important items were together and bound them in a folder. Next, she hand wrote a will. She just wanted to get her thoughts in order as to what would be needed. Her will did not really need to be amended as everything went to Henry anyway, but she now wanted to make sure his guardian would be taken care of too or she feared something could go wrong. Of course, something would probably go wrong anyway.

“It’s not like Miss Swan is the most responsible person on Earth,” Regina muttered. Not to mention, it was not like Regina was the luckiest person on Earth. She was certain that trend would continue even in death.

But, she did not want Henry to feel like things never went his way. She would give Henry what he wanted and make sure that the sheriff got custody of him, but that was only because she did not have any other option. She could have gone with the cricket, but his undying loyalty to Snow White prevented her from making that leap. While the sheriff might be annoying, irresponsible, and had many other horrible Charming qualities, she was her own agent. She proved that by showing up time and time again to check on her, even though Regina knew Snow White and her pretender-to-the-throne had to be doing all they could to stop the sheriff from coming.

She still had not figured out why Miss Swan cared enough to check on her. “It doesn’t make any sense,” she muttered. “But, it doesn’t matter. She comes, she stays. More than anyone else has done, ever. She’ll do right by Henry, or at least she’ll try to.”

Best of all, Regina knew the sheriff would take Henry away from this madness if things got tough. While the blonde might indulge Henry’s adventurous side, if things got truly out of hand, she would do the best for him. She just had to make sure Emma understood that was what she needed to always do. In order to be a good mother, Emma had to put Henry first.

This was another thing on her “to do” list or “bucket list,” whichever it counted as. She needed to impart as much knowledge of motherhood on Emma as possible because while Henry might not believe it, knowing how to take care of a child did not suddenly show up with the child. Nor did it show up if the mother ran from her problems, as the sheriff was prone to do. She needed to make the sheriff understand everything she needed to do to ensure Henry grew up into the brilliant young man she knew he would.

“He has so much greatness in him. I didn’t mean to push him away, but then again, I’m sure Mother didn’t mean to do the same with me,” Regina sighed.

Tears stung her eyes as she realized she would not live to see Henry become a man. Even if he hated her, she would have liked to see him as a man, see him reach his full potential. She was certain he would do big things, bigger than he had already done in helping break the Dark Curse. She would try her best to make amends with him in the time she had, just so that he would think of her on occasion when he was older. At this moment, her greatest fear was not what this illness would do to her, but Henry thinking she lied and not forgiving her even after her death.

“I just need…” She needed Henry to know he was loved. Beyond anything else, she needed him to know she loved him with everything she had inside of her.

A sharp pain tore through her chest, distracting her from her thoughts. Falling forward, she banged her head against her desk. This was the new relationship between her and her desk. The damned thing would be the death of her. She heard the crack, but oddly enough did not feel it at first. There was a high-pitched ringing in her ears before it turned into a pounding headache. It felt like her whole head was going to explode. Even her teeth hurt. Fearing blood would get on her documents, she managed to move her head to an empty spot.

Hissing, she inhaled, trying to draw the pain into one place that she could then exhale it all out. Of course, that did not work. Gritting her teeth, she reached a shaky hand into her pocket and pulled out her painkillers. She had already taken one when she woke up, but she did not care if she went over the prescribe amount. She would not be alive long enough to get addicted to the damn things.

She was not sure how long she laid there, but eventually the pain faded. She was not sure if it was the painkillers or just enough time had passed for things to be bearable again. It was a kick in the ass for her, though.

“I need to make sure she knows everything to take care of Henry,” Regina growled and lifted herself back up. She moved onto a new list, needing to make sure she had a clear picture of everything Emma would need to know to not only take care of Henry, but make him happy.

As she wrote more frantically, she noticed the cracks on her skin began to break open. Thin streams of blood poured down her arms. Though the cuts were thin, they felt like they went down to the bone and tugged on every nerve ending while doing so. Writing was an agonizing, tough task, but she pressed on. Henry would need these things and she would provide them, wasting curse be damned.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma finished her rounds, finding the town to be “normalizing” as she liked to look at it. People were slowly accepting that this was life and going back to doing the things they did during the Dark Curse. Of course, there were some people that just would not get on board with that, but enough of Storybrooke understood they were in the real world for the town to function. Emma guessed they were trying to make the best of things, but she really did not care. As long as they did not make her life more difficult than it was and they did not break the law, they could do whatever the hell came to mind.

She had other problems, though. Her parents were number one and two. She was not sure if she wanted to bother with them or not. Yes, she always wanted parents, but she was sick of them trying to justify abandoning her. She felt used by them, born only to break the stupid curse. It was like they had a kid just because one of them needed a kidney. And they just expected her to understand and accept them. They looked at her like something was wrong with her because she did not get it. No, they did not get it!

“I’m not wrong here. It’s them. It’s them. It’s them,” she chanted because she feared if she did not remind herself then one day she would start to believe it was her. She knew about that sort of brainwashing from her many foster homes, where something was repeated enough for a person to just accept it as truth, but she thought it might happen sooner here or worse here. Magic might make her believe it was her or magic might make her believe it was all right.

Shaking that away, Emma consciously decided not to dwell on her problems. She was here and that was that. Besides, some people had worse problems. After all, Regina was still very much dying, literally wasting away right before Emma’s eyes. Each day it was easier and easier to pick Regina up and just carry her any place when she objected to going there herself.

Emma parked down the street from Regina’s house and grabbed a duffle bag with “supplies.” People did not seem to know she was there, but they had taken to defacing the mansion. Breaking many of the windows, which Emma was going to board up today to make sure no one did see Regina moving around. Regina was in no shape to defend herself should another mob show up.

Beyond the windows, the white house was covered in spray paint, mostly derogatory names directed toward Regina. Her potted plants by the columns of the front door had been knocked over and shattered. The bushes hacked up. One of the columns even looked like someone had taken a bite out of it. Topping off the mess, someone seemed to think the house could use some eggs to liven it up. Emma hoped no one was watching the house and they just came by on impulse to destroy it.

“Regina?” Emma called as she entered the house through the back door.

Putting the bag down, she marched into the living room and hoped that Regina was sleeping on the couch. Most of the time, Regina was passed out on the floor, nose bleeding and sweating a puddle. Looking around, she did not see any signs of Regina behind a pile of books that had undoubtedly offended the dying witch because the pages were torn out. She had grown used to Regina’s tantrums before this incident, so she did not even bat an eye to it, just continued searching.

Going upstairs, she entered the office, which smelled of vomit and bourbon. Regina was on the floor, dressed in her pajamas, showing broken skin. Her arms bled and blood streamed down her bare feet. Emma gathered Regina in her arms and checked for a fever.

“Well, at least you’re not burning up,” Emma muttered as she laid Regina down on her chaise.

Taking a moment, Emma just looked at Regina. Along with her cracked skin, Regina had a red, flaky rash along her arms, the visible part of her chest, and up her neck. It looked like it beyond itched, more like it hurt, like it pulled her skin. Regina winced in her sleep and moved.

“Miss Swan,” Regina mumbled, opening her eyes halfway. Even at just half-mast, Emma could see Regina’s eyes were bloodshot. She hoped that was from the alcohol and not another symptom of the curse.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

A small smile settled on Regina’s exhausted face. Emma was not sure what to make of that. Regina could be smiling from a number of things, perhaps a good memory, a decent dream, or even still having a nice buzz from whatever she had been drinking.

“Do you need anything?” Emma asked to avoid thinking about why the mayor might be smiling.

“Sh… shopping,” Regina answered.

Emma smiled. Regina wanted her to go shopping, which probably meant Regina wanted food, which meant that Regina was hungry. Regina had not been eating much of anything since this whole curse thing and whatever she did eat, she tended to throw up minutes later. Appetite had to be a good thing, though.

“You want to go shopping?” Emma asked.

Regina shook her head and took a deep breath before sitting up. It took over a minute, but Emma just waited patiently. Regina sighed, leaning forward on her knees.

“I made a list,” she finally said.

Emma arched an eyebrow. “Oh, you want me to go shopping?”

“Yes. You can take my wallet. It’s…” Regina’s eyes drifted and she lost track of what she was saying. This was a first.

“It’s?” Emma tried to prompt the smaller woman.

“It’s…” Regina looked up at the sheriff, squinting, as if searching Emma’s face. “What was I saying?”

“You were telling me where your wallet is. You want me to go shopping,” Emma explained. _Oh, god, is she going to get dementia, too? I don’t think I can handle that_.

Regina shook her head. “Right. I think I need to take another painkiller.”

Emma’s eyes scanned for the pill bottle, but did not see it. “I hope you’re not taking them with alcohol.” She could only wonder how much Regina drank for the whole place to smell like a bar.

“No, but it doesn’t really matter. Anyway, my wallet is on the desk, in my purse, next to the list,” Regina said, flicking her wrist toward her desk.

Emma turned her attention to the desk and saw why the room smelled of bourbon; Regina spilled a glass, a full freaking glass, on her desk. Regina’s purse was on the edge, sitting in a pool of alcohol. _Is there a ‘doesn’t give a fuck’ stage of grief?_ If there was, Regina was definitely there. She grabbed the wallet sitting at the top and noticed the list by the bag. Thankfully, it was dry.

“Holy shit, Regina. What the hell is this? You don’t have a list. This is a freaking scroll!” Emma declared. The long paper even curled at the end, hiding even more items. _I’m not even surprised she had freaking parchment lying around. I feel like I’m on a quest looking for Zelda_.

“We need a great many things,” Regina informed her in a strong voice. She seemed to be having a moment of feeling better, which she had every now and then.

“Clearly. You want to buy out the store? You’re not going to be able to eat all of this, even if I help,” Emma pointed out.

Regina waved that off. “Just go purchase everything on that list and then make your way back here. We have much to do.”

Emma’s forehead wrinkled. “What the hell do we have to do?” Whenever she was over, all she did was help Regina when the symptoms got too much because she could not read most of the books Regina had to help with the research. Apparently, they were written in… elfin; she mentally groaned. _Of course, elfin is a thing. Because magic is a thing and magical cancer is a thing and where the fuck is Frodo with his goddamn fellowship when you need him?_

“Can you just go, Miss Swan? We don’t have time for this. I will explain when you return,” Regina said, almost dismissively.

Emma was able to let it go because Regina said she would explain later. Before, Regina never would have thought to do such a thing. Besides, the dismissiveness was almost normal for them. It warmed her to have just a little taste of their normalcy. It did not seem like a panicked front or resignation like the people in town. It felt like just them.

So, Emma picked up the wallet. “Do I pay with cash or credit card?”

“Be safe and use cash. I doubt they will let you buy anything if they think it’s going to help me. I’m not sure how much cash I have, but my bank card number is the year Henry was born,” Regina replied.

Emma almost fell over from the ease with which Regina gave up her pin number. It just reminded her that Regina was dying. Magic was winning, always winning, and normal was facade, like what the people of the town were putting up. Emma hated to think it, but maybe when Regina died, she would just take the kid and go back to Boston, back to normal. Of course, even that would not be normal since she would have a kid. _And what the hell would I do with a kid?_

Regina could not die just because Emma knew she could not take care of Henry alone. She could not handle all of this – whatever the hell “this” was – on her own. She needed Regina to stay.

“Why does everybody leave?” Emma wondered with a sniffle.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina could tell Emma had no clue what was going on. Emma was living on impulse, basic reaction functions of her brain. She could not help thinking that Emma was being much more affected by her creeping demise than she should. Regina never expected someone to care that she was dying and Emma’s actions touched something inside of her that she was making an effort to ignore. Instead, she thought of more logical and familiar sensations that Emma dredged up. Part of Regina actually wished she would live long enough to exploit Emma, but that was just some desperate part of her that wanted more time and she was very aware of that.

“There won’t be more time, so I just have to prepare her and maybe be happy that someone might actually mourn my death for at least a day. Someone will wear black for me, maybe even bury me by my father,” Regina said and this brought a smile to her face. Yes, she was dying, but there were people on the other side, waiting for her. She might not get to be with them, but she would not be alone, not like she was here.

Still, she regretted that she would not be able to make things right with Henry. Well, not with him personally. She could be his mother until the end, though, which was why Miss Swan was out shopping.

“I need to get up and get other things prepared,” Regina said, gritting her teeth. It should not be such a struggle to stand, but it was to the point that it actually winded her. She pressed on, though. There were things to do.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Emma gets cooking lessons from Regina, among other things.


	7. Everyone’s savior

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

7: Everyone’s savior

“Why the hell is this list so freaking long?” Emma grumbled as she pulled up to the bank and trotted to the ATM.

She checked around before she used Regina’s card. In the past couple of days, even though things were calming down, some people had done a few stupid things, like trying the sheriff’s patience by with stupid crimes like purse-snatching, pick-pocketing, and similar things. While she did not carry a purse, and those two idiots that thought burglary was funny were in jail, she still wanted to be careful.

Checking the list again and looking at the length, she figured it would be best to take out a few hundred dollars. She had a feeling Regina was good for it. She hoped the card did not have a limit because she might need to go passed it.

“And, of course, there is no limit or it’s pretty high because Regina’s bank is freaking awesome,” Emma muttered, mostly to amuse herself as she pocketed the cash.

With that out of the way, now she just needed to hope the supermarket was open. It had been open yesterday, but two days before that it had been closed like the owner was never coming back. Not too interested in fairy tale politics, she was not sure who convinced the owner to open back up or how, but it was nice to have some place to buy junk food again. Honestly, sooner or later, she would have shot someone if she could not get a goddamn twinkie.

The store was open and Emma grabbed a cart, filling it to the brim for the first time in her life. She could not imagine what Regina thought she was going to do with so much food. She could not see how any sick person would consume so much food. But, she did as she was told.

While she shopped, she smiled politely at people moving about her. She did not know them, but they sometimes smiled back. She thought it was the thing to do in a small town and, hopefully, assure people that things would be fine. Sometimes it worked and other times…

“If you’re supposed to be the Savior, shouldn’t you be figuring out how the hell to get us out of here and back home?” a woman demanded, blocking Emma’s path.

“Right now, I’m trying to figure out how the hell I managed to not shoot you yet. It’s baffling,” Emma remarked. Bullshit like this happened more often than Emma liked, but really once was too often. Where did these people get off? Questions like this kept her from going into the office because she did not want to hear these calls or have people come in asking her stuff like this.

The woman made a sour face, like she was genuinely offended. Emma felt like her work there was done, so she pushed passed the woman. This was not the first time she had been confronted like this and she doubted it would be the last, but these people needed to understand that she could not care less about “the old world” if she tried. This whole “savior” thing was getting old.

“Their shit is their own,” Emma muttered. At some point, they needed to take care of themselves and stop waiting for someone to save them. She learned that at a young age, so now they needed to figure it out.

Once everything was brought and bagged, Emma climbed back into her car and decided to put on her “mom” hat for a moment. She might need to get used to wearing it, so best to try it on while she could still mess up a little with Regina around to fix it.

Henry was hanging out with his new best buddy – David. Henry seemed to love David, affectionately calling him “gramps” without skipping a beat while Emma could barely look at the man. The fact that Henry liked being around his… grandfather so much actually cut into her time with him. She just could not be around David right now. She could barely stand to look at Snow White.

The pair was in the park, playing knights again. Emma sat in the car, but watched for a while. Henry grinned widely the whole time, like a kid whose life was going exactly the way he wanted it. She wished she could pass the whole “savior” to Henry now that the danger had passed. He seemed like he was all gung-ho about this fairy tale crap. It did not even seem to notice that the world around him charged, beyond it being shiny and new.

“I just hope there aren’t a million visits to Doctor Hopper in his future,” Emma muttered and then she glanced back at the grocery bags in the car. There was probably no getting around those visits to Doctor Hopper soon. She decided to take a few pictures of him from a distance. _Regina will probably like to see that he’s fine and smiling_. Then she thought of Regina’s last encounter with Henry and she winced. _Or maybe not. I guess I’ll have to play that by ear_.

She was extremely tempted to get out and hang out with the kid, but she was not ready to be around David for that long. Yeah, he was her dad and, yeah, he did not seem like a bad guy, but he liked backing up Snow White whenever the topic of her abandonment came up. So, she drove off, figuring Regina did not want her butter to melt.

Emma was not entirely sure how she would sneak the food into the house, so she decided not to sneak. She would let people think that she was squatting in the house. Spoils of war or something. They seemed all about that with their swords and stuff like that. And, boy, were they serious about their swords.

When people had started coming out of their homes, trying to figure out what was going on, many had been armed, but not with guns. They carried large knives, probably for hunting or fishing, but a select few managed to have swords. Emma suspected it came from “cursed lives” that involved service in the marines. Either way, it was something she had to look out for until her parents and other royals called a meeting and laid down the law that people could not carry weapons like that. People seemed to listen. Why? Emma was not sure, but whatever kept her from having to confiscate swords worked for her.

“Regina?” Emma called as she stepped into the house with her arms full of groceries. If Regina was passed out again, she just hoped more vomit was not involved.

“In the kitchen,” Regina replied. Her voice sounded normal, almost strong.

“The kitchen?” Emma’s brow scrunched up. Maybe Regina had gotten her appetite back. She carried the bags into the kitchen.

Regina leaned coolly against the counter. “Really, Miss Swan? You took over an hour and this is all you were able to accomplish? I thought giving you a list would work best.”

For a second, Emma was offended and about to tear into Regina, but then she noticed Regina’s lip was split open. She decided to take it. Regina was probably trying to be normal while everything crumbled around her, including herself. Emma could appreciate that. She could and would be normal, too. As normal as this situation, this town, and this life would allow her to be.

“First off, there’s more than this. The rest of it’s in the car. Second, it took so long because only two people have decided they’re fine with living their lives as cashiers,” Emma huffed.

“That’s two more than I expected,” Regina muttered, glancing away.

“Yeah, well, it gets better considering had you had this huge appetite two days ago, the store wasn’t even open.”

Regina waved it off. “I’m not surprised by that. I’m sure your two cashiers probably were not the original cashiers in the first place, but that is not our concern. Go get the rest of the bags and we can get started.”

Emma arched an eyebrow. “We?”

“Yes, dear. _We_ will be cooking. Now, run along.” Regina shooed her away with a flick of her wrist.

Emma knew something had to be wrong with her because she was happy to comply with that demeaning demand, not even mentioning the stupid hand movement. It was nice for someone to just treat her like her. Between the townspeople coming to her as “the savior” or as “the princess” and Snow White trying to treat her as “the daughter” and Henry looking to her as “the mother,” it was nice that someone saw her as just Emma. Sure, that someone thought of Emma as “the idiot,” but that was way more familiar than the other titles.

Emma trotted out to get more bags and noticed already there were a couple of people standing outside, probably trying to figure out what was going on. Emma decided to play it normal, if only t find out what was going on without arousing any suspicion. She grabbed more bags and went back inside. Returning for the last of the bags, she saw there were now five people standing outside.

“Can I help you?” Emma asked.

“Are you moving in?” a man inquired with an arched eyebrow.

For a very brief moment, Emma winced internally at the implications. _Move in with Regina? Yeah, then I’ll pull out all of my teeth with rusty pliers_. But, then she remembered they did not know Regina was home. After all, if they did, they probably would have burned the damn thing down with her inside of it. So, Emma went back to playing it normal.

She shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, not like Regina’s gonna need it, right?”

The man nodded. “Speaking of the Evil Queen, have you seen her around? You should be looking for her instead of shopping.”

Emma gave them a lopsided grin, even though he was beginning to annoy her. “Hey, a girl’s gotta eat and I got a growing kid and all. I’m still looking for Regina. She can’t be far and all. I mean, a queen has to be used to a certain lifestyle, right? She’ll turn up.”

He gave her another nod. “I guess that explains why you haven’t been at the station when I go in.”

“Yeah, out there looking for Regina.” It was not really a lie.

“And are you working on getting us home?” his tone was curt, like this was a demand.

Emma groaned, feeling quite badgered now, especially when he got murmurs of agreement from the others. She almost said that was not her job, but she bite her tongue on that. Instead, she just walked away. She did not owe them an explanation. They should be grateful that she even broke the stupid curse.

With everything inside, she marched to the kitchen, hoping Regina was not in view of any windows. She had not boarded all of them up as planned, only doing enough to keep the draft out to prevent Regina from getting any sicker than she was. But, the kitchen looked into the backyard, so they should be fine. Regina was still leaning against the counter. She had not even taken anything out of the awaiting bags.

“I hope you don’t think I’m going to put everything away, too,” Emma huffed.

“No, you will. You need to learn where everything goes,” Regina said.

“And why the hell would I need to know that?” Yes, Regina was dying, but Emma had no plans to stay in the Mayoral Mansion once that happened. She did not need to know where everything went since she would not be there that long. _Damn, that seemed like a fucked up thing to even think_.

“You need to know because you should keep things familiar to Henry,” Regina pointed out.

Emma blinked. It had not occurred to her that all of this was about Henry, but she should have guessed. Everything for Regina was about Henry. This was someone who was mother. A mother first, before everything else, even if she was a bitch and crazy and dying. She was a mother and Henry came before any and everything. Emma wondered if she would ever get to this point. Yes, she loved the kid, but he was not her every waking thought. But, then again, she was not dying.

“All right, tell me what to do,” Emma sighed, but squared her shoulders, ready for whatever it was Regina needed her to do. “But, this better not be a trick just to get me to restock your pantry.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “Hardly. I wouldn’t go through this much trouble and effort in tricking you. I’m sure a dangling carrot would be all the bait I need if that were the case. Now, you put things away and I’ll take out what we need to get started. If you play nice, you’ll great nice meal out of it.”

That did not sound too bad to Emma. “What are we cooking? Something I like?”

Regina scoffed. “No, something Henry likes. Today, I will show you how to make Henry’s favorite foods, starting with his favorite dinner.”

Emma nodded. “Right. Which is?”

Regina scowled and her forehead furrowed. Emma could practically read her thoughts, knowing she was upset over the fact that Emma did not know what Henry’s favorite food was, upset Henry would chose Emma over her, and upset Henry considered Emma his mother without an effort on her part. It was not fair, but Emma did not feel too angry over it for Regina. While Regina was his mother, she clearly was not perfect and she had brought some of this on herself.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina turned away from the sheriff and began removing items from the bags in order to make Henry’s favorite dish, which beef stew. He liked it made a certain way and he had always been a big fan of being able to dip bread into pretty much anything. A memory of him at five, dipping homemade bread into his bowl of stew made her smile. She would miss that smile.

“Miss Swan,” she said, wanting to tell the blonde to treasure her time with Henry, treasure any delight in his eyes, hold onto all of his smiles, and cherish any hug.

“Yeah?” the sheriff replied, standing on her toes, putting up spices on the spice rack. Stretched out, her entire body seemed to be on display because wearing her actual uniform seemed to be lost on Emma. Instead, she wore her “life’s uniform” of a t-shirt and jeans. She was taut and muscular and Regina hoped this meant she could protect Henry from any physical attack. This was the only reason why she stared at the sheriff’s body, Regina told herself. The only reason.

Regina decided against saying what was on her mind about Emma cherishing Henry. “Nothing. Just make it quick, so we can get to this. Time is of the essence.” There was no telling when she a fever would ravish her body or she started coughing up whatever amount of blood she had left inside of her.

“Look, you either want me to play the maid or you want me to be the cook. I can’t do both,” Emma sneered.

“Come here. We’ll do the cooking and then while it does so, you can put everything away. Now, come, learn,” Regina commanded.

Emma did not put up a fight, which set Regina at ease. She had expected gross incompetence, but Miss Swan turned out to be a decent cook. She paid attention and followed directions without whining or complaining. Maybe Henry would be in capable hands, after all. Or at least he would not starve to death. _Next, we’ll see how she does at mending clothing_.

“So, these spices you put together, is this something you came up over here or something from ‘the old world?’“ Emma inquired, rolling her eyes.

“You seem a little resentful of the old world,” Regina noted.

“Just seems like a stupid place and I’m sick of people asking when we’re going back and why I haven’t figure out a way to a place I’ve never been or didn’t even believe existed until a couple of weeks ago,” the blonde replied, a frowning tugging harshly at her mouth.

“I would have thought Snow White would handle this issue as swiftly as everything else.” Regina rolled her eyes this time. She could not figure out why people had such faith in Snow White and why they followed her blindly.

“Not swiftly enough for some people and they keep bugging me about this shit because I’m the ‘savior’ or whatever.” The sheriff made a face that reminded Regina of Henry whenever he ate something too sour.

“Yes, these people do so love to ask when they’re going to get things, never trying to do for themselves or never even wondering if they deserve what they’re demanding. They’re sheep. I guess that’s why they like your father so much,” Regina remarked, coughing. She snatched up a dishrag and let it catch the blood and phlegm that came up.

A blonde eyebrow went up and her mouth scrunched up a bit. “What?” She was not even affected by the coughing anymore.

This was normal. Coughing up blood was now Regina’s normal. Making matters stranger, being around Emma Swan was now her normal. Normal to the point where she grew anxious when Emma was not around or when Emma had to leave. In fact, thinking of Emma leaving caused her heart to speed up a bit. She swallowed it down, did not want to think about it, and ignored it whenever it popped up.

“Your parents haven’t shared their ‘interesting’ stories with you?” Regina rolled her eyes, knowing the answer to that. Heaven forbid, Snow and her shepherd share anything that made them appear less than immaculate.

“I don’t wanna know,” Emma declared, throwing her hands up.

“Oh, no?” Regina tried to ignore that she was starting to feel cold. While it was probably freezing outside and some of the windows were broken, so the chill easily entered the house, she knew now that when felt cold it was the beginnings of a fever.

“No, I really don’t and I don’t want to talk about this with you. I mean, you tried to kill them and me,” Emma pointed out.

Regina could not argue that one and found herself lacking the strength as the world grew fuzzy around the edges. Shaking her head, Regina tried to clear her mind, but there was no going. She was thankful she did not hear a sickening crack on the way down now. Regina woke in her bed.

“Miss Swan?” she called, just to see if she was alone. Alone. Just the way she would die. Anxiety and fear crawled at her guts.

“Still here.” The blonde stepped over to the bed. Those green eyes, just staring down at Regina, banished those negative emotions in her stomach.

“Even though I tried to kill you and your parents?” She spat the words out, finding them bitter and biting. Maybe she could chase the sheriff off before the blonde dug in any deeper. She could handle those useless emotions, defeat her apprehensions without Emma, because eventually Emma would try to cut her down, like everyone did. She would not allow it.

“Believe it or not, you weren’t the first person to try to kill me. Hell, you didn’t even come the closest.”

That was intriguing. “Who could have come closer than that?”

“I used to live on the street and I was bail bondsperson. I’ve encountered some seriously dangerous people in my time with some seriously dangerous weapons, but that’s not important. I shouldn’t have said what I said,” Emma said apologetically.

“Why? It was the truth,” Regina replied, licking her lip. It was split open again and tasted of blood and lipstick.

“Yeah, but it was unnecessary to say. You’re already stressed.”

Regina shook her head. “Since when are you so nice?”

Emma shrugged. “Hell if I know. Maybe it’s because you’re dying and no one should die alone, hated, especially not my kid’s mother.”

Regina had not expected that response. It was raw and honest, more than anyone would ever give her. It was more than she deserved. She would later blame the fever for this, but she was happy Emma said that.

“Thank you for not letting me go through this alone,” Regina murmured, glancing away for a moment.

Emma sighed and stepped closer to Regina. The blonde held her hand out. Regina looked at it for a while, but then decided “what the hell.” She was going to die in two months anyway. So, she took Emma’s hand and Emma squeezed. Regina squeezed back and felt something run down her cheek. She hoped to whatever god there was that it was blood leaking out of her eye.

“Thank you for raising Henry for ten years. You gave him what I wanted and what I didn’t have and probably couldn’t provide,” Emma admitted.

“Well, you have to provide it now,” Regina pointed out.

Emma nodded. “Teach me. Teach me everything you can.”

Now, Regina nodded. “I will, especially since you want to learn.” _This should go so much smoother without her fighting me_.

“Well, if I can’t keep you in my pocket, I guess I need to learn everything I can while I can. I want the kid to be good. I want to be good for the kid,” Emma whispered.

Regina remembered that feeling. The first time she held Henry in her arms, all she could think about was how she wanted to be good for him, wanted to be everything he needed, wanted to be perfect for him, so he would be perfect. He would love her and grow into this sweet, wonderful man and she could just be proud. Well, at least she got the latter two. _Those are the most important. I won’t dwell on anything more_. There was no point to it, after all.

“Speaking of the kid, I need to get going. If I’m gone too long, he always thinks I’ve left,” Emma reported. It bordered on sweet and annoying at the same time.

“Don’t ever leave him,” Regina pled, squeezing Emma’s hand as tightly as she could, which was not much. She felt so weak.

Emma nodded slowly. “I won’t. I won’t, Regina. I’ll come here everyday and learn everything about him and I’ll make sure he’s okay, even in this crazy mess. This is one thing you don’t need to worry about, okay? Try to get better. I’ve got him.”

Regina sighed in relief. Everything would be all right as long as Henry was taken care. “Go to him.”

Emma nodded again and she patted Regina’s hand before letting go. Emma left and Regina went upstairs. She fell asleep before she even heard the door shut.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma locked Regina’s house and barricaded any openings that she thought people might try to enter through. She doubted they would poke around the place now that she had squatter’s rights to it, but she felt better safe than sorry. She then returned home.

“Emma, what’s this about your moving into Regina’s house?” David inquired as soon as she got through the door. He looked worried, almost as if he would burst into tears. Emma felt weird about it, somewhat sorry, and she just wanted to say something right, something to comfort him.

“Just a thing I’m trying out,” Emma replied with a shrug, hoping her nonchalance would show him that it was not a big deal. She was not too sure she wanted to tell them it was a lie or they might let it slip. Of course, they had not told anyone that Regina was home, so maybe she should throw them a bone. Despite the trouble they were going through, it seemed like she could trust them.

“You don’t want to live here anymore?” Snow wailed as she came over. She tucked herself against David, but reached out for Emma. With despair in her eyes and a sad frown on her face, Snow touched Emma’s arm and the sheriff accepted the touch. Yeah, she was pissed with them, but she did not want to hurt them.

“No, no, no,” Emma said, shaking her head. “I’m not moving out. I just told everybody that, so no one would go snooping around the house. She’s really sick and probably not strong enough to fight anyone off.”

Snow’s face went from sorrowful to upset in less than a moment. “So what? She’s not your problem,” she insisted.

And just like that, Snow lost Emma’s sympathy and she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just don’t think it’s cool for anyone to die like Regina is dying.”

Snow flinched, as if she realized how heartless she sounded right now. “It is sad that she’s dying, but you don’t need to hold her hand. She’s the one that did all of this.”

“Your mother’s right, Emma,” David chimed in, as expected. God, it was like the man did not have an original thought in his head. He just agreed with everything Snow said.

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Emma said, waving it off. “Where’s the kid? I wanna take him out for burgers.” She wanted to get away from them right now and the conflicting emotions they made go to war in her body and mind.

“But, I cooked,” Snow said.

“Yeah, but I want time alone with my kid,” Emma said. She did not want Henry to resent her like she did with her parents, but she felt like it was coming. One day, Henry was going to realize Regina died because of things that went down here and he would blame her, like she blamed her parents for getting rid of her.

Emma moved on, finding Henry in her room, doing homework. He was a good kid, doing his homework without being told usually. At first she thought it was because he lived with his teacher, but Snow had not gone back to school and she was not too sure there was still school, not in the way she knew it to be anyway. Henry did not say anything about classes, but he got on the bus every morning and claimed to have homework every night. She made a mental note to check out what he was doing once he got off the bus. _Shit, I have a lot to learn with this mother crap and so little time to do it._

“Hey, Henry, wanna go out and get some burgers to eat?” Emma asked.

Henry looked up and grinned. “Emma!” It was like the whole world shined in his eyes. She could see why Regina wanted to teach her all she needed to know about taking care of him.

“Hey.” She winced internally because she knew part of his reaction was the joy that she came back. “So, burgers?”

“Yeah!” Henry cheered. Emma grinned. She needed to figure out what to say to him to get him to see Regina, if only so Regina could experience that smile one last time before she died. But, she would not worry about that now. She just wanted to hang with Henry and enjoy him.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Emma and Regina bond over more than just cooking.


	8. Holding court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

8: Holding court

Regina’s glands were swollen, which was not good with her cracking skin. It was like her insides were trying to burst forth. Her irate skin burned under the strain.

When she first noticed her appearance, she almost jumped out of her skin. It was a shock to see upon waking and just trying to brush her teeth to stand before the bathroom mirror and assume a drying frog was staring back at her. She tried breaking her mirror after that. Slamming her fist against surface had only hurt her hand, to the point where she feared it was broken. Her hand bled, so she wrapped it. Thankfully, the throbbing subsided.

Once her hand stopped hurting, she took a golf club to her mirrors. The club was there from a brief moment years ago when she fiddled with the idea of playing, but found it to be way too boring. Every mirror in the house tasted her fury and she unleashed her anger with enough force to break the club at some point, but she did not realize it until she was done.

She was winded after destroying her mirrors. Blood dripped down her arms where her skin split open because of the exertion. Her lungs burned as she tried to draw in air, needing to catch her breath. Her body felt like it was on fire, undoubtedly overheating from what would have been considered by most a little workout, but to her felt like scaling Everest. She dropped to the last stair of the staircase, next to the last mirror, which was basically on the floor now and in tiny pieces.

She needed to get up because Emma would be by soon. She did not want to worry the blonde. They had things to do and she wanted to be able to do them without Emma bothering her about this illness. She hated that she looked forward to seeing Emma now. She looked forward to the little bit of activity they were able to do. She felt stronger when Emma was around and the pain did not seem quite as intense. She assumed that was something in her mind, but she did not know why it was. She did not dwell on it.

“So, get up,” Regina ordered herself through gritted teeth. “Get up.” She needed to get up and do something about her appearance.

She did not want Emma to see her like this. Yes, Emma had seen her through each new symptom of this curse, but her glands made her look like a frog. She realized now not only had Rumple killed her, but he had taken away her beauty as well. She would leave an ugly corpse. It was not so much the vanity in her, but she wished she had been left with something. She would not have any dignity when she died.

“Hey, Regina,” Emma called as she came in from the back door, the only door she had not blocked. “Where are you? Sleeping?”

Regina sighed and rolled her eyes. _Why would she ask if I’m sleeping, as if I could answer her while asleep?_ There were times when she could not believe she was trusting her son to this woman.

“In… the foyer,” Regina answered, trying to speak loudly, but it was hard because she was panting and her throat was practically closed thanks to her swollen glands.

Emma marched to the space and did not even bat an eye. She sat down next to Regina, close but not quite touching. Emma often did this when they were close. Regina was not sure if Emma picked up on the fact that she did not like to be touched, or if Emma did not like to be touched, or if Emma just thought the evil would rub off. Whatever the reason, Regina appreciated that Emma continued to treat her normally unless her illness was truly getting in the way of that.

“Can ice help that swelling?” Emma asked after a long stretch of silence.

Regina just stared at her. Emma hung her head, recognizing the stupid question for what it was. _She’s almost adorable_. The thought made Regina blink and she shook it away. Miss Swan was adorable in the same sense that a kicked puppy was.

“Can you at least breath through that?” Emma inquired.

“Somewhat,” Regina answered. Her swollen glands were not really stopping her from breathing. It was more the fact that her lungs had mucus building up. She imagined that would only get worse as the weeks passed.

Emma nodded and then glanced down at Regina’s hand. “What happened there?”

Regina did not dignify that with a response and Emma did not press. Green eyes looked around and she knew even an idiot like Emma would be able to put together what happened. Emma did not say anything about it.

“So, are we making anything today?” Emma asked curiously.

“You have to… go shopping… again,” Regina replied, fighting down a smile. They had been cooking everyday. Usually, Regina could make it through the meal before exhaustion claimed her.

Emma nodded. “Want me to go now?”

Panic tore through Regina’s stomach and seized her lungs, making it even harder to take a breath. No, she did not want to be alone, not while it was a struggle to breathe. She shook her head, not wanting to alert Emma to her dilemma.

“We can… make… breakfast food,” Regina replied, doing her best to seem as normal as Emma.

“Okay, as soon as you catch your breath. So, other than…” Emma rubbed her neck. “Anything going on around here? Nobody trying to get in or anything, right?”

Regina shook her head and took a deep breath, hoping her breath would even out. “It’s been… quiet.”

“Good. Outside has calmed down, but people are still a bit scared because they think something worse is going to happen.”

“Because… they think… I escaped?”

Emma waved it off. “Something like that. You really scare them. What did you do beyond this curse thing?” Oddly enough, she did not sound judgmental, only curious and maybe even a little teasing.

Regina was tempted to tell, unburden herself to one person before she left this mortal realm. Maybe Emma would even understand a little, but somehow she doubted. No spawn of Snow White or blood of King Leopold could ever understand her.

“Let’s go cook,” Regina said, climbing to her feet. Even that made her short of breath. She fought down the impulse to put her hand to her chest.

Emma followed her. “What are we going to make? Breakfast? It’s almost lunchtime.”

“Yes, and it amazes me that no one looks for the sheriff at this time.” That was almost normal. Regina was ready to internally congratulate herself for that very small accomplishment.

Emma shrugged. “I’ve got them all fooled into thinking I need space, which isn’t much of a lie. I need to get away from these crazy people.”

Regina chuckled, which turned into a cough. “Then you might understand me a little better than you think.”

Emma just kind of gave her a smirk. Regina did not think too much on what that meant. She went into showing Emma how to make waffles. Emma was surprised that she had a waffle maker.

“Who has waffle makers?” Emma inquired, rolling her eyes.

Regina scoffed. “It’s not such an endangered appliance, Miss Swan. Now, pay attention. Henry enjoys waffles on Saturdays.”

A lopsided grin appeared on Emma’s fair face. “I like waffles, too.”

“Yes, these are not the type that pop up in the toaster, dear,” Regina commented, knowing those were the type that Emma more than likely scarfed down by the box load.

“Okay, but those are good.” Emma gave her an impish smile. “You should try them. They might surprise you.”

Regina scoffed. “I doubt it.”

“Nah, we should put that on your bucket list!”

Regina arched an eyebrow. “My what?” She somewhat understood the concept, but it was a bit shocking to hear Emma mention one for her.

“Your bucket list. It’s a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket,” Emma explained.

“Yes, well, I doubt I would get to much since leaving this house would mean ‘kicking the bucket,’ as you put it,” Regina pointed out.

Emma sighed. “Yeah, that does suck, but there has to be some things you want to do before you go that you can do in the house before you figure out what the cure for this thing is.”

Regina could not help chuckling. Despite this talk of a “bucket list,” she noted that Emma wanted to keep up the illusion that she was going to manage to live. Yes, she was still searching for a cure, but she was realist. She would die, very soon. Emma knew that because Emma was a realist, too. Their worlds had made them that way. And, yes, the world had also made her a fighter, but there were some things that could not be beat.

“Let’s get to work,” Regina said and they moved about the kitchen in a pattern. They had a rhythm now, Emma shadowing, Regina knowing when to explain and when to just show, Emma knowing what to grab and when to move out of the way, and Regina knowing when to move and let Emma take over. She believed Emma would be fine when it came to cooking, but there were many other things to do and so little time.

-8-8-8-8-

The cooking was done, but Emma lingered around for a bit, feeling like Regina might still need her. Regina stood away from her, trying to catch her breath. Her swollen glands looked exceptionally painful, but Emma did not say anything about it. Regina seemed to like that she was trying to act normal.

“Do you think we can have a drink after all of that? I’m a little stiff from all of this work,” Emma commented.

Regina arched eyebrow. “A drink? I suppose we could. I can also show you how to sew.”

Emma made a sound that she was certain was more akin to a confused dog than a human being. “Sew? Who the hell sews?”

“You will once I’m done with you. Henry is prone to tearing his clothing and he also becomes attached to clothing. He had a t-shirt when he was five that he wore to bed until he outgrew it. I had to sew many holes in it.”

Emma groaned. _This mothering stuff is complicated_. But, she followed Regina to her office and Regina poured them both some cider. She also retrieved a sewing kit, which Emma could not believe actually still existed.

“You can just observe for now, but you’ll have to do it eventually,” Regina said.

“Great, so I can give Henry stitches,” Emma joked.

Regina gave her a look, but she could have sworn there was an amused twinkle in those deep brown eyes. Emma knew she was getting to Regina and Regina liked having her around now. This made Emma feel pretty good because she was enjoying being around Regina.

“How the hell did you learn how to sew anyway?” Emma wondered aloud as she nursed her drink. Regina just gave her a deadpan look and Emma groaned. “I would’ve had to sew in the other world? This place just sounds more and more horrible.”

Regina chuckled, a smoky sound that wrapped itself around Emma for a moment. “Sewing would have been the bane of your existence?”

“Yes. Who wants to sit around sewing?”

“I find it a bit relaxing. It gives me quiet time to think or enjoy music while keeping my hands busy. You would prefer to just get new clothes.”

Emma scoffed. “I’d just wear the torn stuff. I’ve learned to live with stuff like that.”

Regina nodded and made a small noise. “You wouldn’t want for anything in the ‘other world’ as you’ve dubbed it.”

“Except electricity, TV, running water, antibiotics, my car… Need I go on?” Emma had no desire to go to some place that sounded like it was about a thousand years behind them in technology.

There was another chuckle. “All right, I suppose you would want for plenty. Now, pay attention.” Regina began with her sewing lessons. Emma paid attention, but Regina had to keep the cider coming because it was boring to watch, even if they managed to keep conversation going between them.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma yawned as she stepped into the apartment. Henry sat on the couch, watching television. Snow White was in the kitchen, not yet making dinner, but taking items out to get started. Emma smiled and thought she could do something nice for the house and test out her new skill set.

“Hey, why don’t you let me do that tonight?” Emma offered as she went into the kitchen.

Snow looked at her with a wrinkled brow. “Take care of dinner?”

“Yeah, let me do it,” Emma insisted. She would be able to give Regina a nice report later tonight in her midnight check in. She might go a little earlier than that since Regina was now having trouble breathing. She did not want the damn woman to suffocate in her sleep. There was still so much to learn. Besides, being with Regina was not that bad when they were getting along.

Snow did not put up an argument. Probably because she did not like cooking, even though she did it. Emma moved about the kitchen, noticing Snow did not stray too far. Snow watched her and Emma wondered if Snow was waiting to correct her on something. Well, Emma would show her.

“So, where has this desire to cook come from?” Snow asked, a smile on her face, but a weird look in her eye.

Emma shrugged. “Just trying to do something nice.”

“Well, I’m not complaining. I’m just curious. Usually, you’re all about Granny’s and whatever other takeout you can get your hands on.”

Well, that was true. “Cooking for one is stupid, so I don’t bother. Besides, it takes less time to get grab something and go.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

Emma was about to say that Mary Margaret agreed with her philosophy, but then remembered that Snow would know that since she was technically Mary Margaret. She just did not seem like Mary Margaret. David had given a speech the other day to the townies about how they were both of their personas, but Emma was not so sure. First off, opening her mind allowed her to see that this David was much better than other David. He was a little pushy and trying really hard to be her dad, but he was not completely awful. If nothing else, she thought she could at least be friends with this David. Snow White was another creature entirely, though.

“Did you do a lot of cooking in ‘the old world’?” Emma asked, mentally rolling her eyes because of the phrase “the old world.” It was like they were all a bunch of immigrants in a movie, saying things like “the old country.”

Doe-like eyes glanced away. Snow did not like to talk about the old world to Emma. Emma was not sure if it was because Snow sensed her discomfort with it or if Snow did not want to turn her off to the place should they ever figure out a way back or if Snow did not like it as much as she let on.

Emma noticed how Henry perked up, probably wanting to hear about it, too. Emma knew that Snow and David had been feeding him propaganda about “the old country.” It did not take much to make Henry want to go to the Enchanted Forest. The book had ensured that and then there was all the “knight stuff” he was doing with David. She could only wonder what he would do if he knew she slayed a dragon, not that she had any plans to tell him. She could hardly believe she slayed a dragon and part of her liked to think she imagined it after being knocked unconscious. _Okay, a lot of me likes to believe this whole madness is a dream and I’m lying in a coma somewhere_. That best explained why she had a loving family and all of this other insanity that came with them.

“I cooked for a while in the Enchanted Forest when I was on the run,” Snow said in a lower tone than usual. She fidgeted with her hands.

“You mean like in the book?” Henry asked.

“Yes, the book shows what happened fairly accurately,” Snow answered.

“I knew it! I told you, Emma,” Henry bragged.

Emma pretended to sneer. “No one likes it when people do that, Henry.”

Henry scrunched up his face and Emma wondered if she was too hard on him. It did not sound too hard to her. She was fairly sure that Regina would have scolded him for boasting, even though Regina did not practice what she preached.

“So, did the book leave anything out?” Henry asked.

Snow put her finger to her chin and tilted her head slightly. “Well, I haven’t looked at all of it, but it basically started from when I met Charming. I think it covered things fairly well from that point in our lives to when the Curse was casted.”

Emma doubted that was true. The book did not explain why August was able to come and go from the town when no one else could. She was certain there were other things left out. After all, Storybrooke had a lot of people in it, but the book mostly focused on Snow White. There was no way that was the whole story in a curse that involved thousands of people. Hell, this curse involving Regina had more story to it than she knew and it was just between Regina and Gold.

“Maybe you can look at it now and tell me,” Henry requested.

Snow smiled. “Some other time, Henry. I’m really not ready to relieve all of the moments that led to being here.”

His face dropped a bit. “Oh, okay.” He then turned his attention to Emma. “Since when do you cook?” he teased.

Emma made a face at him. “I can cook. Just wait and see.”

There was a lot of meaningless conversation between them as Emma cooked. David came in right before dinner was ready. He had taken it upon himself to keep people calm and assure them that they were looking for a way home. Emma guessed people had learned to stop asking her about that. She had given him a deputy star, just to give him some real world authority, even though he did not seem to need it. It made her feel better, though.

“Hey, Charming, you’re just in time to try Emma’s cooking,” Snow reported with a smile.

David blinked. “Emma cooks?” He turned to the sheriff.

Henry laughed. “That’s what I said!”

“Yeah, I can cook. Besides, I’ve been learning,” Emma stated.

Emma was fairly certain that she did a good job on the meal, but she would let them judge. She made everyone a plate and they pulled up to the counter. Emma frowned as they all played around with the chicken.

“Just eat it,” Emma huffed. “It’s not poisonous.” Or so she hoped. Maybe Regina had purposely taught her something deadly to kill her most hated enemies, but then again, it would also kill Henry and Regina would never do that.

“Mom makes cutlets like this,” Henry commented before breaking off a piece and shoving it in his mouth. He immediately smiled. “It’s really good.”

This endorsement was enough for Snow and David to try it. They hummed their approval and Emma smiled. Things were going well until she noted that Henry ate a little slower with each bite. He did not finish his food. Emma thought it might be because it reminded him of his mom. He did not ask to be excused as he pushed away from the counter and dragged his feet back to couch. The three adults watched him go.

“We’ve got the dishes, if you want,” David offered, speaking to Emma.

Emma nodded and made her way over to Henry. She flopped down next to him. He had a hand-held game and played it, ignoring Emma. She let him be silent for a while.

“So, you didn’t like the food? I thought I did a pretty good job,” Emma commented. “I mean, unless we all get food poisoning in the morning. Then, of course, I screwed up.”

“It was okay,” he mumbled without looking up. This was not going to be easy.

“You didn’t finish it,” she stated the obvious.

He wrinkled his nose and frowned briefly. “I wasn’t really hungry. Me and gramps ate after we practiced swords today.”

“Really? When he texted me, he just said you guys had pizza.” Pizza was not a lot to her, so she knew it could not possibly be a lot to a growing boy.

“I had two slices.”

Emma held in rolling her eyes. Two slices were not enough to fill up a kid either, especially after playing around with swords for a few hours. “You sure that’s it?”

“Yeah.”

“You know I got a superpower, right?”

Henry scowled and turned away from her. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Look, kid, if you wanna see your mom, we can go. You know I go all the time.”

His frown deepened. “You’re letting her lie to you, but you’re telling me about your superpower. I don’t think your superpower works on her or you’re just ignoring it.”

“I’m not ignoring it. You are.”

Huffing, Henry jabbed at the buttons on his DS. “You’re letting her play you. She’s the Evil Queen. You heard Grams, the book is right.”

Emma decided not to push him right now. She wanted to consult with Regina on what she should do. She wanted Henry to see his mother before she died, though.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina slept light, so the sound of the door downstairs opening woke her up. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was close to midnight. She had only managed to fall asleep an hour ago. She had to prop herself up on her pillow to ease the pressure on her chest, which was gone now. It had been difficult falling asleep in a sitting position and her dreams had been maddening. She listened carefully, trying to figure out if she needed to worry. She knew Emma’s footsteps. It was Emma.

“Regina, you sleeping?” Emma called loudly throughout the house.

Regina sighed and shook her head. “So, at least I know in the future, Henry will be screaming in the house and many people will want to know if he was raised in a barn.”

“Regina?” Emma called, much closer now.

“In the bedroom.”

“Oh.” Emma’s footsteps sounded heavier and then she opened the bedroom door. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?” she asked as soon as she stepped inside. Apparently, it did not occur to her to knock, which Regina assumed was something else Henry would eventually pick up.

“You did, but it’s good that you did. I was uncomfortable,” Regina admitted. She did not like sleeping sitting up and she could feel the muscles of her lower back tighten from the position.

“How you feeling?” Emma asked, moving closer to the bed, probably inspecting Regina and trying to slick about it.

“Better.” It was the truth. There was still the pain, always the pain, but the other symptoms were not quite severe right now. She licked her lip, remembering it was split. There was a sore developing as well.

“Looks like the swelling went down in your neck.”

Regina nodded, even though she had not seen her neck since breaking all of her mirrors. “It feels like it.”

Emma forced out a smile. “I made that chicken thing you showed me. It went over well.”

Regina hummed. “Henry really likes it.”

“He didn’t finish it. He looked sad while he was eating it,” Emma reported and Regina sat up completely, giving the blonde her complete attention.

“Did he say why?”

Shaking her head, Emma ran her hand through her hair. “Here’s the thing, I think he misses you, but he doesn’t want to admit it. He thinks everything in that damned book is right, so he thinks you’re evil and you’re lying and I’m an idiot for believing you.”

Regina felt a stab in her chest. “He doesn’t want to see me?”

“No, I think he does, but the stupid book. Do you want me to bring him over? I was thinking about it, but figured it would be best to run by you. I mean, what should I do?” Emma asked, eyes begging for answers.

“Does it really matter to you? Shouldn’t you just let him hate me?” She worried it might traumatize Henry if he was forced to see her before he accepted what was happening, but if they wanted too long, it might be just as bad. Perhaps, he would just always hate her and not even care if she died, like the rest of the world.

Sighing, Emma flopped down on the end of the bed. “Wouldn’t it be so much easier if I could?”

Regina glanced down at the blanket. “Yes, it would.”

“But, I can’t. Damn it, Regina, I can’t.” Emma looked her dead in the eye. “You’re his mother. You might have done a lot of shitty things to a lot of people, but you’re his mother and you did a lot for him. You gave him a life I never would’ve been able to and the best life I hoped for with him. You were the kind of mother to him I always hoped for in foster care.”

Regina swallowed, surprised by this earnest admission. Of course, it was probably easy to admit it to Regina since she was essentially a walking corpse. She could not use the information against Emma and did not have anyone to tell. _I am dying. I guess I could have this conversation with her. She might need it and she’s been good to me without needing to be_.

“I’ve tried to be the mother that my own mother was not,” Regina confessed.

Emma blinked. “Wait, you have a mother?”

Regina could not help chuckling. “Yes, Miss Swan, even I have mother. She wasn’t the… warmest individual.”

“How did you handle that with Henry? I mean, I remember I wasn’t used to affection after a while and then I got into a decent family and one of the kids hugged me, I pitched a fit. I got thrown out pretty quickly because I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know how to respond.”

“Well, my mother wasn’t very affectionate, but my father was better, so I knew how much hugs and such meant to a child when I got Henry. I also did a lot of reading up on caring for a child. I wanted to do right by him. I always wanted him to be the best thing to come out of my life,” Regina explained.

“I’ll try to keep it up.”

Regina nodded. “Good. I think you should know that… when I do… pass.” It was difficult to say the word “die” aloud. “You will get Henry.”

“Well, I’ll probably have to go to court and stuff—” Emma started, but Regina cut her off.

“No, Miss Swan, you will get Henry. I’ve made sure of that. When I first came to this place, I wondered about your government and how it was different from the Enchanted Forest. I began studying the laws.”

“So, you’re practically a lawyer?”

Regina shrugged. “I’ve done everything but take the bar exam. I’ve set up all of the legal documents and it should hold up. We can have a lawyer look at them soon to make sure they are sound and have them notarized. I want Henry to be happy and he will be with you.”

“I’ll do my best not to screw him up,” Emma promised. “I’ll even get him to college.”

“He has a fund for the Ivy League, Emma. Nothing less.” Regina was utterly serious about that. She always planned for him to go to an amazing college. “I doubt he’d like the crowd of Harvard, but Dartmouth would probably suit him.”

“Shit, woman! You are crazy!” Emma laughed. “You do realize that if he graduates high school, he’s got one up on me.”

Regina’s eyes narrowed. “It’s not about him getting one up on you. It’s about him living up to his full potential. I’ve also researched acceptable fraternities should he grow a little more social.”

Emma laughed even more, holding her sides. “Geez, Regina, you are a tiger mom!”

Regina did not know what that was, but she assumed it was not a good thing the way Emma said it. “If that means I care about Henry’s future then so be it. I’m not saying push him into something he doesn’t want to do. Let him choose his own major, of course, but you want him to go to a good school. It’ll give him that best chance you’re fond of talking about.”

Green eyes went wide. “You know about that?”

Regina waved the question off. “I know more than you assume. I do wonder what made you think that system that failed you would do well with him?” She hated to think that blind faith was genetic.

“No one looked out for me, but I looked out for him as best I could. I wasn’t going to let him go unless he was getting adopted right away. Fostering and adoption aren’t the same thing. I was fostered. You adopted him and the lady told me about you. I remember being impressed.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you were impressed by the simple fact that I could write my own name and had a paying job.”

Emma smirked. “The writing thing was pretty damn impressive.”

Regina shook her head. “Idiot.” It probably would have been more convincing if she was not smiling.

Emma gave her a sidelong look. “You said you had a father. You never thought about getting married to give Henry a dad?”

“Get married to one of my cursed subjects?” Regina pointed out.

Emma slapped herself in the head. “Oh, right. Did you ever want to get married?”

Regina bit the inside of cheek. She did not want to talk about that time, but she also did not want to stop talking. It felt good to have a conversation, something easy and flowing without malice or games.

“I was married, a long time ago. To your grandfather,” Regina answered.

Emma’s face scrunched up. “My grandfather?” She sounded confused and then Regina realized she was. After all, up until a couple of weeks ago, Emma did not even know she had parents.

“Snow’s father, dear.”

Emma waved her hands from side to side. “Wait, wait, wait, you were married to her father?”

“Ah, there’s that wit I’ve been missing,” Regina remarked. She hoped she had nurtured Henry enough for the “Charming” nature to be gone.

“No, seriously, you were married to Snow’s father? That’s not in the book,” Emma huffed.

Regina waved that off. “I imagine there are many things the book doesn’t cover, but yes, I was married to her father, Leopold. If the book doesn’t cover it, I do believe that awful movie pointed out I was her ‘evil stepmother.’“

Emma scratched her head. “Okay, wait, how old were you? I mean, you can’t be that much older than me and Snow, right?”

“I was nineteen when I was married. He was… let’s just say older. My mother _arranged_ it.”

She could see the wheels in Emma’s head turning. “Yeah, arranged like… the middle ages?”

“Arranged in the sense that the king wanted to marry me and even though I didn’t want to get married, we were married. Of course, you can’t deny a king anyway, but my mother accepted and I did as she said.”

Emma frowned. “What the hell? So, you just were forced to get married? Geez, and I thought Henry’s father was a douche bag for framing me.”

“Framing you?” Regina wondered what that story was.

“You finish your tragic love story and I’ll tell you mine.”

“This is tragic in and of itself that we have these tales to share,” Regina forced out a smirk. She wanted to seem cool, did not want this to affect her, but she had already started on this road.

So, she told Emma about her marriage, in full detail, from start to finish. She told Emma of lonely days, tormented nights underneath a man she barely knew, even after years of marriage, parties spent dangled from the king’s arm like an ornament, dinners were she had to sit quietly for hours on end because she was not expected to have an opinion, and galas where nobles whispered about her, her half-common blood, her possibly being a bastard as her mother had been known to entertain a certain imp, and dozens of other rumors about her. Not once did she make a friend at court and any guard that seemed too close to her was reassigned by the king, clearly marking his territory.

As she spoke, she tried to tell herself that she was saying those things because she wanted to hurt Emma, shatter Emma’s image of her mother and her heritage, but the more things poured out of her, the more she knew she was saying those things for herself. She was unburdening herself, letting go of that pressing weight. _I thought I was over it when the damned genie killed him, but it feels like he’s seeped inside of me, rotting me away, pulling me down into an abyss even now_.

“Being alone was something I was used to, but for some reason it ate away at me in his court. I died a little on the inside every day before it began to fester and rot. Maybe the whispers mixed in made it worse. Worst of all was being in his bed. Everything about the castle seemed to poison me, crush me, slowly kill me, and drive me mad. The only thing counteracting it was this festering desire within me to pull it altogether and show them that I could not be destroyed,” Regina muttered with a growl. “Of course, thoughts of revenge always danced in my head. I would pay them all back for what they had done to me, for how they had ruined my life.”

Regina did not notice until she finally stopped talking how tense Emma was. The blonde’s hands were balled into tight fists. Regina frowned at how much she obviously upset Emma.

“Emma?” Regina reached out for her, touching her hand.

Emma jumped up and stared at Regina. “What the hell, Regina? Why the fuck would your mother put you through that? Why the hell did you agree to that? Why the hell would this supposedly kind king put you through that? What the hell?” Emma shouted, as if it was Regina’s fault.

“I’m sorry. I thought… I thought… you wanted to know,” Regina whispered, eyes on her blanket. She thought Emma cared. _Foolish. No one cares. No one ever cared. Your own mother didn’t care_.

“I did, but damn, I didn’t think it would suck that much! I didn’t think people that were supposed to care about you could hurt you that much! Shit, I didn’t learn that people that care can hurt you the most until Henry’s dad, but shit!” Emma paced and ran her hand through her hair. “Shit!”

Regina was confused and her chest hurt again, tightening and making it hard to breathe. Emma was not upset with her? No, it seemed that Emma was upset over what happened to her. It was a first. Regina was usually the only one upset with her past.

“Emma, calm down,” Regina said, putting a hand out for the sheriff.

“No! I mean, why the hell would I even want to go to some place like that? So, they can sell me to some prince or king twice my age I don’t even know and tell me again how it’s for the good of everyone?” Emma’s eyes flared. “So, they can keep telling me that this whole thing is your fucking fault? I mean, being fucked up isn’t a good excuse for what you’ve done, but shit! What the fuck else were you supposed to do?”

Regina arched an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Emma threw her hands up. “Okay, well, obviously you weren’t supposed to kill anybody or curse a whole realm or fuck with anyone’s mind, but shit!” Apparently, “shit” was her favorite word for the moment.

“Clearly, but I thought that was a good answer to my problems at the time. I thought many terrible things were the answers to my problems,” Regina replied calmly.

Emma sighed. “None of them were, huh?”

Regina shook her head. “Looking back at it now…” she paused. “It wasn’t the answer. Nothing I did was the answer, which is why I only became angrier, no matter what. I couldn’t possibly be satisfied with anything back then and I just didn’t accept that.” For some reason, now, she knew her actions had all been for naught. Nothing would have given her this strange calm that she actually felt now. She felt better knowing that Emma was not angry with her. But, her chest was still tight and she began coughing. Reaching over, she grabbed tissues, which filled with blood and phlegm.

Emma sobered at the sound of the cough. “You should get some sleep.”

Regina shook her head. “I doubt I could sleep with that on my mind now.”

Emma sighed. “Yeah, I guess it was pretty dumb to ask you to talk about that right before bed.”

“It was,” Regina concurred. Of course, she could have chosen to not speak on it. As much as it hurt to relive her marriage, underneath it all, she felt lighter. She also felt validated in a way to see Emma so angry. What happened to her was not something that was supposed to happen or something that she brought on herself, which was how she felt.

Emma sighed and flopped back down on the bed. “Tell me something good.”

“I thought you were going to share your tragic love story,” Regina pointed out.

“Tomorrow. Let’s try to think of better things for now. For now, tell me something good, something about Henry, like his first Christmas or something.” Emma actually laid down on the bed. She was comfortable around Regina, which was odd, but Regina found she liked it. _Of course, something this nice would happen when I have about six weeks to live, if I’m lucky_.

Regina decided to tell Emma everything she wanted to know. She left out no small detail. She wanted Emma to feel like she was there for Henry’s first Christmas, well, the first one he remembered.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Regina gets a visit from Mr. Gold while Emma visits the Blue Fairy.


	9. Visitors and fish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

9: Visitors and fish

Emma ended up sleeping at Regina’s house. Partly because it was late when Regina finally fell asleep and partly because she just did not want to go home now. She was not ready to look at her parents or even Henry. This was brought on just from the outrage she felt on Regina’s behalf, which she thought was weird and everything. She could not help that empathized with Regina, though. She knew all too well what it was like to not be in control of her life, to be betrayed by loved ones, and to be hurt by those around her.

It bothered Emma to feel like she understood Regina, considering everyone blamed Regina for everything. But, she could not bring herself to do that, even before she knew about Regina’s life. She would always blame her parents for her “orphaning.” She might forgive them one day, but her mess of a childhood and life would always be their fault. Regina’s spiral was also on someone else as far as Emma was concerned. Of course, Regina never caught herself, which Emma could understand, even though she had caught herself. Sure, she had to go to jail and lose her son to do it, but she caught herself. Maybe Regina could catch herself now.

In the morning, Emma woke up at the foot of Regina’s bed. Regina was asleep, her mouth open and her breathing loud. Emma smiled, just happy the older woman was still alive. But, thanks to her own dealing with Regina and last night’s tale, she knew it was hard to bring Regina down.

“I can’t even see how this damn thing can bring her down,” Emma muttered, speaking on the wasting curse. Part of her just could not believe anything could kill Regina.

Staring at Regina, Emma realized how big it was for Regina to share with her. She wondered if it was some sort of deathbed confession, but she did not think too much on that. She just knew that Regina trusted her now and she actually sort of trusted Regina because she planned to tell Regina all about her time with Henry’s father. They had bonded at some point, grown closer, which did not say much considering a few weeks ago they had been bitter enemies and rivals. But, they had come a long way and it was enough to make her head spin, but she managed to hold off by not thinking about it anymore. For now, though, she had to get to work and before that she needed to go home to change clothes.

The loft was empty. Henry was at school, which was as close to school as it would probably get according to Henry, who had been told that by a teacher. He accepted that, so Emma did as well. As long as he was still learning the basics, she was fine with it because she felt like in time, the town would normalize to the point where it was similar to how it was before the Curse broke.

David and Snow White were out doing whatever it was they did. She believed they were part of a council that was now acting as a collective mayor. Emma wondered if they just thought that was how things were going to work or if they were looking to ignore the awesomeness that was a democracy.

Sighing, Emma shook her head. “Really? I’m gung-ho for democracy now? I don’t even vote.” She thought she might start after hearing what the hell an absolute monarch could do to Regina. She had been through a lot in her short life, but nothing like that. “I’ll take people trying to kill me over enduring years of…” She did not want to finish that thought.

Shaking her head, she tried to put that out of her mind. Taking a quick shower, she donned some jeans and her gold star before making her way to work. She mostly drove around in her cruiser now, patrolling the town. It was way too much work for her as a single person, but no one applied for deputy yet and she did not want to hire anyone, beyond David and he had better things to do apparently. She did not know who to trust around here anymore, especially now that she thought the storybook Henry lived by was biased.

In her morning patrol, Emma stopped several petty crimes, including graffiti, purse snatching, and someone ran out on a tab at Granny’s. Emma imagined this would get worse as people got more accepting of the idea that they were stuck in Storybrooke. Some people would just act out to vent, but others were probably just reverting to their old ways. There was no way that everyone in town was a saint, after all.

“Of course, they all try to act like it’s not their faults. If only they knew how much they had in common with Regina in that regard,” she muttered.

She went shopping before taking her afternoon at Regina’s house. She hoped Regina was doing better after a goodnight’s sleep. She found Regina in the living room, sitting on the couch with a book in her hand.

“Hey, Regina, I picked up more supplies for cooking lessons.” Emma held up her bounty. Anything to avoid more sewing lessons and she did not want to think about what might come after sewing lessons. _Thank god we don’t have a daughter or she’d be braiding my hair next to show me how to do it for the kid_.

Regina looked up and there was glassy look to her eyes. “Emma?”

“Yeah. What are you, sleeping with your eyes open? I guess evil never does rest,” Emma remarked with a lopsided grin. Regina loved the moments of normalcy and Emma liked them as well.

Regina wrinkled her nose at Emma. “Merely blocking out your incompetence.”

“Oh, but I’m going to wow you during our next cooking lesson.”

Chocolate eyes rolled. “I doubt it.”

Emma made a face and helped Regina off the couch. Regina took her hand without a word and Emma wondered when they got to this point. When was Regina all right with touching her and when did she voluntarily help Regina? She supposed it did not matter. She knew it happened over their cooking lessons and maybe just sitting with each other. She would miss these moments when Regina was gone, but she did not want to think about that.

“So, Henry’s dad,” Emma volunteered as Regina began setting up the ingredients.

“Yes, dear?” Regina said, just to show she was listening.

Emma spilled everything about him, starting from the beginning of how they met stealing the same car to their running cons together and being a rather petty version of Bonnie and Clyde to the end of how he left her to take the fall for those watches. She could hardly keep the bitterness out of her voice when she found out that she was pregnant and he never bothered to contact her, clearly never actually caring about her. Regina mostly coughed through the story, but Emma thought some of them were faked to cover up the tick to her face each time Emma said something untoward.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Regina whispered when Emma was done.

Emma frowned. For a moment, she thought Regina pitied her. She did not tell that story to be pitied. But, then she remembered Regina was the one that cast the curse and was possibly apologizing for everything. Whatever the case, Emma did not want that.

“It wasn’t your fault, Regina, and I’m not just saying that because you’re dying. I made my choices and he made his,” Emma stated.

Regina nodded. “At least we got Henry out of it.”

Emma grinned. “Yeah. Great kid that I have tell he needs to go to Harvard, no matter what his dream school.”

Regina frowned and her nose wrinkled. She oddly looked like Henry in that moment. “Just the Ivy League, Miss Swan. Don’t force him into Harvard.”

“Says the woman forcing him into the Ivy League.” Emma chuckled, especially when Regina shot her a dirty look.

“He should have better than we did.”

Emma nodded. “Yes. He should. But, then again, no one’s tried to kill him yet, so I think he’s doing better than both of us.”

“This is the second time you’ve brought up people trying to kill you. Has it truly happened that often?”

Emma waved the question off. “Well, it’s happened to me more than is normal for a person. But, then again, being on the streets is dangerous.”

“Being in a palace can be as well.”

The blonde nodded. “Yeah, so the kid definitely has one up on us already. You’ve given him a lot to get ahead and he knows what’s expected of him thanks to you, so I’m sure college is on his mind already, even if he’s into swords and junk right now. I’m happy I got my GED, but I should’ve just graduated high school. Probably should’ve done some kind of college, too.”

“You shouldn’t regret, Miss Swan. Move forward and only look back if you enjoyed the path.”

Emma nodded, even though she did not agree with that philosophy. She could see how Regina lived by it. Emma’s motto more had to do with get the hell off the path, especially if she enjoyed it. _Good things always came to an end and those endings hurt more than any disappointment could_. It was better to control the terms in which things ended, so she walked away from good things as well as bad.

“I’ve figured out that joy leads to regret,” Emma commented.

Regina nodded slightly. “Yes, this is true, but if you don’t look back, you don’t have to regret.”

Emma was not entirely sure why, but she began talking about how she learned joy led to regret. “When I was fourteen, I thought I loved this guy and I thought he’d save me. Just being around him made me happy and the thought of getting out of the hell that was my tenth foster home was even better. And, he told me if I loved him, I’d show him.”

Regina scowled. “The pig! I imagine you did it.”

Emma nodded. “Yeah, and then you can imagine he was gone after. I’m glad I learned that lesson, though. Fucking dude tried the same shit not too long after, but he wanted to put me on a corner.”

Growling, Regina shook her head. “Men are pigs, no matter the realm.”

“That has been my experience.” It was troubling to think that she and Regina could bond over trauma. Part of her wondered what it would have taken for her to become Regina. A small push in the wrong direction or just one more violation of her person and she might have been Regina, or at least Regina-esque.

“Well, I shouldn’t say all men,” Regina amended her thought. If Emma was not mistaken, a small, ghost of a smile played on Regina’s lips and there was look, something akin to happiness in her eyes.

“What makes you change your mind?” Emma asked. _What could make you look so happy right now, even as the world is crumbling around you?_

Regina was silent for a while and Emma did not press. Regina had already proven that she would talk when she was ready. Brown eyes stayed on her and then narrowed before Regina relaxed. Apparently, Emma passed whatever test Regina put her through. She smiled a little from that and Regina smiled back.

“A long time ago, I knew a wonderful man named Daniel,” Regina said and she went to tell Emma about this great love of her life, her knight in shining armor, her would-be savior.

Regina’s eyes shined as she spoke about him and all the time they spent riding together. In brief moments, Emma was certain Regina lost herself in the memory and relived the day in her mind. It was nice to know that Regina had some good memories before Henry came into her life.

“So, what happened to him? Why didn’t you marry him?” Emma asked curiously. She wondered if the Enchanted Forest had some kind of caste system that prevented Regina from marrying beneath her.

Regina sniffed and frowned. “I think we’ll wait for that story.”

Emma wondered what could be so horrible that Regina did not want to talk about now, but again, she did not press. They went to the kitchen and began cooking. Emma noted Regina paused a lot more, needing to catch her breath. At some point, Regina developed shakes and dropped a pan from the stove. Food splattered all over the floor.

“Regina, you okay?” Emma asked, wrapping her arms around Regina, holding her together.

Regina did not respond, just continued shaking. _Is she was having a seizure?_ The shaking grew more severe and Regina’s skin split in spots that it cracked. Emma picked up Regina bridal style and held her as she walked to the sofa. Sitting, she noted that Regina weighed next to nothing. She was not showing the weight lose extremely yet, like she was not a walking skeleton, but she was visibly skinner.

It had only been about three weeks since Regina was first cursed, but it seemed like she had been through so much. Emma could only imagine what it was Regina did to Mr. Gold to have him do such a horrible thing to her. Of course, from the little she knew about Gold, the punishment probably did not fit the crime.

“There’s probably a history between them, too. Maybe she’ll tell me about. If I know more of the story, maybe I can get Gold to reverse this thing,” Emma pondered.

Regina coughed in her arms; her frail body feeling like it was coming apart. Leaning over, Emma grabbed a handful of tissue. She put it to Regina mouth, catching thick clumps of blood and mucus. The force of the coughing split Regina’s lip even more. It seemed like an eternity passed before Regina finally calmed down. Her breath came in deep pants, but she seemed settled.

“My mother killed Daniel,” Regina said out of the blue. Her voice was low and rough.

“Wait, what?” Emma asked incredulously. Why the hell had Regina just thrown that information out there?

“My mother killed him. That’s what happened to him. I was standing there when she ripped his heart out,” Regina said.

“Your mother ripped his heart out?”

“And crushed it to dust right in front of me.”

“Why the hell would she do that?”

“Because love is weakness,” Regina whispered.

Emma was going to ask what she meant, having a feeling the saying was significant, but she did not have to ask. Regina spilled her guts, telling about her mother. It seemed like she went through every moment of her childhood that she could possibly remember. As she spoke, Emma noted how hot Regina was and she wondered if the fever caused Regina to make up things because Emma could not imagine some of the things Regina told her.

“Your mother used to bind you with magic?” Emma asked in disbelief. She could not wrap her mind around that.

Regina took a deep breath and nodded. “Until I was a good girl…” She took another deep breath.

“Regina…” Emma was not sure what to say. She had not expected Regina’s mother to be the root of all evil, but then again, the apple did not fall far from the tree. She also did not expect Regina to be an abused child. _The more I find out, the more I see we’re damn near the same. I could have been this woman, but then again, she could’ve been me_.

Regina’s head lulled to the side. “I’d be a good girl if this stopped. I’d be good…”

And with that, Emma decided it was time for an ice bath. Regina could not know what she was saying and the fever was to blame. Once Regina was in the water and ice mix, she mumbled that she would be good. Emma frowned, feeling unbelievably pissed over what she was seeing.

Regina could have turned out different, maybe if she had mother that actually was … well, a mother. It made Regina raising Henry even more miraculous. But, Regina’s mother should have protected her instead of scarring her so badly that Regina became the Evil Queen. God, not only did the woman murder Regina’s beloved right in front of her, but then she basically sold Regina to a king for upward mobility? _Who does that!_ Apparently, parents were not all they were cracked up to be. _Is that a fair thought?_

She could not help wondering if that was the norm in the other world. How many other “bad guys” were screwed by the system and lashed out? It was not the right thing to do, but she could understand it. She lived it until going to prison. Hell, she probably would have lashed out there if only she had not been pregnant. Carrying Henry had taught her how to be calm in the face of shit not going her way. _Did he do the same for Regina? Or could he?_

Emma’s thoughts dispelled as she noticed Regina sinking under the water. The older woman was unconscious. Emma fished her out of the tub and noticed yellow bruises on Regina’s body along with the cracks, rashes, and patches of dry skin. She could not help it; she poked one of the yellow bruises. _Ew, the human body should not feel like that!_ It felt like jelly and she feared she might be able to put her finger clean through Regina’s leg. Emma wanted to throw up, but managed to hold it together. She had to hold it together.

“Regina’s counting on me,” Emma said aloud, needing to hear it. It helped bolster her.

She dressed Regina in a slip nightgown, knowing anything heavy would irritate the rash or her peeling skin. She put Regina to bed, noticing the pillows were piled up and she knew it meant Regina needed to be propped up to sleep. She had seen that with a lot in kids with asthma and bronchitis while moving around. Once she was sure Regina was somewhat comfortable, she went to fill a glass of water. The water was left on the nightstand by the bed and Emma left a little bit of the meal they cooked by the bed. She hoped Regina ate something when she woke up.

For a moment, Emma just stood in the room, listening to Regina breathing. It sounded like each breath was a struggle. Each inhale cut through her and each exhale stabbed her in the chest. Making it worse, in the back of her mind, she could hear Regina promising to be good if only the illness, the curse would go away. She sounded so young and small, Emma knew that was the voice she spoke to her mother in, her abusive mother. _What kind of fucking bitch hurts her own kid like that?_

Growling, Emma tore herself from Regina’s bedroom. She grabbed the food they made, not wanting it to go to waste… well, beyond what was on the floor. She put some of it in the fridge, in case Regina woke up with an appetite and then went home with her thoughts and emotions swirling.

“Hey, Emma,” Henry greeted her, his smiling face making her feel a little better. “Wanna play a game with me?”

“Sure, if you finished your homework,” Emma answered, moving to the kitchen and putting away the food.

He grinned. “Of course.”

“Of course,” she echoed with a smile of her own. He was Regina’s doing. Regina had managed to overcome all of her screw-ups for him, even if she was still screwed up inside. Emma thought she might be able to do the same. After all, she had turned over a new leaf just from carrying him. If Regina could be a good mother without a decent example, then surely she could do the same.

Thinking about that, she made a note to look at Henry’s book, see if it told more about Regina, if only her time married to the king before she stole his life and his kingdom. But, before that, she would spend time with the kid and feed the family. They all sat down to dinner, which was the food from Regina’s place, after she kicked Henry’s butt at “their” card game. She had taught him the game and he had dubbed it “theirs” because no one else knew how to play it.

“Mom would’ve let me win,” Henry commented with a teasing smirk.

Emma laughed. “No, she wouldn’t!”

Snow opened her mouth, as if she wanted to chime in on the conversation, but she held back. Emma was not sure why since they all knew Regina was her stepmother once upon a time. Of course, Snow never mentioned how old she was when Regina came into her life. The book was no help, making it seem like the pair only shared the same space for a little while before Regina murdered the King and then tried to frame Snow for it. How long had Regina been Snow’s “mother”? What had they done together? Had Snow loved her? Had she loved Snow? So many questions and no answers, unless Regina felt like telling… or she got wracked by another fever.

“When did you make this?” David asked as he shoved a forkful of stew in his mouth.

“Me and Regina made it today,” Emma answered with a shrug.

“You made most of it,” Henry said, turning his mouth up.

“You can taste the difference?” Emma guessed. She had made most of the stew while Regina worked on what she eventually dropped.

“It’s not bad,” Henry quickly said, dripping a piece of bread in his bowl.

Emma chuckled. “But, it’s not your mom’s.”

“But, it’s just as good!” he insisted.

Emma sighed, knowing he was trying to distance himself from Regina again. She was not going to let that go on much longer, but she did not want to force him to see Regina. Regina would not like that, after all. She might scar Henry if she forced him and he was not ready.

“Should you be spending so much time around Regina? Is she contagious?” Snow inquired.

Emma shrugged. “Hell if I know. I don’t think so.” She was not sure if curses worked that way, but then again, she probably knew the least about magic at the table. “Can I catch a curse from someone?”

David scratched his chin. “I don’t think so. I’ve been around your mother when she was cursed and I didn’t catch them. But, then again, one of them I doubt I could catch.”

Emma gave him a look and he laughed. Despite it all, she found herself liking David, even though she knew he would never apologize for putting her in that wardrobe because she ended up being a hero. Sometimes, she could see how genetics worked by watching him because she did so many things just like him, especially leaping before she looked. In very quiet moments, when she was not worrying about Regina, she thought about how she would have liked to grow up with him as a dad.

“So, it’s a no?” Emma asked with a smile.

“It’s a no,” David assured her.

Snow opened her mouth, but did not say anything. She glanced at Henry and then turned her attention back to her food. It was in this moment that Emma realized Snow might have wanted to know more about Regina’s condition, but was not sure how to go about asking, especially around Henry. Emma decided to say something as they cleared dinner.

“You know, you could go see her,” Emma whispered to Snow.

“See who?” Snow asked.

“You know who.”

Snow shook her head and glanced down briefly. “She doesn’t want to see me.”

Emma did not doubt that, knowing Regina blamed Snow for the death of the only decent person in her life, but she thought Snow might need it. Regina had not said anything about her time as Snow’s stepmother beyond “Snow chose her.” So, Snow might have some affection for her and she might need the closure.

“Look, if you need it, you should go. She doesn’t have a lot of time left,” Emma admitted.

Snow sniffled. “I know. I don’t want to upset her all the way to the end. Are you going to take Henry to see her?”

“Soon.”

Snow nodded and the issue was dropped. The house settled down. Emma decided to teach David how to play the card game with Henry. Henry did not object, which she expected since David was his hero. David smiled the whole time, mostly at Emma, who smiled back. Maybe her parents were not perfect, but they were hers and they were pretty decent. Maybe she would never forgive them, but she could get along with them and press forward. It was more than most people got.

“Oh, come on!” David complained, throwing his hands up.

Emma and Henry laughed. They were kicking his butt. Snow came over and they showed her how to play, too. Henry grinned.

“I guess now it’s a family card game,” Henry stated.

“I guess so, kid,” Emma agreed. She did not mind.

When everyone was asleep Emma curled up the sofa with Henry’s book. The book was not very detailed in Regina’s life beyond her being a villain in Snow’s life. There was no doubt Regina was then an evil, maybe even an insane woman. But, what about before? There was so much time before Regina just seemed to go off the deep end and kill the King. What happened before?

-8-8-8-8-

Regina woke up and had to crawl to the bathroom to throw up. For once, she made it to the toilet and she was grateful for that. She spent a lot of her “feel good” time cleaning up mishaps from this damned curse. She could not remember much of what happened yesterday, but she knew she spent much time talking to Emma about her life in the Enchanted Forest. Shaking her head, she sighed.

“She probably won’t be back,” Regina figured. She was too weak in front of Emma, exposed too much. She probably disgusted the blonde woman, much like she disgusted herself.

The idea that Emma would probably not be back sank into her stomach like a mighty stone. She tried to pretend it was not there. She did not care one way or another if Emma returned. She was fine on her own. She was always fine on her own.

“I don’t need her,” Regina promised herself. _Sure, you don’t_ , a wicked voice in the back of her head laughed.

After brushing her teeth, Regina made her way downstairs. It took so long now just to walk the hallway. Her muscles hurt, her lungs hurt, hell, even her bones hurt. If she stepped too hard, it split the skin on her feet, but just walking gave her blisters. She made a conscious effort to not cry out, even as a certain name wanted to spill from her lips.

Every movement sent ripples of pain through her, despite taking the painkillers. She could not stay in bed, though. There was still so much to do, yet before she could get through much, she ended up on the sofa where her book was waiting for her.

She barely made it through a few words before she heard footsteps. Her heart jumped and she barely breathed out the name of “Emma.” Maybe, just maybe, she would not have to die alone and Emma would stay with her to the end. But, then, she heard something that let her know it was not Emma. There was a tap of something heavy and she just knew it was a cane.

“I’m surprised, your Majesty, I was certain you’d be dead by now,” Rumplestiltskin commented as he stepped into the living room as if he owned the place. “But, I should’ve known you wouldn’t die so hard, though.”

Regina narrowed her gaze and sat up straighter, more regal. The movement felt like it tore apart everything inside of her, but she would be damned if she showed that to him. “You won’t kill me, Rumple, but I will see you in Hell,” she sneered.

He giggled that maniacal giggle from his imp days. It was surprising he did not do one of his flamboyant hand gestures along with the laugh. “Honestly, Regina, you might as well stop strutting for me. It’s impressive you’ve made it this long, but we both know this will kill you. Be it now or a week from now. You will die and I will have done it. I’ll just visit you in a week and see how much progress you’ve made then.” He smiled at her.

Regina snarled and threw her book with all of her might. Rumplestiltskin giggled again and vanished in a puff of smoke. Regina wanted to go after him and the fact that she could not made her blood boil. She screamed at the top of her lungs and frustrated tears poured out of her eyes. The action made her chest burn and she coughed violently, spitting up yellow phlegm. _I’m going to die. That damned imp killed me. He killed me and I will die alone, disgusting, and the villain in all of this!_

She thought back to Victor having the nerve to be leading a mob against her and how Jefferson probably had his daughter back, even though she had made sure the girl went to caring couple, if only to spite Jefferson. She would die and take all of the blame. Hell, from the way Snow and David treated Rumplestiltskin, he might even be knighted for giving her the curse. _Bastards!_

The more her fury overwhelmed her, the more powerful coughs shook her body. Unable to stop weeping, she hissed as her skin blistered as if she was burned. She could not breathe, everything hurt, and she felt so cold. Just as she thought she was about to die, she felt arms wrap around her. Looking up, she could see a blurred image, but knew the blonde hair.

“Emma?” Regina whispered. Maybe she was seeing things. Hallucinations were probably a part of this curse.

“I’m here, Regina. I got you,” Emma promised, holding on.

“I’m going to die alone, hated,” Regina sobbed, throwing her arms around Emma and clutching her like a lifeline.

“No.”

“I just wanted to be loved, just wanted love.” Regina could not believe she admitted that. She was not even sure if she knew that until this very moment. “I always thought defeating Snow White was everything, but if that was the case, I never would’ve adopted Henry. I just wanted to love and be loved, nothing more, and I had been too angry to figure that out. Now, it’s too late.”

“It’s not too late. You are loved. Henry loves you. Hell, I think Snow might still love you,” Emma said.

Regina shook her head. “No, everyone hates me. Everyone. My mother, the King, these people. Even Daniel, he would hate me. Henry hates me. I’m the villain, the villain,” she cried. “I never wanted this. I just wanted to get Daniel back. I just wanted love…”

“You have it…”

“No, they stole it from me. They took it all from me.”

“Who? Tell me. The book only tells about Snow. Tell me, what happened to you? What did you do to Gold to make him curse you? What the hell led to you cursing all of these people?”

Regina told it all because Emma already knew everything and Emma had already seen her at her ugliest, both emotionally and physically. So, she told Emma about Rumple being her teacher, about Victor and Jefferson, and even about how the only fairy she ever saw was Tinker Bell, even though fairies were supposed to help people in her type of situation, which was complete and utter desperation. She had not met another fairy until she was at war with Snow White and was already quite evil and utterly mad.

“Wait, yeah, why didn’t the Blue Fairy ever help?” Emma asked. She had heard her parents singing the fairy’s praises because of her getting fairy dust and she was probably going to figure out how to get them home. She had not been of much help when she came to see Regina was dying. Apparently, that was her history with Regina, not being much help.

“I don’t know,” Regina said, her voice low and rough. It was a struggle to keep her eyes open now. She was exhausted and everything hurt.

Emma frowned. “That’s kinda weird, right? I mean, a fairy should’ve showed up when your mother was abusing you.”

Regina scowled, even though it took more energy than she had. “My mother did not abuse me. I was punished, not abused.”

“Okay, but I don’t think you agreed with the punishments much.”

“It was a punishment.” Regina did not have it in her to argue this and ended up falling asleep before Emma said anything else.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma made sure Regina slept all right before she left the house with a simple destination in mind. She hated to think that all of this bullshit could have been avoided if only for one person. Well, obviously it was a path of people, but one person could have stepped in and helped. One person should have stepped in.

She stormed onto the convent grounds and would have assumed her attitude would get her sent right to Hell when she died. But, she was probably going there anyway considering some of the things she had done in her life and these guys were not real nuns anyway.

“Where the hell is Mother Superior?” Emma demanded to the first nun she saw. The woman slinked away just from Emma’s expression and went to go get the woman in charge.

“Emma, what can I do for you?” Mother Superior inquired, walking out as if everything was all right. She had the nerve to look pleasant and surprised to see Emma.

“Seriously? You grant fucking wishes to creepy old men who want sons, but you don’t help abused kids? What the fuck kind of sick standards do you have?” Emma snarled, putting her finger right in Mother Superior’s face.

The nun blinked. “Excuse me?”

“No, there’s no excuse for you! Do you realize if you stepped in before fucking Gold showed up, you could’ve helped her, could’ve saved her, and avoided this whole fucking mess!” Emma pointed again.

“Emma, what are you doing?” Snow asked as she and David ran up. Apparently, someone called them to come rein in their child.

Emma pointed at Mother Superior. “Do you realize had this bitch just done her job and granted one of the million wishes Regina made on a star for her mother to treat her better we could’ve avoided this whole fucking mess? Do you realize that shit?”

“Emma, what are you talking about?” David asked.

“I’m talking about how this all-knowing fairy just sat on her hands while Regina basically got groomed to be a goddamn monster! Who does that? Who the fuck does that?” Emma shouted, throwing her hands up. “How many other kids did you leave to rot for no goddamn reason while giving old guys little boys?”

Mother Superior’s brow furrowed. “Emma, you don’t understand.”

“Explain to me what’s so hard to understand about helping a kid in a bad situation when you have a chance. Hell, even I had someone step in and help me and she didn’t even have magic powers, just a teaching degree! You are supposed to be the ultimate good, so again, what the hell?” Emma huffed.

“Emma, you’re overtired,” Snow said, grabbing Emma by the arm.

Emma yanked her limb away. “No, fuck that. I’m not dancing on eggshells around the person who thought it was a good idea to put a baby in a tree or just leave Regina to get fucking abused by her mom and played by fucking Frankenstein.” Emma looked Mother Superior dead in the eye. “Why didn’t you help her?”

“Because she’s always had darkness in her. Regina was destined for this,” the nun answered.

Emma shook her head and it took every ounce of willpower to not strangle this fucking fairy woman to death. “I don’t accept that bullshit. There’s no way in a hell that a woman who rescued a kid from a runaway horse had darkness in her to the point where you just write her off. I can’t believe that a woman who Snow freaking White still has some kind of feelings for was destined for this. Destiny is just an excuse and it’s a bullshit excuse, both for not helping her and for sticking me in that goddamn tree. You’re just a fucking asshole, hiding behind goddamn magic dust, like some kind of drug dealer.”

Snow and David managed to pull Emma away at point. They gave the Blue Fairy apologizing glances and then practically dragged Emma out of the convent. Emma tore away from them as soon as they were on the street.

“I wasn’t done giving her a piece of my mind, just so you know,” Emma huffed, resisting the urge to turn around. If she went back, she would punch Mother Superior in the face, but then again, she doubted the nun would come back outside.

“Emma, that’s the Blue Fairy. You don’t talk to her like that. She’s good,” Snow insisted.

“Bullshit! If she’s so good, she would’ve helped Regina a long time ago, but she didn’t. So, bullshit,” Emma replied.

“You heard her, it was destiny,” David said.

“I repeat: bullshit! There’s this thing called freewill and all Regina needed was someone to step in and help her. Sometimes, people need shit like that to get them on the right track again,” Emma stated.

Her parents frowned. “Maybe you’re spending too much time with Regina,” David said.

“Yes, clearly. Maybe you should pull back,” Snow added.

“No! I’m not going to let her die alone. Yeah, she’s bad and she made your lives a living Hell, but underneath it all, she’s actually human. She’s scared and she just wants someone to be there for her. Believe it or not, somewhere in there, there’s a piece of that girl you loved, Snow. There’s a piece of that girl that you wanted to be your mother,” Emma said and Snow gasped.

“Emma,” David said. It was almost like he was scolding her. He put his arm around Snow, whose eyes remained wide and her mouth hung open.

“It’s the truth. Somewhere in there is that Regina and she’s buried under a lot of hate and hurt, but she’s there. I think that’s the Regina that raised Henry and made him so awesome and that’s the Regina who should have someone there when she dies, so she’s not alone. No one should die alone and in pain,” Emma stated.

Her parents did not argue. In fact, they nodded a bit and she thought this what made them the good guys. They looked passed their problems with Regina and were able to admit that she should not have to die by herself, frightened and uncared for. This made her want to try just a little bit more with them, even if they did not see eye to eye.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Regina breaks out the photo albums for Emma.


	10. Cracking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

10: Cracking

Without mirrors in the house, Regina could only guess that she looked worse than ever. She woke up in the middle of the night thanks to a coughing fit and by the time she had fallen asleep again, the sun was rising. When she woke up again, she found strands of her hair remained on the pillow when she picked up her head. Part of her did not care, but of course, another part of her worried about what she would eventually look like when she died.

She did not wonder what she looked like now. From the parts of her that she could see, she assumed her face was worse. Her rash had evolved to the point where parts of her flesh was falling off. Her once beautiful skin looked like cold pizza with parts of it plucked off.

The skin that did not have the rash seemed to be an odd tint of yellow. She wondered what internal organ was failing for her skin to have turned yellow. The yellow areas were soft, like melting butter. Certainly if she pressed against something too hard, it would go right through her.

Her teeth hurt all the time now and last night one fell out while she vomited. The tooth was brown, almost black, with cracks in it. She might ask Emma what she looked like… if she had the courage. She was shocked that Emma kept coming by, putting up with her appearance.

Her joints ached, as well. Walking, holding anything, and even sitting down caused her pain. Still, she pushed herself out of bed and moved to get ready for Emma’s arrival. She looked forward to seeing the sheriff, even if all they did was sit with each other, but she had plans. She wanted to prepare a surprise for Emma since it was unlikely that they would be cooking or sewing again, as Regina could barely hold onto anything with her aching joints. If she managed to hold onto something, she would have a seizure a couple of minutes later.

Instead of cooking, sewing, showing Emma how to properly do laundry, or stressing the importance of having a routine with their son, she decided that her final weeks would be spent doing something else with Emma that was equally important. Emma knew Henry’s favorite foods and the basics in taking care of him, but now she needed to learn about his other favorite things, both present and past. She needed to know and somewhat see how to handle Henry.

Besides, Regina needed to this before it became impossible for her to carry anything or move. After gathering a couple of boxes, she was sweating a puddle and her lungs felt like they had liquefied. If she tried to pick up as much as a pen after, surely her arms would break off and she would have to wait for Emma to pick them up.

“Wouldn’t that be a sight?” Regina shook her head. “Knowing Emma, she’d just pick the arms up and remark how ‘it’s a good thing you showed me how to sew.’“ The thought brought a smile to her face and she discovered it hurt her face to smile.

She sat down and waited. Usually, patience was not her strong suit and she thought that being near death would have made it worse, but it was the opposite. She looked forward to Emma and would wait until the end of time for her to show up. She could admit that to herself because she was probably going to die in three to six weeks. She was not sure how Emma had endeared herself, but it probably had to do with the fact that Emma spoke to her like a person, not an object or an idiot or even a monster. She hoped Emma was like that with Henry. He would appreciate that.

She tried to imagine the type of person Henry would be because of Emma. She hoped he held onto some things from her, but surely he would take after Emma more. Emma was the great Savior and his hero, so it was natural he would pick up things from her. This actually did not bother Regina as it would have in the past. With luck, he would just take the good parts of her. But, she imagined he would be louder, but not like Emma. He was already stubborn, but he got that from her and possibly from genetics.

“Hey, Regina,” Emma called as she marched into the house, using the backdoor.

Regina chuckled. Henry would definitely get louder under Emma’s wings. Perhaps he would know how to make it endearing, as Emma did. Of course, perhaps, she just found it endearing because it was Emma. It certainly had not started out that way.

“I’m in the living room,” Regina answered. Her voice was now low and probably would be for the rest of her short life.

She doubted Emma heard her, but she smiled anyway when the Sheriff stepped into the room. Emma smiled at her, too. It was a somewhat sad smile, as if it troubled Emma that soon she would be gone. She would be missed. Maybe it would be enough, even if Henry did not want to make peace with her.

“I brought by some food. You need to eat something,” Emma insisted as she sat down and pulled out food from a Granny’s bag. There was a container of soup and sandwiches. Emma would probably eat the sandwiches.

Regina felt her stomach flip and her nausea returned. Food had been her enemy since the start of this curse. She could not eat anything, even soup. There were times when she could barely drink water because her throat would be closed too tightly.

“You’re getting too thin, Regina. Just try to eat a little bread dipped in soup,” Emma requested.

“All right,” Regina agreed. “For you.”

She did not mean to add that, but it got a goofy grin out of Emma. She felt a smile pull at her face, but she tried to fight off. She was not sure if she was successful, but she suspected she was not because Emma continued smiling.

“I’ll go get some bread or maybe some crackers. That might be easier because you can nibble them. You’ll like the soup,” Emma stated and walked off.

Regina was surprised to find she missed Emma for the few moments that she was gone. _I’ve turned into a fool under this curse. Perhaps part of the curse involves losing one’s mind since you also lose your dignity_. She tried to eat some of the soup, but managed only a few soggy crackers because her stomach seized and rejected anything more. The cramping was so tight and powerful that she fell over.

Emma caught her and held her, rubbing her back, trying to soothe her. _Has anyone ever held me like this?_ No. Gritting her teeth, Regina wrapped her arms around Emma and tried to bear through the pain.

“It’s all right. You can let go,” Emma whispered, running her free hand through Regina’s hair. “You’re so strong, Regina. So strong.”

“No,” Regina whispered. “I’m weak, so very weak.”

“No, you’re strong.”

“No…” Regina insisted, even though her voice was no longer as powerful as it used to be. She could not be strong. Rumpelstiltskin had killed her and she was slowly dying in the arms of her enemy. Her mother was spinning in her grave, undoubtedly, but Regina did not care. She wanted to be weak, she wanted these arms around her, lying to her how it was going to be all right and how she was strong. She just wanted to be comforted.

“Yes, you are. You’re still standing after everything that happened. Even that dick, Rumplestiltskin can’t put you down, even when he tries. Yes, he can humiliate you, curse you, and even turn you into a monster, but you’re still standing. There’s even still a part of you that’s so good, you can be a damn good mother and raise a pretty amazing kid. You are strong, so strong that you might even beat this thing, but you can’t give in,” Emma stated. “You can’t run. I run. You stand and fight.”

Regina nodded. She did stand and fight. But, what good did that get her? She still lost. She always lost. She lost Daniel. She lost her virtue. She lost her self-esteem. She lost her humanity. She lost her son. She lost her way, her heart, and her sanity. Now, she would finally lose her life.

“So, what’s all of this stuff you pulled out?” Emma inquired, nodding over to the stack of books on the coffee table.

Regina gritted her teeth to push against the pain in order to answer and get the day she planned. “Photo albums.”

“Photo albums?” Emma echoed as if she had no idea what such a thing was.

“Yes, starting from the beginning. When I first got Henry, I thought everything he did was amazing, so I documented everything that I possibly could. I suppose I was still in a bit of awe over the technology here as well,” Regina admitted. Everything about this world fascinated her after she figured out the Dark Curse was not all it was cracked up to be and it grew tedious living in an endless loop.

Emma’s brow furrowed. “Wait, all of this stuff here is you and Henry?” She waved over the album with one hand.

“Mostly Henry. I had to take the pictures, after all. I wasn’t in much of a habit of sharing him, even with people under a curse, who I knew wouldn’t harm him. I just loved him so much, but I know now that I can’t hoard a person. He ran off because I didn’t share him.” She understood his reasoning, even if she did not understand why he did not want to be around her as often as she wanted to be around him. She would not have wanted him to share her, or so she thought anyway. _Maybe I would want him to, if I had given Emma a chance. We could’ve shared each other_.

Emma nodded. “I guess.”

The sheriff’s words brought Regina out of her own head. “So, share him, Emma. Share him.”

“I will,” Emma vowed.

“I took these out because I want you to know about his life, events and experiences, things he liked, things he didn’t. I want you to be able to have some idea what he’s talking about when he starts talking about some time in his life before you showed up. I’m sure I will fade from his mind, he’ll forget I was there and think it was you.”

Emma pressed her just a little closer. “No, Regina. I won’t let him forget you. I’ll tell him. I will.”

Regina managed a smile. “I’m sure you will. Now, open the top album and we’ll go through it.” Emma did as ordered.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma flipped through the albums with Regina’s low voice explaining what was going on in the images until Regina’s voice trailed off. Regina fell asleep with her head in Emma’s lap. Emma thought it was cute until she really looked at Regina.

Regina’s skin was yellow and drawn. Around her eyes, there were dark circles that would have put a raccoon to shame. She could see patches where Regina’s hair had fallen out and welts in Regina’s hair, almost as if she had ringworm. Everything about Regina looked like it hurt. She stood by the idea that Regina was strong. If she were not strong, she would have folded under this curse a week ago, maybe sooner.

A whimper from Regina caught Emma’s attention and she very gently rubbed Regina’s back. She wished they had gotten along in the beginning. She learned that she could like Regina, even with the knowledge of how horrible the smaller woman could be. Maybe she could like her now because she saw her in a new light. Regina had more layers than an onion, but when they were all peeled away, she was almost decent. The thought put a smile on Emma’s face.

“I think we could’ve been friends, Regina. If we gave each other a chance, we could’ve liked each other. Yeah, we would’ve gotten on each other’s nerves, but that’s what friends do,” Emma commented, brushing Regina’s cheek with her knuckle. Her heart clenched when bits of Regina’s skin fell off from her touch.

She hated that she felt so much for this poor creature in her lap. Regina had done so much, but also had so much done to her. Emma knew firsthand how that could affect someone’s life. She understood Regina.

“I get you, you know?” Emma whispered.

“I know,” Regina replied in a breath. When had she woken up?

“You should go back to sleep.”

“I will. But, I know you get me, which is why you’re here.”

Emma shook her head. “It’s more than that, but it is part of it. Just because you do bad things doesn’t always make you bad. You have done some awful things, but sometimes, when the world makes you hurt, you just want to hurt the world back. Hell, if I had magic powers, who the hell knows what I would’ve done when I was a kid. A lot of people pissed me off and, yeah, I kicked some asses.”

Regina paused, maybe to take a breath or maybe just to process what she wanted to say next. “But, you never killed anyone.”

“Maybe because I knew I wouldn’t get away with it. I’d been to detention centers and stuff before I went to jail for the watches, so I always had this idea that I wouldn’t get away with a major crime, which is why I never stole from any place bigger than a department store,” Emma explained. While a thief and a murderer were two rather different criminals, she had been angry enough when she was younger, she believed anyway.

Regina nodded. “It’s different when you’re queen.”

“I would think so.” There was no one around to stop Regina, no authority because she was the authority.

Regina fell asleep again, that easily. Her breathing was deeper this time, so she probably going to be out for a few hours. Emma decided to go through the albums they had already looked at one more time. The first album was only the first year of Henry’s life, but Regina seemed to document every moment of it. The proud mama. _I’ve got to get Henry over here soon_.

She was just going to tell him about Regina’s condition and let him decide if he wanted to see her. It seemed fair. He was going to be scarred no matter what, she realized. His mother was dying, probably going to die within the next three weeks. He needed to face that.

“Maybe that’s why he’s fighting this so hard. He can’t face it,” Emma muttered. How could he face it? Looking through the albums, she could see that Regina was his whole world for the first few years of his life. Who could handle the entire world collapsing around him? Denial was much easier. “But, denial isn’t true. He’ll do himself more damage by denying it.”

Emma ended up putting Regina to bed. She would come back in a couple of hours, wanting to check on Regina more now. But, for now, she would go home and try to talk to Henry. Maybe even take a breath and try to wrap her mind around everything.

“Hey, Emma, you’re home early,” Snow noted.

“Yeah, Regina fell asleep,” Emma answered, flopping down by Henry on the sofa. He was reading a book, looking much like the mother he did not want to see.

“Then we can spend Saturday together, finally,” Henry declared, putting his book down.

“If you want, but I’m going back to your mom’s in a couple of hours,” Emma told him, hoping he would want to join her.

Henry frowned. “Why? She’s just lying to you. She _always_ lies.”

Sighing, Emma shook her head and patted Henry’s leg. “Not always and not lately. Your mom has done some bad things, but she’s not lying about this. I see her get worse every day with my own eyes. It’s on you if you don’t want to believe it.”

“Whatever,” he huffed and turned his attention back to his book. “She’s playing you.”

Emma turned her gaze to Snow, silently requesting assistance. Snow shrugged. She should have known better than to expect help from Regina’s hand picked arch nemesis. No one was _that_ good. Or, maybe Snow did not know how to handle the situation either and just did not want to admit it. Well, Emma had to handle it since Henry was her kid.

“She’s not playing me. Maybe if you see her,” Emma told Henry.

He scoffed and gave her a skeptical look. “Why? She’s just gonna lie to me, too.”

Emma leveled the boy a glare. “Henry, I know you’re upset, but I think you’re going to be even more upset down the line.”

Turning his nose up, he looked back at his book. Emma huffed, but did not say anything. Instead, she went into the kitchen with Snow.

“I know Regina isn’t your favorite person on Earth, but Henry has to rank high. What should I do about him?” Emma asked in a low voice.

Snow shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe you should just leave him be.”

“Leave him be? His mom is dying. You don’t think he should see her and try to come to terms with that before it’s too late?” Emma demanded.

“You’re his mother,” Snow said in a shaky voice with a wavering smile.

It was a weak argument and Emma did not want to hear it. Turning around, she stormed out of the apartment. She did not know what she would do about Henry. Marching down the street without thinking about where she was going, she almost ran over Doctor Hopper.

“Whoa, sorry,” Emma apologized as she reached out to grab him, keeping him from falling over.

“It’s okay. Are you all right, Princess?” Doctor Hopper asked, studying her.

Emma put a hand up. “Whoa, first off, it’s either Emma or ‘Sheriff’ and nothing else. And why are you asking if I’m all right?”

He gave her a small smile. “You look troubled. Is there anything you want to talk about? Like why you refuse to accept your title?” He arched an eyebrow, as if the fact that she wanted to be called her name was so bizarre.

“Uh … because I live in a country with no titles,” she answered, scrunching up her face. _I wish I could talk to him, but he’s probably worried about Regina like everyone else, thinking she’s going to rise up again and destroy them all. I can’t tell him that she’s dying right before my eyes. Oh, but I could tell him about Henry! He might have the answers_.

A light blush invaded his cheeks as he laughed. “I guess that’s true, but that doesn’t explain why you look troubled. What’s wrong?”

“It’s Henry. Well, I just think that he’s taking losing his mom pretty lightly. He’s acting like she didn’t mean anything to him,” Emma explained.

Doctor Hopped nodded. “He might need to process everything in his own time. A lot changed around him, around all of us. We all take in things differently and maybe to help him cope with this, especially his hand in it, he wants to act like this is the way things were supposed to be. If you want, I can talk to him and try to get more to the meat of the matter.”

Emma frowned a bit. She did not like the idea that she could not get through to Henry on her own. She was his mother, or at least going to be his mother, so he should be able to talk to her and she should be able to help him through his problems. _I bet Regina was able to help him through stuff before he decided she was evil_.

“I’ll keep that in mind, but for now, I think I’ll try to talk to him. But, thanks for the offer,” Emma said.

He nodded and smiled. Emma went on her way after that, walking over to Regina’s house. She kind of ran on autopilot and she wondered if that was how she had been since the curse broke. She did not think she was, but she floated between what was real here in Storybrooke now and Regina’s surreal illness. She did not think about much outside of Regina and Henry. Was that autopilot? She found she did not care.

When she was down the street from the Mayoral Mansion, she noticed some boys standing around. She did not like the looks of them. She marched up to the quartet, making sure to appear as authoritative as possible, making sure her sheriff’s star was visible.

“What’s going on here?” Emma demanded, scowling at them. The boys jumped, but one stepped forward as the shock wore off.

He was teenage boy, probably seventeen or eighteen. He was wearing a long, black coat with matching fingerless gloves. His short, wavy brown hair fell into his face. He had a strong jaw and deep, sharp chocolate eyes. He smiled at her, looking at her with a slightly tilted head. He was studying her and she could tell. These kids were definitely up to no good and this little worm probably thought he could con her.

“Hey, Sheriff. We were just checking out your pad,” he answered.

“Yeah, and why is that?” Emma asked. She did enough stealing in her life to know when it looked like someone was casing a place and it looked that way to her. She thought they were pretty stupid to be doing it in broad daylight, but most people probably thought they just some punk kids looking for something to do.

“Nah, just saying that it’s nice to have someone in there that’s worth it, instead of the Evil Queen,” he commented with a shrug.

“Okay, well, don’t huck rocks at it or anything since it is my place now,” Emma stated in a stern tone.

He chuckled. “I won’t and neither will my friends. Name’s Jack, but everybody calls me Swift, ‘cause of the curse, you know.” He stuck out his hand and she shook it.

“All right, Swift. Go find something to do,” Emma said as they let go of each other’s hands.

He smirked and nodded, walking off with his unnamed friends. Emma watched them go and then she ducked into the house, going through the front door. She put her hand on her hip for her gun, but found that she was not wearing it. She listened carefully for anything, in case of the boys had worked their way in the house before she came along. It did not sound like it, though.

Making her way upstairs, she found Regina sitting up in bed. Regina’s body shook and Emma fell to herself instantly. Emma wrapped her arms around the smaller woman.

“I heard people outside,” Regina whispered, holding onto Emma.

“It was just some kids. They were outside, talking and looking at the house. They don’t know you’re here. They think this is my place,” Emma assured her, gently rubbing Regina’s arm to keep her calm.

Regina nodded and they were quiet for a long time. Emma caressed Regina’s shoulder, thinking about how she actually wished she could hold Regina a little longer, just a little longer. The world outside was crazy, but right here was sane, until she remembered that Regina was cursed to die in a month.

“I tried to get Henry to come over,” Emma said.

Regina tensed and clutched Emma’s wrist. “He still won’t agree?”

Sighing, Emma tried not to think about how she liked having Regina hold onto her. “He still thinks you’re lying. Of course, he might just be pushing that because he can’t deal with this. It’s a lot on him.”

Regina nodded. “It is. Can you just tell him I’m sorry for lying to him? I’m sorry. I tried to be a good mother. I truly did. I didn’t want to make him think he was crazy when he got the book, but what else could I do? I couldn’t tell him he was right. I didn’t want him to think of me as the Evil Queen. What else could I do?” Her voice cracked and a tear ran down her cheek.

Emma carefully wiped away the tear from the yellowing cheek. “You don’t have to explain to me, Regina. Hell, I lied to the kid about his dad.”

Brown eyes blinked in surprise. “You did?”

“Can’t exactly tell him that his dad was a low-life asshole that left me to go to jail for him, right?”

Regina nodded. “No, I don’t suppose you can, but he will think you should have if he learns you lied.”

“He’ll really get pissed at finding out I didn’t want to tell him that his dad’s an ass?” Emma asked incredulously. _I’m so not ready for this motherhood thing if he’ll be pissed about that. I mean, shit, who wants to know their father is a loser?_

“The first time he got exceptionally angry with me was when he figured out that I was never pregnant with him,” Regina said.

“What?”

“I will never forget it. He was about seven. We went to Granny’s and he saw Ashley. He wanted to know why her belly was so big and she explained that she was going to have a baby. They had the conversation many times, so I didn’t think anything of it, but Henry went off script this time. He was more knowledgeable now than when they last spoke about it and he had so many questions. When she left to do her job, he asked me how I looked when I was pregnant with him. Then, he asked why we didn’t have any pictures of me pregnant, even though we had so many other pictures. He started upsetting himself and I tried to calm him down and explain to him that families are made differently and our family was special. He didn’t want to hear it. He stated you can only be a mommy if you have the baby, so I wasn’t a mommy.”

Emma winced. “Ouch.”

“He stopped talking to me for a while, didn’t want any explanations. I later learned that a lesson in his school dealt with science and the different ways species have babies, like laying eggs and such. No matter how much I tried to tell him otherwise, he was convinced I wasn’t his mother. Maybe he still feels that way and that’s why he won’t come.”

Sighing, Emma scratched her head. “I don’t think that’s it. Doctor Hopper offered to talk to him. I didn’t tell him about you or anything!”

Regina did not even bat an eye. “You probably could. The bug is loyal to your mother, but he’s well beyond a goody-goody. I doubt he would bring a mob with pitchforks and torches to the door.”

Emma nodded and then suddenly frowned. “How dare fucking Frankenstein of all people show up at your damn door with an angry mob?”

Regina laughed. “Oh, irony.”

“That guy’s a douche bag. I mean, not only does he help screw up your life, but then he has the nerve to be pissed that you got him back. What a dick. But, anyway, do you want me to get Hopper to talk to Henry? I feel kind of bad that I can’t get through to him.”

Sighing, the smaller woman frowned. “That’s how I felt when I first sent him to Hopper.”

Emma nodded and wondered if Regina felt the same way she did. “You should be able to talk to him and get through to him, right? I mean, he’s your kid, so you should be able to talk to him.”

Regina nodded. “Exactly. Maybe we should employ Hopper, though. Let’s not kid ourselves, Emma, I am going to die. If Henry does have any sort of emotions for me, he will need to deal with that.”

“You’ve given up looking for a cure?” Emma asked. She did not want Regina to give up and resign herself to this thing. Regina was a fighter, so she was supposed to fight.

“No, but there is no cure.”

“Didn’t you think the same about the Dark Curse and yet here I am!” Emma pointed out.

“I don’t think I can wait around for another product of true love or another Savior.”

“Yeah, but maybe I can save you. I mean, I am the Savior. Is it just this town I’m supposed to save? How would this work in a fairy tale?” Emma inquired seriously. She was not what exactly being “the Savior” entailed.

“My true love would kiss me,” Regina pointed out the obvious.

“The dead guy?”

Regina frowned. “Yes, Miss Swan, the dead guy. But, the point is, there is no cure for me. There might be a cure out there, but I will not partake of it. Just take our lessons to heart and let’s go look at the photo albums more. I’ll tell you more about Henry.”

Emma nodded and helped Regina out of bed. In the back of her mind, she started wondering how would this play out if this were a fairy tale? She was the hero. How would the hero save the damsel-in-distress… without throwing a sword at a dragon or this True Love’s Kiss thing?

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Emma was right about those boys outside of Regina’s house being up to no good.


	11. Too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

11: Too much

Regina’s time was drawing short and she really wanted to see Henry one last time. There were plenty of ways to let him know how she felt, but she really wanted to _see_ him before she died. She wanted to tell him so many things, in person if she could. She was tempted to call Doctor Hopper as ask for his advice, but she did not care to hear from him. She felt like her body was turning to dust and she was conscious of each step. She doubted she would make it longer than two more weeks, if she was lucky. It was getting impossible to breathe, her joints ached, making it hard to move, and she had been having seizures. No, there was not much time left.

“Still alive, your Majesty?” She could have sworn she heard Rumple, but she did not see him. _Am I hallucinating?_ She expected those to begin eventually, if only to help her brain cope with the pain and knowledge that she would soon die.

“Are you attempting to mess with my mind, Rumple?” Regina asked the air, if only to find out if she was having auditory hallucinations or not.

“I really don’t have a need to do that, your Majesty,” he pointed out, appearing in her hallway.

Regina frowned, not comfortable at all with his ability to come and go as he pleased. He could appear by her bedside and kill her in her sleep. Of course, there was no need for that since he had already killed her.

“Don’t worry, my dear. I would never enter a woman’s bedroom without an invitation,” he told her with a smile.

“Putting you one step above a vampire,” Regina deadpanned.

He laughed. “And you appear to be one step below, a cross between zombie and completely walking corpse.”

Regina took a deep breath and did her best to stand tall, even though every single cell in her body screamed in utter agony. “No, as I still live and breathe. You’ve failed, Rumple. Accept it.”

“Failed? No. You, dearie, are very much on your way out. It boggles the mind that you managed to live a month, but you are quite dead, Regina. I suppose I should have known someone with your… resilience and stubborn nature would take longer than the average person to depart, but it’s easy to see you don’t have much longer. I think I’ll come back in a few days and see what vermin made it to your body first,” he said before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

Regina growled to herself. She had more than a few days and he would be surely disappointed when he returned to find her still alive. But, eventually, one day soon, he would pop in and be right. She would be dead. But, there was still so much to do.

She figured it was time to take the bull by the horns while she still could. Before Rumplestiltskin’s little visit, she planned to walk to Snow’s apartment while she still could walk. She managed to get dressed, putting on her loosest shirt, so it did not rub up against her skin too much and irritate her rotting flesh. It was still torture to put on and she could barely fasten three of the buttons. Her skirt was just as bad and it did not even fit. Looping a belt around it did not help because she could feel it digging into her waist, cutting into her paper-thin skin and soaking her clothing in blood. She ignored it. _I’m going to go see my damn son_.

She did not have a pair of shoes that she could wear because everything had a heel. Searching her closet, she found some sandals that she should be able to slip into and walk in. Just getting dressed and putting shoes on made her short of breath and she sat down on her bed. It was possible that her encounter with the damned imp drained her, but she refused to give him that much credit. It took her nearly ten minutes to feel up to walking downstairs.

Once downstairs, she was ready to walk out the door, but she glanced out of the part of the window not boarded up and noticed the teenagers from before outside. She moved out of sight and wondered what they were up to. She knew Emma had introduced herself to one of them, Swift. She doubted Emma knew Swift was also known as Jack Dawkins, better known as the Artful Dodger. He was not the type of person to commit a burglary, more a pickpocket and con artist by trade, but he and his friends seemed very interested in the house.

The teens were there for a while and Regina decided to call Emma. She watched them go to the side of the house and then decided to go upstairs. She was in no shape to fight off four teenagers and she was in no shape to intimidate them either. She could not get up the stairs very quickly, though. She heard them coming in through the back door.

“Emma, pick up,” she begged her phone as she rushed as much as she could. Her legs felt like they were going to give out and her lungs felt like they were literally on fire.

“Oh, my god! It’s the Evil Queen!” one of the boys shouted, pointing to her barely halfway up the stairs.

“What the fuck? I thought she escaped,” another said.

“Not now she won’t.”

“We can be the heroes once we bring her in.”

Regina felt her blood run cold, as she doubted they would “bring her in.” Not alive anyway. Of course, she was about to die in a few weeks anyway. But, she needed to see her son before she did.

Before she even realized it, the boys were on her. They yanked at her ankles, causing her to fall and her head smashed against the stairs, breaking her jaw. They pulled her down and she could hardly scream as they beat on her. Her body was already frail and her bones were brittle. She could feel them shatter under the boys’ booted feet. There was laughter along with the kicks and then some of them walked off.

They were not gone long, returning with her broom and mop, beating her with the handles. She heard a sickening crack and throw up before she blacked out.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma looked at her phone and saw Regina was calling her. She answered, but Regina did not say anything. She could hear a commotion in the background and what sounded like Regina groaning. She turned her cruiser around, thinking Regina might have fallen down the stairs or something. Imagine her surprise to find the mayor being brutalized by Swift and his friends.

“Hey, what the fuck are you doing?” Emma demanded, pulling her gun.

“Teaching the Evil Queen a lesson,” one of the boys answered.

“Step the fuck away from her or you’re going to regret it,” Emma promised, aiming at their leader.

Swift smiled. “Come on, Sheriff. Have you been protecting this animal the whole time?” He motioned down the bleeding mayor.

“What makes you any less of an animal than she is? You all had to see that she weighs about as much as a wet sack and yet here you are beating on a fallen woman,” Emma pointed out. “I know this doesn’t count as chivalry where you’re from.”

He laughed. “You’re actually sticking up for her? Comparing us to her? She kidnapped and brainwashed all of us!”

“Yeah, and believe it or not, around here, there’s this thing called due process. It doesn’t involve home invasion and beating the shit out of someone. So, step away from Regina or I will shoot first and ask questions later,” Emma promised them.

The boys looked at each other and then at Regina. They then turned all of their attention to Swift. He kept his attention on Emma. She aimed her gun at him and then thought the better of it, turning the gun to one of the lessers. Swift would probably call her bluff, but not one of the other boys.

“You like your kneecaps?” Emma inquired with a smirk.

The boy she aimed at, he gulped and then he ran off. She did the same with the other boys and, apparently, they liked their kneecaps more than their leader because they left Swift high and dry. Swift stood tall, chin up.

“You think I won’t shoot you, don’t you?” Emma asked.

“I know you won’t,” he replied.

“You think I haven’t shot anyone before? It’s foolish to assume,” Emma commented with a smirk.

“You’re the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White,” he stated smugly.

“That only makes me want to shoot you more. Maybe in the shoulder,” Emma said. She glanced down at Regina, the broken, bloody body and realized she did not have time to play around with him. She fired at him and he shouted in shock, throwing his hands up.

“Are you crazy?” he screamed, ducking.

“The next shot will not miss,” she vowed.

He ran off, which was wise because she was not lying. She put her gun away and fell to Regina’s side. She was scared to even touch the smaller woman. It just did not look good. There was blood everywhere and Regina was tucked into a ball, unconscious.

“Shit, who to call?” Emma wondered. Doctor Whale was out. She could risk putting Regina in the car and driving to the ER. Maybe Doctor Tremaine was working, but she was not sure if that was the best idea. “Morgan!” Emma suddenly realized. Morgan would be able to poof here and then maybe do some magic to help Regina. “Shit, I need Regina’s phone.”

Looking around, Emma tried to figure out where Regina had been when she called, when the attack started. Glancing at the steps, she noticed blood smears. Her stomach turned as she marched up the stairs, seeing blood and hair halfway up. She found Regina’s phone on the middle step. Putting in the password, she rushed through the contacts.

“Yes, Regina, my love,” Morgan purred into the phone.

Emma growled. “What the hell kind of greeting is that?”

There was soft, almost creepy chuckle. “Oh, not Regina. Sheriff?”

“You need to get here. Regina’s been attacked.”

“What kind of care are you taking of her?” Morgan inquired and she sounded kind of angry.

Emma did not have a chance to respond as a puff of maroon smoke appeared in front of her. Morgan stood before her as soon as the vapor cleared. Emma just pointed down the stairs. Morgan turned sharply and then literally floated down to Regina.

“You poor, poor baby,” Morgan muttered, brushing Regina’s hair and watching it fall to the floor.

“Can you help her?” Emma begged.

“I can do… something. My god, this is… I have seen things, Sheriff. Horrible, terrifying things, but this…” Morgan did not bother to finish, running a pale hand over Regina’s bloody face.

“She means a lot to you, doesn’t she?” Emma asked. Morgan touched Regina with such tender care.

“She means something. I’ll do what I can, but you should bring her son. There’s no telling how much time she has left now. Bring her son,” Morgan requested in a shockingly soft voice.

Emma could only nod. She ran off, not sure if Regina was even alive. She just trusted that Morgan would not tell her to bring Henry to see his mother’s dead body. Lights blaring on her cruiser, she was not sure she had ever gotten to the loft so quickly. Taking the stairs three at a time, she practically fell into the doorway.

“Henry!” Emma called.

“Hello, right here,” Henry smiled and waved from his spot on the couch.

“Come on, get your stuff. We gotta go,” Emma insisted, moving to him and pulling him to his feet.

“What? Where are we going?” Henry asked, trying to look at her and move forward while she pushed him.

“Just put your coat on. We gotta go,” Emma stated.

“What’s going on?” Snow asked. “Henry and I were going to meet David in the park.”

“Later. Right now, we need to go,” Emma said.

Henry and Snow both appeared confused, but Emma did not explain. She knew the second she said what was going on, she would get arguments and questions and Henry would probably refuse to go. Instead, she yanked him out of the apartment as soon as he had his coat on. Snow ran behind them, clearly wanting to know what was going on. Emma did not bother to stop Snow and did not object when Snow jumped into the back of the patrol car. She sped off, back to Regina’s side.

Her heart was in her throat the whole time. What if Regina was dead? What then? Well, she had just inherited a son that she was scared she would ruin without Regina to help raise him. There was still so much she needed to learn from Regina, about Regina. _God, I don’t want her to die. I actually want to spend more time with her_.

“Why are we at Mom’s house?” Henry demanded, scowling at Emma.

“Because we need to be. Now, come on!” Emma practically ordered as she jumped out of the car and it rolled. She forgot to put it in park. “Shit,” she hissed and changed the gear to the proper setting.

“Emma, what’s going on?” Henry asked.

“You’ll see. Just come on.” Emma put out her hand for him and he took it.

They entered the house; Snow standing behind the mother and son. Emma went to the living room and found Regina lying on the sofa, covered by a thin blanket with her eyes closed. Morgan stood behind the couch, leaning on the back of it, speaking softly to Regina. Emerald eyes glanced up as the family walked deeper into the living room.

“Emma, what’s going on?” Henry asked again, his voice shaking.

“Regina, your dear boy is here to see you,” Morgan whispered, running her knuckle down Regina’s cheek.

Emma frowned, disliking how familiar Morgan was with Regina. If she was so friendly, why had she not been here for Regina? Why was there affection and sorrow in her eyes, but she had not helped since giving Regina the potion?

“Henry?” Regina breathed out. She managed to open one eye, which was bloodshot and swollen.

“Mom?” Henry’s voice quivered.

“Henry.” Regina raised a shaking arm.

“Go to her,” Emma whispered, gently pushing the boy forward.

Henry nodded mutely and practically waddled over to the sofa. Emma backed out into the foyer, wanting to give mother and son some time alone. Morgan vanished in a dark red cloud and Snow retreated with Emma.

“Emma, who was that woman?” Snow asked in a low voice. Her hands were folded in front of her, but they were shaking.

Emma shrugged. “Her name’s Morgan and Regina claimed she was her personal doctor, but I don’t think that’s true.”

Snow only nodded, as if she just needed to do something. Emma reached out and held Snow’s hand. Snow held on tight and sniffled. Emma was not sure what she would do if Snow started crying. She already had Henry to worry about. _Maybe he’s not the only one losing a mother, though_.

-8-8-8-8-

“Mom…” Henry started and then paused, eyes just staring down at Regina.

Regina wished she could pull herself together, but it was impossible at this point. Morgan had healed up most of her injuries from those boys, but she could not stop the wasting curse and the beating had only made things worse. Morgan thought Regina was probably in her final week or so. Ten days if she was lucky, Morgan had said. Regina could only wonder what would happen when she only had days left because at this point, everything was bad.

Suddenly, Henry’s face sobered and he leveled a glare at her. “You… you can stop faking. You’re not fooling anyone.” He swallowed so hard she could see his throat move.

“Henry,” Regina sighed. He was not trying to be hurtful, she could tell. He was purposely glaring, but his eyes were wet. “Henry, you have to accept—” she did not get a chance to finish.

“No, this is a trick! You stop trying to trick us and get up!” Henry demanded, pointing to the floor.

Regina gave him a sad smile. “I wish I could, Henry. I really wish I could.”

“You’re lying,” he insisted, shaking his head.

“Henry,” she started, but had to stop as a harsh cough shook her body. Blood shot out of her mouth and nose. Henry’s eyes went wide and he jumped back. She leaned over and grabbed a tissue, hoping to stop the blood flow and keep from horrifying her poor son anymore.

“Mom?” Henry’s voice cracked.

“Henry,” she managed in a weak voice. “I want you to know that no matter what I love you. I lied to you many times, but I want you to know I was trying to protect both of us. Yes, I wanted to protect my curse, but I also wanted to keep you from knowing because I wanted you to live a normal life, to be a normal child.”

For a moment, Henry opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His chin trembled and he hid his face in his hand while his other hand made a fist. When he dropped his hand, he gnawed on his bottom lip. He appeared so lost, like he did not know what to do. He surprised her when he finally figured it out.

Henry stepped forward and grabbed her hand, holding tight. Tears leaked out of his eyes. “None of that matters, Mom. You can get better, right? I mean, there’s magic here now. So, you can get better. Your friend even just did magic.” He sounded hopeful, but frantic at the same time. His hand that held her trembled.

Regina gave him a sorrow smile. “Magic won’t help.”

His eyes lit up as he got an idea. “What about True Love’s kiss? That breaks all curses. It even broke this one!”

Shaking her head, she patted his hand with her free one. “My True Love died a long time ago, Henry.” Not to mention, she was not sure even that could break this particular curse. It had not come up in her research.

“But… but… but… I love you, Mom!” he declared and he leaned over, kissing her forehead. He stepped back with an eager expression on his face.

She was not surprised that she did not feel any different. Coughing, she put a new tissue to her mouth and nose to catch whatever bodily fluid leaked out. She would not be surprised to find her brain in one of the tissues. She watched as his happy expression melted into total despair.

“But… I do love you, Mom,” he whispered, his mouth drawn down in a manner that reminded her of Emma. His nose ran and a torrent of tears streamed down his face.

“I know. I don’t doubt it, my little prince,” she replied. Not now anyway, even if he did not break her curse. His heart was too troubled by the knowledge of who she really was for him to love her completely. Besides, he still felt like she had done injustices to him and he was right about that.

“Mom, we gotta do something. You can’t just… You can’t just…” He broke down into sobs and fell on her, possibly breaking one of her ribs. She held onto him anyway.

She hated thinking that this was how she wanted to die, with Henry holding her and loving her. She could slip away right now, the pain could end, and she would actually die happy. She was about to close her eyes, thinking she might be able to will death, but then fear gripped her.

She was not ready to go. She did not want to leave Henry. She did not want to leave Emma. Where was Emma?

“Emma?” Regina called, her voice even lower now.

“I’m right here, Regina,” Emma replied, marching in the room and standing at the back of the sofa. She reached down and rubbed Henry’s back with one hand and rubbed Regina’s forehead. “You okay?”

Tears slid down Regina’s face. “No…” she admitted. She wanted to live and have this, have Henry love her and have Emma there for her. _Why did I get this now? Why is it always the wrong time for me? Always too late for me?_

“Do you need something, Mom?” Henry asked.

“No,” she answered.

“Yes, you do. Tell us what you need, Regina. You know I’ll try to get it for you,” Emma said.

“I just want this,” Regina answered. “I just want this.”

Henry nodded and Emma smiled. Regina tried to hold onto the feeling for as long as possible, but she fell asleep barely a minute later.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma had to lift Henry off of Regina. She noticed how hard the smaller woman was breathing and she feared that Henry was only making it worse. He did not want to leave her, though, and just fell to her side, holding her hand as soon as he was off of her body. Emma did not move him.

“Emma, Mom’s not really going to die, right?” Henry asked, his eyes never leaving his sleeping mother.

“We’re doing our best to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Emma answered.

“I kissed her, like you did me,” he told her. “It didn’t cure her.”

Emma put her hand on his shoulder. “It doesn’t mean you don’t love her. Even the Blue Fairy said there’s no cure.” _But, of course, she could be lying, the fucking bitch_.

“But, True Love’s kiss is supposed to break every curse. It’s supposed to!” he insisted, balling his hands into frustrated fists.

“Well, no one said anything about it breaking this curse, so maybe it just doesn’t work for this one,” Emma answered.

Frowning, he nodded. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

She would not call him a liar on that. “Henry, a lot of this place doesn’t make any sense anymore. So, even though you found out a lot from the book, maybe it doesn’t have everything and that’s why you’re not an expert on magic.”

“Who cursed her?”

Emma shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Maybe that person can cure her.”

 _Wow, he thinks like me. Is thinking genetic?_ “He won’t.”

“How do you know?” he huffed.

“I tried, kid,” she sighed.

“We’ve got to do something. We can’t just let her die!” He looked up at her with stricken, red-rimmed eyes. “What am I going to do without my mom?” he begged. “What?”

Emma felt her heart break for him. She was not sure what to do, beyond hold him close and wait for him to move. It took several long minutes, but eventually he let go of Regina’s hand.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Henry requested.

“Yeah, we both can stay,” she answered. She did not want him to be here caring for Regina alone. He did not need that kind of responsibility. Besides, those boys might come back and endanger Henry. If they did, she was definitely shooting first and not a warning shot like before.

“You gotta take Grams back home,” he pointed out.

“Oh, yeah.” She forgot Snow had tagged along with them. “You want to take the ride back with me?”

“I really don’t want to leave her alone right now.”

Emma nodded, figuring that would be the case. He probably had a lot he wanted to say to her that he did not want anyone to hear, too. It would not be a long trip, but she would prefer not to leave him or Regina alone. She wondered if Morgan would be willing to babysit. Searching for Regina’s phone, she made the call.

“You know, Sheriff, I’m going to assume you like me if you keep this up,” Morgan remarked.

“Do you think you can watch Regina for me while I drive my mother home?” Emma asked.

“Oh, are you sure you want to be indebted to me?” Morgan asked with a purr.

“Maybe it’s you who wants to be owed a favor by me.”

“Oh, bold, Sheriff, very bold. I can see why Regina likes you. I suppose I can do you this favor. I have nothing better to do,” Morgan admitted nonchalantly.

“You mean the townies are leaving you alone? I was under the impression thou shalt not suffer a witch to live was like a slogan around here.”

“No, Sheriff, the Queen has all of their attention. I doubt they even realize I’m here. Of course, if they did, they would be wise to stay away, even that damned dirty imp.” Morgan appeared before Emma in a puff of smoke and a devilish smile on her face. “Of course, I might pay him a visit soon.”

Emma put her phone away. “That makes two of us.”

Morgan chuckled and then glanced into the living room. She did not make any move to go inside, probably wanting to Henry and Regina time alone. Emma led Snow out of the door. Snow was unusually quiet on the ride home, clenching and unclenching her hand. Emma was not sure what to say to her mother.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Emma asked.

Snow shook her head. “She’s really…” She swallowed hard.

“Yeah, really. Henry tried to cure her with True Love’s kiss and it didn’t work. Now, I have to worry about him going through life thinking he didn’t love her enough to save her.” Emma scowled at the thought. He was going to need so much therapy and the only therapist on Earth that would believe he was not hallucinating or completely bonkers was Doctor Hopper.

“No, tell him there’s no cure. The Blue Fairy said so. There’s no cure,” Snow repeated, as if needing to remind herself.

“I told him that, but I’m not sure if he believed it.” _I’m not sure I believe it. There’s all this magic and bullshit around here, but somehow Regina has the one thing that can’t be stopped. Bullshit doesn’t even begin to cover it_.

“Maybe you should have the Blue Fairy tell him.”

Emma nodded; that did not sound like a bad idea, even though she did not want to be near that bitch. Henry was just more likely to believe the head fairy than anyone else right now. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about this?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. My enemy is dying,” Snow said.

“There’s more to it than that,” Emma stated. She could see in Snow’s demeanor, how slouched she was and curled into herself, that her history with Regina was not so simple.

“No, there’s not,” Snow replied and she practically jumped out of the car as they pulled up to the building. Snow all but ran out of the car.

Emma sighed and shook her head. She did not have enough in her to chase Snow. Being with Regina had all but drained her, but watching Henry realize his mother was dying had taken everything else that she had. Henry would get whatever else was left, so she returned to him and his ailing mother.

“You stayed here the whole time?” Emma asked Morgan, who was standing where Emma had left her.

“I wanted to keep them in sight, but I fear I’ve intruded on his private conversation. He spent the whole time apologizing to her for his behavior and even for breaking the curse, even though as I’ve come to understand it, this was his big adventure with you for the past year,” Morgan replied.

Emma frowned. “Is he blaming himself for her dying?”

“He is.”

“Can you… talk to him? Tell him it’s not his fault? You’re a witch, so you know magic and he’ll believe you,” Emma said and she knew she was asking a lot.

Morgan sighed. “You’re lucky I have a soft spot for sons.”

Emma was not sure what that meant, but she watched Morgan stroll into the living room. Morgana stood next to Henry, who was staring down at Regina. Morgan ran her hand through Henry’s hair, causing him to look up at her.

“Henry, I’m a friend of your mothers,” Morgan said.

He looked a little suspicious and even more confused. “Which one?”

“Both of them. They’ve both sort of grown on me. I knew Regina first, though, back in the old world.”

“You lived in the Enchanted Forest?” he asked.

She offered him a small smile. “No, far from it. One day, when your mother was young, she escaped the castle and made it very far, all the way to my lands, which were north of the Forest.”

He relaxed a bit. “How did you meet her?”

“I sensed her doing magic.”

He nodded. “You’re a witch, too?”

“I suppose you could call me that. In the old world, I was known as Morgana Le Fay. Have you heard of me?” she asked, a smirk tugging at her lips.

He nodded. “Of course. You’re in King Arthur.”

“The stories over here don’t do me justice,” she boasted with a smirk.

“You’re a bad guy.”

She waved it off. “Well, by those stories, but that’s neither here nor there. The important thing is that I know magic. The curse your mother has cannot be cured with True Love’s kiss.”

His face scrunched up. “That doesn’t make any sense. The book said True Love’s kiss always works. It broke the Dark Curse that you were all under.”

“This is different. Very different.”

His face scrunched up. “How? It’s magic, just like the other curse.”

“I’ll be honest with you. Magic works very differently here. There could be any number of factors as to why your kiss was unable to cure her. Perhaps, it won’t work because you’re just a child.”

His face twisted even more. “What does that have to do with anything?”

She shrugged lightly, as if she had no clue. “Now, this is just a theory since magic is quite odd around here. While your love is pure, it’s pure because you’re a child and that’s just not strong enough for this curse. True Love is a born from someone who has seen the worst in a person, felt the worst of a person and can still love them anyway. While you have read the book, you have actually seen the best of her your mother and don’t completely understand her worse. You’re just not quite old enough to understand this complex emotion, so therefore it doesn’t work.”

He frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“No more sense than your mother dying right before your eyes from a curse no one has seen in the last thousand years, but here we stand. The world doesn’t make any sense, Henry. Some of us unfortunately learn this earlier than others. Your mother did her best to shield you from it, but she can’t stop everything,” she said calmly.

Sniffling, he rubbed his eyes. “I just want her to get better.”

“I do, too,” Morgan admitted, patting his shoulder. It should have appeared awkward, but instead, it looked familiar, as if Morgan comforted children before. “I know you might not believe it, but there are people in town that don’t wish this fate on her and there are even some that hold no grudge against her.”

His eyes watered. “Really?”

“Yes, and above all else, never doubt that she loved you because she did.” Morgan brushed her hand across his cheek. “You were her world.”

He sniffled and then burst into tears. Emma rushed in as Morgan disappeared. She wrapped in a hug and he buried his head in her chest. Even though she felt that could have gone better, she thought that Morgan did the best she could and it would help down the road. Henry needed to know this was not his fault. No, this was that damned Mr. Gold. He had done this.

Mr. Gold stole Henry’s mother from him. More than that, Mr. Gold had corrupted what was once a kind girl. He was the evil one. Regina was just a byproduct and now she was dying and Henry was broken. Emma felt lost, so she just held onto Henry and hoped the feel of him acted as her north star, so they could both find their way out of despair.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Emma snaps.


	12. Could have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

12: Could have

Regina could not lie down anymore. If she lied on her back, it was impossible for her to breathe. Of course, sitting up was not much better, but she was less likely to drown in her own mucus if she was sitting up. Added to that, she could barely stand up anymore.

Her knees were in constant pain, as if it was bone grinding against bone. Her legs were thin now and could not hold her up. It looked like her muscles had all but crumbled in her jaundiced, irritated skin with nearly purple veins running through them, making her lower limbs look like a topographic map of decay. The bones were visible now from weeks of not eating. Her stomach missed food and hunger pains gripped her all the time, but she still could not keep anything down. Of course, even if she could, she would not be able to chew considering more of her teeth had fallen out that morning.

The inability to walk and how hard it was to breathe led to next problem that Regina knew was part of the curse. She needed to use the bathroom, but she was trapped on the sofa. Even if she could walk, it would take her roughly twenty minutes to get to the downstairs bathroom, which was barely twenty feet away. She knew this because she had taken the journey before her legs could not longer support her.

“Mom, do you need something?” Henry asked as he set himself up in the living room. He had just come in from school and put his books on the coffee table. This was his routine since he decided he was staying.

“No, I’m all right,” she lied. She would try to make this trip because she did not want to worry Henry. She also did not want him to see her urinate on the couch.

She was happy that he decided to stay, even if they could not do much together. He spoke to her once he could think of things to say, mostly filling her in on what he had been up to. He was quite taken with his grandfather, which was made sense, but still irked Regina. She would deal with it for the rest of her life, if only she still had a life to spare to be with her son. They had not spoken about much beyond that. He continued to struggle with starting conversations and she struggled with staying alive.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“No. I’m quite fine. You should start your homework,” she replied. Now, she needed to do something before he figured out something we wrong.

Gritting her teeth and then taking a deep breath, Regina gripped the sofa arm and then pushed herself up. Her blanket fell away from her, revealing a frail frame dressed in one of Emma’s oversized t-shirts. It was best to wear that as it did not inflame her rotting skin and it covered most of her body from Henry, so he could not see just how bad she was. Of course, what he could see, her face, hands, arms, legs, and feet were not good.

He glanced at her, but had learned in the past couple of days in his stay that looking at her made her uncomfortable. So, he tried not to do it, but it was impossible. She was just a sight. Most of her hair had already fallen out and now pieces of her scalp were following it. Her hands reminded her of a cheetah, black spots covering them. She could practically see the indents of her bones through her tight, breaking skin.

“Mom, you want help?” he offered.

“No, I’ve got it,” she answered, taking another deep breath. She managed a few steps, but her legs shook and her entire chest hurt. She collapsed hard to the floor.

“Mom!” Henry cried and fell to her side. “Are you all right?”

Regina just wanted to cry, but she managed to hold it in. She did not want to scare him any more than she had already. She did not know what to do. She did not want this to be his last image of her. This broken, bloody, emaciated form would be what he saw whenever he thought of her. She could not stand that. _Damn you, Rumplestiltskin_. She knew this was just what he wanted. Her complete and utter suffering had been achieved.

“Mom, are you okay?” Henry asked again.

“I’m fine, Henry,” she lied. She would never be fine again. Her son finally wanted to spend time with her, but she could not get off of the couch and she could barely talk. He would watch her waste away.

“Let me help you up,” he offered and put her arm around his shoulders. It was in this moment, she realized she would not live to see these shoulders broaden or hear his voice change. He lifted her with no problem because she weighed practically nothing now.

“Promise me, Henry, you’ll grow up into a good man,” she said, even though she knew he would. She just did not want him to be “good” by Enchanted Forest standards. She wanted him to be truly good, like Emma. Someone who struggled with right and wrong, but managed to do the right thing when it mattered and who knew how to treat people.

He smiled at her, the precious smile she had missed over the past year. “You know I will.” She nodded and he helped her back to the couch. Easing her down, he remained in front of her. “Do you want something? Is that why you got up?”

“No, I’m fine,” she lied. She was not sure what she would do about the bathroom, but she felt like she could hold it. Emma would be in soon. “Can you call Emma and find out when she’ll be by?”

Henry nodded and grabbed her cellphone. The call was quick and he smiled at the end. “She said she’ll be here in about fifteen minutes. She’s getting lunch.”

Regina nodded; she should be able to hold it that long. “All right. So, what’s this you’re working on?”

“Just some science work. You want to see?”

She nodded again and he moved, so she could help him with his work. It reminded her of when he first started school. He liked sharing what he was doing. Sometimes, she had time for it and sometimes she did not. She wished now that she had always made time.

“Henry, I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He turned to her and squinted. “Sorry for what?”

“For not spending more time with you. I let my job come first some time and you deserved better.”

He smiled. “Mom, I think you did a good job. I’ve got more memories of you sitting and explaining things to me than I do of you running out because of town business.” He glanced down shyly for a moment. “I’ve gotten a chance to speak to a lot of kids at school and it helped me realize I was lucky to have you. I mean, between here and the Enchanted Forest, some of the kids tell me how their parents hit them or yell at them or how they didn’t even have parents back home, but they got some good ones during the Curse.”

Regina smiled as best she could. Even though the Curse was about taking away happy endings from the “good guys” and giving them to the “bad guys,” some things went beyond that. Children deserved good homes.

“Those children who didn’t have parents, have their Cursed parents kept them?” she asked curiously. _Please, just let that have happened. Children deserve good homes_. But, then again, without their Cursed selves being in complete control, some of those homes probably were not very good anymore.

“Some of them. Others…” He frowned and glanced away. “Well, not so much.”

“That’s a shame.” She wished those people knew how lucky they were to have children. “You know, you are all I ever wanted.” She ran a quivering hand through his hair.

“I know now, Mom. I know now.” He glanced away. “I wish… I just… I don’t want you to go, Mom.” He reached over and touched her.

Regina almost winced, but she caught it in time. “I don’t want to go either. I want so much more time with you, Henry. So much more time.” Tears stung her eyes, but she kept them at bay.

Swallowing loudly, Henry nodded and they were quiet for a long while. Henry then went back to his homework, allowing her to help. Emma came in with fast food, which was expected. She handed the bag over to Henry as she rubbed his head as a greeting.

“I’ll go get plates!” Henry volunteered and he dashed off, as if knowing his mothers needed time alone.

“How’s it going?” Emma asked, face drawn and tense as she took in the sight of Regina on the couch. Regina could not help wondering what Emma saw when she looked at her.

“I need to use the bathroom,” Regina reported on a low, shamed tone. She put her head down for a moment, but then had to look up, needing to gauge Emma’s reaction.

Emma’s brow wrinkled in confusion for a second. “Oh, you couldn’t make it?” She glanced in the direction of the bathroom.

“I tried,” Regina insisted with a tear falling from her eye. She needed Emma to know that she was not being lazy or a pest. She had tried.

“Shh,” Emma cooed. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I tried and I fell and Henry had to pick me up and, ye gods, I need help going to the bathroom!” Regina burst into tears. This was only going to get worse in her final days, so much worse.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Emma tried to soothe her as she carefully gathered Regina in her arms. She carried Regina to the bathroom and sat her on the toilet.

“I can’t believe you’re doing all of this,” Regina said.

Emma shrugged. “You’ve grown on me, like a tumor,” she teased.

Regina chuckled, mostly from her throat because her face cracked too easily with movement. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Emma grinned; it was a dopey, lopsided grin that Regina wished she could see more of. “It’s no problem. I don’t have better things to do.”

Regina smiled as best she could. She appreciated throughout all of this, Emma tried to keep things normal, even though things would never be normal again. She wished they had more time to explore this thing that had grown between them, this support and longing, but she supposed that was just as well. She was poison; Henry had proven that. All she could do was hurt people that she cared about and she was sure that was true of Emma since the moment Emma decided Regina was some worth giving a damn about.

 _Look at what I’ve put her through and this was just for a month._ Emma looked more and more worse for wear as their time together went on, bags under her eyes and her hair frayed. _She’s had to sit around and watch me decay._ It was enough to take a toll on anyone and Emma was no exception, but she seemed to be handling it better than most would imagine. _I know I didn’t ask her to at first, but now I need her and she’s there for me, slowly watching me waste away. How is that fair?_

Regina knew she could not send Emma away because Emma would not leave. Emma would not let her go through this alone. This touched her in ways that she thought were dead, but they would soon be dead, so she did not think about them. Instead, she finished her business and Emma carried her back to the couch.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma dragged her feet as she ushered Henry into the cruiser to take him to school in the morning. He was quiet, as he had been since they both decided to stay at Regina’s. She did not know what to say to him. _What do you say when your kid is watching his mother die right in front of him?_ She did not know and she knew Regina had already said whatever she thought would help. It was not enough if the dark circles under Henry’s eyes meant anything.

“Do you think if I wished on a star it would help?” he asked as they pulled up his school.

“You could try. I don’t know how magic works. But, you should know your mom has already said magic works differently here,” Emma told him.

Sighing, he nodded. “Yeah, Morgan told me that, too. A couple of times.”

Emma arched an eyebrow. “You talked to her?”

“She popped by when Mom was asleep and you hadn’t come in yet. I think she’s upset that Mom’s gonna… go.”

Emma was not surprised by that news. She wondered what history the Evil Queen and Morgana Le Fay had, but she did not pry. Henry got out of the car and Emma went to work, thoughts of Regina and Henry clouding her mind as usual.

“In a perfect world, we’d just be a family and that would be that,” Emma muttered.

This brought a smile to her face. She would not mind co-parenting with Regina. She could see them sitting together, talking, maybe even going out. She could see time spent cuddling and maybe even going a step further than that, under more normal circumstances. Regina was not bad when she was not trying to be in complete control. She hated that she would like to continue seeing this side of Regina, but Regina was dying. Their family was dying before it was even a family. They were dying before they were even a they.

“I would’ve liked this family,” she commented. Yes, it was something she always wanted, but having it right now and watching it slip through her fingers, slowly. Her family was bleeding out, decaying.

Shaking that thought away, Emma tried to focus on her patrol. The town was almost back to normal, things were almost normal, and that was more than most expected. She should be able to appreciate this. Still, her mind drifted. She wanted to do something for Henry, but nothing came to mind. She was not sure how to help him.

“I wonder what families do when one of the parents is dying from cancer. I’m surprised I don’t have a reference for this considering all the shitty homes I’ve lived in.” Part of her was happy to have avoided such a home. It was bad enough watching Regina die.

After a while, she decided she needed more coffee. She pulled up to Granny’s and saw Doctor Hopper entering, which she thought was good luck. He might be able to help her with Henry.

When she got into Granny’s, there were quite a few people in there. She would not have thought anything of it if only one of those people were not the Blue Fairy. She frowned at the nun, but did not say anything as she went to the counter to order. Yet, Mother Superior came up to her anyway.

“Emma, how is Regina doing?” she asked, daring to stand within an arm’s length of Emma, as if she did not know how badly the blonde wanted to strangle her.

Emma did not bother to look at her. “Why do you care? Can’t wait to dance on her grave after not helping her once again? Want to salt the Earth where I bury her?”

“There is no way to help her,” the nun insisted.

Emma scoffed. “Not that you were going to try. I mean, look how quickly you rushed to her side.” Regina’s sarcasm must have rubbed off on her. “I’m surprised you didn’t at least try to pitch your True Love bullshit.”

Mother Superior frowned. “The Queen has no one, but she saw to that herself with her actions. You might not want to believe it, but she is pure darkness. She has always been pure darkness.”

“Fuck you. No one is pure darkness from the start,” Emma declared and, of course, she drew attention with that. Everyone inside, including Ruby and Granny, stared at the scene.

Mother Superior tensed and bristled. “You have let her poison your mind, Emma. The Queen is pure darkness.”

“You tell her, sister!” Leroy cheered, holding up his glass. A few others concurred with murmurs.

Emma rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah, because the town drunk knows everything there is to know about what’s happening here. Shut the fuck up.”

“I’d rather be a drunk than evil like that bitch. Why the hell are you even defending her? Do you know what she put your parents through? You some kind of traitor?” he demanded, marching up to her. He stared her down and she returned the glare.

“No, but I don’t make it a point to judge someone unless I know them and I don’t think any of you know her, so shut the hell up,” Emma replied.

“I know she killed a bunch of people and you siding with her doesn’t make any sense. Maybe this is why the Curse didn’t break all the way because you’re some kind of Evil Queen loving lezzie,” Leroy declared, going to far as putting his finger in her face.

Scowling, Emma wished he would put his hand on her, so she could put him in the floor. “Maybe the Curse didn’t fully break because no one here deserves it,” she countered. “You’re all a bunch selfish, self-righteous hypocritical assholes.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, I guess the Queen deserves to die then and I hope she dies as painfully as possible,” Leroy growled and he poked her in the chest.

Anger flared and exploded inside of Emma. _Who the hell is this guy to say someone, anyone, deserved to die, especially the way Regina was dying?_ Emma’s fist flew without her permission and Leroy ended up on his ass. Emma leaned over him, enjoying the sight of blood dripping from his nose.

“That’s my fucking kid’s mother! You don’t know what the fuck we’re going through!” she snarled, hoping he would get back up, so she could plant him on his ass again.

Archie came out of nowhere and grabbed Emma around the shoulders. He led Emma out of the diner to a nearby bench. They sat down and Emma leaned her elbows onto her knees. She put her head in her hands, trying to calm her breathing.

“How are you holding up, Emma?” Archie asked.

“I’m okay,” she replied and it sounded hollow to her own ears.

“Are you sure? It has to be hard being the only caregiver for a dying woman.”

Emma scowled. “How do you even know she’s dying? Who told you?” She bet that damned kid Swift told everyone.

“I’ve heard rumors going around, but you just confirmed for the whole diner that those rumors are true. How long has she been sick?” he asked, almost as if he cared. But, he could not care, could he? No one cared except her, Henry, Morgan, and maybe Snow White. Everyone else was glad she was dying… right?

Sighing, Emma sat back. “About a month, month and a half. She’s doesn’t have much time left. Probably a few days.”

“You want to talk about it? It has to be difficult to watch her dying right before your eyes.”

“It is. She’s been so open and… I’m just seeing another side of her, a side I wish I could know more. She taught me how to cook, and sew, and do laundry where everything is so freaking soft, and shared memories of Henry with me. Hell, she shared with me without lies or excuses.”

He nodded. “You’re attached to her.”

She swallowed hard, which only her hurt throat. “And now she’s fucking dying.”

“She’s not leaving you on purpose, Emma.”

“Save me the psycho-babble, doc. I had a prison doctor tell me all about my abandonment issues. He was full of shit.”

Doctor Hopper frowned. “Are you sure about that? How do you feel about Regina dying? Beyond sorrow anyway. Are you upset with her for dying?”

“Of course I’m upset! The mother of my kid is dying and she was a freaking awesome mom! How am I supposed to fill her shoes? And why the hell does she have to die now? I mean, god, I still wanna do stuff with her. She’s not that bad when she just fucking slows down and isn’t trying to control the world, which she wouldn’t even be doing if someone had just stepped in and been there for her. I know how that is.”

“So, you connect with her and you want more time with her.”

Emma scoffed. “Duh. Wouldn’t you want more time with someone you connect with, especially if you have to raise a kid? The idea of being a single parent now is just as scary as when I was seventeen, even though this kid is freaking eleven years old. She was supposed to fight this. She was supposed to beat it. She shouldn’t leave Henry.”

“She shouldn’t leave you,” he said the addition that Emma could hear echoing in her mind.

“She shouldn’t. I’d take care of her just like I have been and I’d pull my weight with Henry. I’d do the cooking, just like she showed me, and all of the other shit. Hell, I’d even try to watch my language because I know she’s all proper and everything. I’d be there for her… if only she could be there.” Emma put her hands over her face. “If only someone would be there,” she muttered.

Archie patted her softly on the back. “Regina’s not going away voluntarily. I’m sure if she could, she’d stay with you and with Henry.”

“But, she won’t.”

“You should talk to her about this while you can.”

Emma shook her head. “That wouldn’t be fair to her. She shouldn’t have to die feeling guilty.”

“You don’t think she already feels that way?”

Emma sighed. “Probably.” Regina had to feel bad that she was leaving Henry, but part of Emma believed Regina felt the same for leaving her.

“Then you should talk to her. And you should talk to your parents.”

Emma turned to him. “What do they have to do with anything?”

“Didn’t they start all of this? Weren’t they the first to leave?” he pointed out.

She frowned. “Yeah, but all they tell me is how they had to do it and it was the only way and crap like that. I don’t want to hear that.”

“Then don’t settle for that. Make them dig deeper until you feel you can handle it,” he said.

Emma nodded. “Thanks, doc. Do you think… I mean… maybe I could come see you… sometime?” She was not a big believer in therapy. She felt like she should be able to work through her own crap, but there was something about Doctor Hopper that not only relaxed her, but gave her faith in him.

“Anytime. Tell Henry, too.”

She nodded again and he rose to his feet. Emma sighed and sat there for a while, just trying to collect her thoughts. She did need to talk to her parents and more than that she needed to talk to Regina. Their time was short and it felt like she had a million things to say, but she would get to the important things first. So, she made her way to the mansion and found a scattered crowd of people laid out outside. They look like they had been flung out of a catapult and rained down into the street.

“Morgan,” Emma chuckled and shook her head.

“You would think that after a while people would stop trying to get in, but they are idiots,” Morgan remarked as she appeared by Emma’s side. They walked in the house together.

“How long have you been guarding the house?” Emma asked.

“Whenever you leave since she was attacked. I don’t trust these people anymore than Regina does, than you do, I’m sure.”

Emma nodded. She would never trust this town again. Part of her was worried about letting Henry go to school now. What were they telling the poor kid there about his mom? He had not brought it up, but he might not want to make any more waves considering they had enough to think about with Regina.

“Ready to tell me why Regina is so important to you or do you want to continue pretending otherwise?” Emma inquired with an arched eyebrow.

Morgan stared at Emma for a while. “You were a street kid once, right?”

“In between foster homes.”

“You ever adopt a younger street kid or have an older one look out for you?”

“Both.”

“Witches do this as well. Regina was my little urchin, but she grew into more than that. I lost a son and she filled a hole in me. She didn’t replace him, but she gave me purpose and then she left, going off with that damned imp.” Morgan scowled.

“Are you angry she left?” Emma guessed.

Morgan shook her head. “No, I was angry that he was able to play her so well. I think this was the only way things could go by the time he took her. She didn’t want a normal life, or as normal as two witches would’ve had. She wanted power and revenge. Mostly revenge. It drove her mad.”

Emma nodded and then Morgan vanished. Emma went to Regina, who was asleep sitting up, as she had to now. Regina did not sleep long, mostly in hour spurts. She also did not stay awake long, taking much of her energy to breathe. Pox had appeared on her face that morning and boils ran along her neck. Neither Emma nor Henry mentioned it. They also did not mention her remaining teeth being black.

Emma decided to go eat something since she had not gotten anything at Granny’s. After eating, she went to check and make sure all of the doors and windows were locked. Everything seemed secure, so she went back to the living room to check on Regina, who was now awake, but still had her eyes closed.

“Emma, shouldn’t you be working?” Regina asked.

Emma sat down next to her. “I am. I just came to check on you. Well, to talk to you really.”

“What shall we talk about?” Regina inquired, taking a deep breath.

“Us.”

“Us?”

“Well, what could have been us, anyway. Do you ever think about or just feel it sometimes?” Emma asked curiously.

What passed as a smile for Regina now settled on her face. “Yes, I do, most often now that Henry is here. I think we would work.”

Emma nodded and smiled. “I think so, too. We’d get on each other’s nerves, though, too.”

“We would.”

“But, it would just make me love you more.”

Regina smiled a little more with her eyes still closed. “I would have enjoyed getting a chance to take care of you.”

“We’d fight a lot,” Emma said, taking Regina’s hand in hers.

“I’d worry that you’re going to run.”

“I’d think about it because in my head, eventually you’d leave me, like everyone else does.”

Regina took a breath and squeezed Emma’s hand. “I’ll always be here.”

“I wish that was true,” Emma whispered.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Snow White visits Regina.


	13. What if

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

13: What if

Regina could barely move, but she liked to talk when she was awake, even though she could barely breathe. Emma kept her wrapped in a thin blanket because she often complained about being cold, even though Emma insisted she was often warm. Emma decided to humor her with the hope it would make her feel better, but she was still quite cold. Regina wondered if it was possible to have a fever for the rest of her short life.

Henry sat with her from when he came in from school to until he fell asleep on the floor by the couch, needing to be near his mother at all times now. Regina liked that he wanted to spend time with her, but it made her wish that she had more time. Some moments, he would look at her with those bright, big brown eyes and she knew he wished the same. So, they soaked each other while they had the chance.

“Mom, were you good at math when you were a kid?” Henry asked. He had taken to asking her about her life as a child and she told him all she could. Emma knew most of her life, but she would rather he hear it from her while he could. She had no doubt Emma would speak well of her, but she wanted him to get as many details as possible while she was around, especially since he wanted them now.

“Yes, very good. Women… were expected… to run the households… noblewomen at least… and you have to know… things about budgeting. I was… very good… at those lessons.” Her chest hurt with every word and every breath she had taken in between, but she would never stop talking to him.

He nodded. “Is this why you were good at it as mayor?”

“I think so. I have… always taken… a comfort in numbers, but it… might be because… I was good with them.”

“I’m going to try get better at math.” He grinned at her. Well, she was fairly certain he grinned. Her eyesight was going. She was not totally blind yet, but in the distance, things had grown hazy. Mentally, she damned Rumple.  _He even robbed me of seeing Henry’s face in my last moments. Bastard_.

She smiled, or hoped she was smiling. It was hard to tell because everything felt like a grimace to her, tearing through her face and causing expected agony. “That’s good. Be sure… to find… a subject you… really like… and try to… excel at it to… build a career.”

“I’ll do my best. What career do you think you would have liked if you were born here and raised here?” he asked, eyes focused on his homework, which was laid out on the coffee table.

Regina thought on it. “Perhaps an… accountant. I would have… my own firm.”

“You just wanna be the boss,” he chuckled. The sound of his laughter warmed her and touched her heart.

“I am… the boss,” she boasted, doing her best to smirk.

“I think I’m going to be an archeologist, so I can go on adventures,” he declared, holding his chin up high.

She smiled, tickled by his innocent and simplistic view of the world. She could see him being an archeologist, but not like Indiana Jones, even though she was certain that was what he thought an archeologist was. He would probably enjoy going on digs, handling artifacts, and getting to tell the stories of people from long ago. She just hoped he got their stories right.

“You’ll have… great adventures, Henry,” she said.  _I wish I would be there to see them_. She tried to shake off the thought. There was no sense in dwelling on her impeding demise. She just needed to enjoy the moment.  _But, I want more moments. Why can’t I have that?_ She was all too aware of the answer. She could never have what she wanted, ever. Not Daniel, not freedom, not her son, or even his other mother.

Henry smiled at her again and that took her mind off of her other thoughts briefly. She would not give up this moment for the world, unless of course someone struck a deal with her to have more time with her son. She would sell whatever was left of her soul for more time with him.  _I love him so much_. She would tell him as often as she could now, so he never doubted. She did not want him thinking back to this time ten years from now wondering.

Looking at him, her vision blurry from a couple of feet and beyond, and she wondered what she lacked where her mother could not love her as she loved Henry. She loved him unconditionally, no matter what he did, her heart always swelled with love for him. She would give him the world and never lay a hand, or magic, on him. She understood a child needed discipline, but she knew her mother had gone overboard. Why didn’t her mother love her as she loved her son? She would never know.

She and Henry carried on light conversation, and had every day since he arrived. Unfortunately, that was not much time. Definitely not enough time to learn everything she needed to know about her son.

“How did… you do on… your science… assignment?” she asked.

He grinned. “We did excellent. It got put on the bulletin board.” Then he frowned and his voice turned bitter. “The teacher got upset when I told her you helped. She doesn’t like you much.”

“It’s all right, Henry. I don’t need… her to like me.” She did not care about that bitch, who was more than likely just upset because she was a baroness in the old world and was now an elementary science teacher. Honestly, Regina thought it was an upgrade considering the horrible swampland the woman had been the holder of.

He turned and glanced at her. “I’m sorry when I didn’t like you. I took you for granted. I should’ve been nicer.” He reached out and actually touched her.

Regina almost flinched at his touch, not expecting it. She did not think he would ever touch her again, not just because she knew her body looked disgusting with sores and pocks. She was not sure if he would ever get over the fact that she was the Evil Queen and had enacted this whole Dark Curse thing. But, maybe he finally just saw “Mom” again.  _And I’m dying for that to happen_.

“It’s all right, Henry. We can’t… go back. I don’t want… you to regret… anything. We’re good now.” They were. They had to be. There was not enough time to fix anything more.

He frowned. “But, it took this to make us good. I mean, I’d probably still be mad at you if you were okay,” he admitted and his eyes flashed, as if upset with himself over this fact. It burned bright enough for her to see, even with her poor eyesight.

She did her best to shake her head, but was not sure if she managed. It was so much effort and work to do something so simple. “It doesn’t matter, Henry. I don’t want… you to… worry about… this. Whatever the reason, we’re fine now. I want you… to know… I love you… and I’m proud of you. I’m proud… that you wanted… to do the right thing, even though… no one else was with you.”

“Was it really the right thing?” he wondered aloud.

Now, she frowned. Thanks to this disease, this  _curse_  – in the truest sense of the word to her – she was trying to be honest with her son and trying to be honest with herself, the self that she had buried long ago. “Yes, it was, Henry. I’ve done… a lot of wrong… things in my life… and lost my way, but I know… what is right and… what is wrong. You did… the right thing.”

“Is the curse breaking the reason why you’re dying?” he asked, his voice cracking. He took a deep breath and covered his mouth, like he was trying to block a sob.

Again, she shook her head, or so she hoped. “No, it’s not.”

He narrowed his gaze and leaned closer to her. “You’re not saying that to make me feel better, right?” He rubbed her arm a little.

She wished she could reach out and run her fingers through his hair, but it was hard to move. “No, Henry. No more… lies, even ones that… should make you… feel better or… protect you. The curse breaking… had nothing to… do with this. This was… an old grudge,” she told him.  _This was brought on by the actions of a foolish woman that sprang full-grown from the head of an equally, though differently foolish girl_.  _Was I ever actually in control?_ She doubted it.

“Who did it?” His big, brown eyes beseeching her for information.

She waved him off, somewhat. She managed to move a couple of fingers and bit back a wince in doing so. “You needn’t worry. It won’t… be done to you.”

He shook his head. “I’m not scared of it being done to me.”

She wished to take his hand, hold it tight, and praise his bravery. “Yes, well, I won’t… let you… swear revenge either. That path… leads to madness, complete and… utter madness. Believe me, I know.” She did not want him to end up like she. She wanted him to grow into a good man, but by the standards of this world. She wanted him to be good in the ways that Emma was good, doing the right thing, even though she clearly did not want to.

He nodded to show that he understood.  _Please, let him be all right_. A beat of silence passed between them and that was enough for Regina to fall asleep, exhausted and her body taxed from simply speaking.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma should have gone to the mansion. Regina needed her, especially if Morgan was not around. Not to mention, she was not totally sure what Morgan did when she was around beyond repel unwanted guests. She was not sure if Morgan helped Regina go to the bathroom, which was something they needed to be careful of. Unable to walk and reluctant to ask Henry for help, Regina would wait until Emma came in. She could hardly wonder what that was doing to Regina’s already damaged kidneys.

But, instead of going to the mansion, Emma went home. She needed to talk to her parents, like Archie suggested. After all, she would not be much help to Regina or Henry if she went out of her mind or ended up in jail for aggravated assault on a dwarf and/or fairy. She called ahead, just to find out if they were there. They were, so it was time to get it out of the way. She let herself in and found her parents sitting at the counter, talking in low voices. They turned to her with the same stricken expression.

“Emma,” David said while Snow just smiled.

“Hey, guys,” she replied, hands in her pockets. She did her best to look at them.  _I’m not the one that’s wrong here_.

“So… you wanted to talk,” Snow said. Her voice broke a little, as if she expected this to be very bad news. Of course, almost never in the history of anything were the words “we have to talk” followed by good news.

Emma pulled up to the counter. Staring at the two of them, her parents, royalty, and heroes of the “other world” or whatever. She was not entirely sure what she saw when she looked at them, though. A part of her saw “parents,” but another part of her saw “abandoners.” Maybe they were both and she had to learn to deal with it. She hoped this talk would help straighten that out.

The sheriff took a deep breath before she started. “Yeah, I just want to get this out in the open without any excuses from you guys. I wish you hadn’t left me. Who the hell abandons a baby to an unknown fate? I mean, what if that damn tree had been a volcano? Or a lake? Hell, even the middle of a freeway? You took a hell of a gamble and the only reason you’re acting like it’s cool is because I’m standing in front of you. You don’t even acknowledge the damage you’ve done to me.”

“Emma, we had faith that it would be all right. You have to have faith,” David said in a strong voice, like this was an acceptable answer. And maybe it would have been for him or even for her if she had grown up in the crazy world they did, but she did not.

Frowning, Emma shook her head. “Faith didn’t feed me when I was hungry. Faith didn’t warm me when I was freezing. Faith damn sure didn’t do anything when I was beaten in an alley or stabbed over a fucking pillow. I mean, you have no idea what type of shit I’ve gone through and what I’ve seen. Shit no child should ever see or live through. I could go on all night and get through not even half of it. I don’t know if you’re purposely ignoring this or if you’re just this thick, but here’s the thing – I’m screwed up, very, very screwed up,” she declared, hitting herself in the chest a couple of times. “And a lot of it boils down to not having parents.”

“Emma, with the curse coming, we didn’t know what was going to happen. We thought it was a fate worse than death,” Snow argued with a tense expression.

“If you thought it was a fate worse than death, would you keep Henry with you or would you try to get him to make a run for it?” David asked.

“Henry isn’t a newborn baby,” she pointed out.

“But, this was our best chance in making sure you survived whatever was coming. We had to do what we thought was best for you. We thought keeping you would be a fate worse than death and I don’t think anyone can sentence their newborn to something like that,” Snow added.

Emma scowled even more because this made sense to her, like they had a valid reason for leaving her to fend for herself from the moment she was born. She just did not believe this was why they put her in the wardrobe, though. “So, the fact that the book says you put me in the damn thing because I’d be the one to break the curse had nothing to do with it?”

“Of course that had something to do with it,” David answered with a smile, as if she was supposed to be happy with that. Snow patted his arm, possibly to get him to stop smiling. He did not, though.

“That’s not something to be proud of,” Emma stated in a hard tone and a glare. Again, maybe it would have been enough for him, but she could care less.

“Why not? You were destined for great things,” he argued, sticking out his chest a bit.

“Screw destiny! You don’t get it. I went through some horrible times over here and felt like you abandoned me, which you essentially did. You left me and you don’t even seem to care!” Emma screamed at the top of her lungs. The lights flickered on and off, giving them all pause for a second.

“Of course we care!” Snow chimed in, reaching out and grabbing Emma by the arm. She locked eyes with Emma and held on tight. “Of course we care,” she said in a lower tone. “We didn’t want to be apart from you, but we didn’t know what Regina was going to do. Honestly, if Regina has told you even half of what she’s done, then you know what could have happened.”

Emma took a breath. “You make a point,” she conceded. Regina would admit now that she was completely crazy toward the end things and on her way to casting the curse, so there was no telling what she would have done with a baby already dubbed “the savior.” She wanted to believe Regina would not have killed her, but who was to say. She doubted Regina would have let her grow up with her parents, though.

“Emma, we had a lot of reasons for why we put you in that wardrobe, but you’re right. We haven’t been very fair of how it affected you. You should know it does hurt to see you’ve turned into a very brave and decent person and we didn’t have anything to do with it,” Snow sighed, squeezing her bicep.

Green eyes rolled and Emma waved that off. “Trust me, I’m very much a work in progress and sometimes I skid backwards, far.” They were probably seeing her at her best, but they missed a lot of years of turmoil, pain, suffering, and some of it caused by her.

“Still, it’s hard seeing you and knowing we didn’t have a hand in what you’ve grown into,” David said, staring at her with glistening eyes. Looking at him, she could finally see the heartbreak. This was her dad, but he did not get a chance to be one and it crushed him.

Emma sniffed. “I’m sure if you had, I’d be a better person.” Maybe that was one of the things that upset her the most. She could have been a better person if she had only had parents, if she only had people that cared.  _This is why I get Regina so much. She could’ve been better. I could’ve been better. Why the hell are things like this?_

No one said anything. Snow moved her hand from Emma’s arm and took Emma’s hand. Emma squeezed it while David got out of his seat and hugged Emma, cradling her head in such a loving gesture that it broke her heart. She returned the embrace with her free hand. Her imperfect parents, which she guessed just went along with her imperfect life. She could accept that they had a lot of reasons for doing what they did, some good and others not so good, but it was enough for her to move on. They wanted her, they still wanted her, and she wanted them. This would have to do. They would just have to build from this moment onward.

Emma looked at both of her parents, seeing love in their eyes.  _This isn’t half bad, though_. They might never understand each other, coming from very different cultures, but they could probably make do.

“You want to stay for dinner?” Snow asked as they broke apart.

Emma shook her head. “I’ve got to get over to Regina’s. I shouldn’t leave Henry there with her too long.”

“How is she doing?” Snow inquired, her voice smaller than usual.

Frowning, Emma ran her hand through her hair. “She’s not doing well. Her eyesight went this morning. She’s not totally blind, but she can’t make out who anyone is anymore unless you’re standing right in front of her. She’s covered in bumps and she can’t really breathe. Her hair and teeth fell out and me and Henry don’t have the heart to tell her. I’m not sure if she ever realizes her teeth are gone because she can’t eat anything and she mostly breaths through her mouth, so it’s always open.”

Snow glanced away, face tense and drawn in a scowl. “She’s not going to beat this, is she?”

“I don’t think so. We thought she would, but it’s becoming clear, she’s not going to make it. There’s no cure for this,” Emma sighed, shaking her head.  _What the hell are we going to do? How am I going to raise Henry without her?_ She was certain she had so much more to learn and Regina had so much more to teach her, but there would never be enough time. Ever.

“Not even True Love’s kiss?” David asked. Emma smiled a bit, pleased that he was invested just because she and Snow were, even though Regina was his least favorite person on Earth.

“It doesn’t matter. Her true love died along time ago,” Emma pointed out, not that she truly understood how that worked. After all, apparently, she and Henry – mother and son who had only just met – could be each other’s true loves while her parents were each other’s true loves to the point that their baby was  _the_  savior.  _What the hell counts as true love?_

Snow gasped. “She told you about that?”

“She told me a lot,” Emma replied.  _She told me everything_.

Snow nibbled on the side of her lip for a moment. “Did she tell you if she ever loved me?”

 _Okay, maybe not everything_. “No, she hasn’t really talked about her time as your stepmother. She’s talked about her marriage to your father, but not her relationship with you. Maybe you should go see her, talk to her while you can,” Emma suggested. Maybe Regina needed that closure, too.  _Maybe that’s why she didn’t tell me about her time with Mary Margaret, she wants Mary Margaret to come to her_.

Snow did not respond, but neither she nor David stopped Emma from leaving. They did not question her decision as they had done before. She felt better. Maybe she would have to talk to Archie more. He seemed to know his stuff more than any other shrink she had the misery of meeting.

Emma returned to the mansion, greeted Regina and Henry. She was not surprised to find the pair talking. She was sure if it were possible, they would talk each other to death, which might actually be happening with Regina considering how much it took out of her. Emma went to make dinner and let them have some more time alone. Regina would fall asleep while she and Henry ate. She would wake up a little while before Henry went to bed and they would talk a little more. They deserve so much more time together.  _How the hell can Gold be such an asshole as to let Regina waste away in front of her own son? What the fuck is wrong with him?_

Emma shook the thoughts away and focused on cooking, recalling the in depth lessons Regina had given her barely a few weeks ago, but seemed like a lifetime ago. She wondered if at some point in her life she would be able to make a meal and  _not_  think of Regina now, think of a woman who suddenly trusted her, cared for her, whom she now cared for, and would leave her very soon. Her heart clenched in her chest and she took a deep breath, hoping to settle herself.

“Why does she have to leave?” Emma whispered, holding in tears.

After another deep breath, she focused cooking. It was hard to distract herself with this task, but she did her best. She wished she had just gone out and gotten fast food as she usually did, but for some reason, she felt like she needed to cook while Regina was still around. Regina should see what she learned, at least once.

“That smells divine, Emma,” Regina praised her when the food was done.

Emma preened and Henry laughed at her. She silenced him with a mock-stern look. “You should try it. It tastes good, right, Henry?”

“Yeah, Mom. It’s really good!” Henry grinned, trying to sell it.

Regina declined and they did not force her, even though she needed to eat. She took a nap while Emma and Henry ate, even though they sat with her. When they were done, Emma went to the dishes while Henry woke Regina up and they continued talking until his bedtime.

“You don’t want anything to eat?” Emma asked Regina after forcing Henry to go to bed, in his own bed to make sure he was comfortable. He would stay up all night with Regina and, honestly, Emma would have let him, but Regina would not allow it. Emma was sure Regina would be in her “mom” mode until her last breath. She sat down next to Regina.

Regina took a deep breath and her sunken eyes glanced at Emma. “I don’t think… I could hold… it down.”

Sighing, Emma gently stroked Regina’s knee, quite certain she could feel the hard bone. “You’ve got to eat something.”

“I think… this month has… proven otherwise,” Regina remarked.

“Yeah, well, this month has been abnormal,” Emma replied, forcing out a laugh. She tried to keep things normal to help them both deal, but sometimes, she just wanted to burst into tears. She wanted Regina to stay, wanted to see how other months would go between them, wanted to see how  _years_  would go between them now.

“I haven’t… had a normal… month in a… very long time, so I think… this is par… for the course,” the witch said, managing a smile. It looked painful, like all of her facial movements recently.

Emma chuckled, thumb still rubbing Regina’s knee. “Is this your way of warning me that things will keep getting weird?”

“As long as… you stay here… and as long as… you have Henry.”

Emma smiled. “Staying here might not be problem, but I guess raising a kid is gonna be hard. What do I do when his voice starts changing and he’s locking his bedroom door? What should I do the first day he brings a girl home? Think I should scare her or be the cool mom?”

Regina laughed a tiny bit, but it turned into a cough. Inhaling, she managed to halt the cough before Emma handed her a tissue. “I wish… I could… be there. We could be… good cop, bad cop.”

Emma chuckled. “You’d be good cop.”

“I would?”

Grinning, Emma caressed Regina’s knee with her whole hand now. “Totally. I’d have the badge and the gun, so I’d have to scare her.”

“But, she would… eventually realize… you’re the cool mom… and I’m the scary one.”

Emma chuckled. She could imagine it, which was something they had been doing with their lives in conversation, playing “what if.” It was a tease, but she felt like it helped them both. She found she wished it could be reality. She wanted to live out so many “what ifs” with Regina now, wanted to be there for this forgotten woman, whom she remembered and who gave her purpose and gave her a wonderful son.

“You’d totally scare her. Henry would be embarrassed and he’d beg me to get you to stop,” Emma said with a smile, picturing it in her mind. She could see his red cheeks and Regina’s smirk.

“And you’d talk to me… for show. But, inside… you’d be laughing,” Regina said.

Emma grinned. “I totally would. At the end of the night, I’d be all, ‘Oh, I’m sorry for my wife,’ but I’m be dying on the inside.”  _Whoa_.

Brown eyes cut to her. “Wife?”

Clearly, Regina was just as shocked as Emma that the word came out of her mouth. Emma realized in that moment, that was what she wanted. She wanted to be with Regina, to raise their son together, to be together. More than co-parenting, she wanted a relationship. Regina was already her friend, but she was something more. Regina was inside of her and she wanted to keep her there, hold her close, and cherish her like she needed to be. All Regina needed was to know she was precious to someone and Emma was certain Regina could return to the girl who dared to love the stable boy and wanted to live a very simple life. A simple life sounded like heaven right now.

An elfish smile conquered Emma’s face. “I’d think by then I’ll have gotten on your nerves enough for you to marry me.” She wanted to play it light because it was not fair to dump her epiphany on Regina. It was not that she feared Regina did not feel the same way, but that Regina did and she only had days left. How would it be fair for Regina to know she could have what she truly desired when she was about to die?

“I would never…” Regina tilted her chin a little, probably trying to raise it.

“Oh, yeah, you would. By then, we’d both have figured that no one else wants us because they think we’re weird and we’d only have each other.” Emma doubted this was true, but she thought it would tickle Regina. While she did think at this point, they would raise Henry together, she was not sure if they would ever make it a point to get married. Regina probably never wanted to be married again.

“You don’t seem… like the marrying type,” Regina pointed out.

Emma smiled, not sure if she was the marrying type. She was a little trigger shy since Henry’s father, but she did not feel that way with Regina. It might have been because she had seen so much of Regina. She was comfortable with Regina and felt like she could trust Regina with so many aspects of herself because Regina had already done that with her, whether by choice or due to the wasting curse, but it did not matter.

Again, Emma caressed Regina’s knee. “And you’re not anymore, but I’d be the one to change your mind. We’d have a good time. You’d blame me every time Henry did something wrong and I’d blame you whenever he did something way too advanced for a kid his age.”

Regina let out a whining laugh, which turned into a cough. Emma put a tissue to Regina’s mouth. She coughed up what looked like tar now. Emma wondered what in the body could possibly be so jet black, but she could not bring herself to ask.  _Why can’t she stay?_

-8-8-8-8-

Regina sat awake in the middle of the afternoon. She hated the afternoon because she was alone. She knew if she just spoke, Morgan would appear, even she had a life to attend to in this fictional town. She wondered if she should speak to Morgan.  _I owe it to her, but she probably doesn’t want to hear it. It would only sound like excuses to her_.

Regina hoped she did not die in the afternoon. She could feel the end coming, but she just wanted it to come when she had people around her. Morgan suddenly appeared next to her.

“Snow White wishes to come inside. She claims to talk,” Morgan reported.

“Snow White?” Regina wondered if Snow wanted an apology. It would definitely be a cold day in Hell for that. “You can… send her in.”

Morgan nodded. “Say the word and she’ll be gone on the wind.”

“All right.”

Morgan vanished in a puff of maroon smoke and moments later Snow White entered the house. If Regina did not have a clue to how hideous she was, the gasp that escaped Snow upon entering the living room would have clued her in. The look of abject horror on her face helped, but Regina could barely make that out.

“Oh my goodness, Regina,” Snow breathed.

“Some have… the manners to… not stare,” Regina pointed out. She could not really tell Snow was staring, but the assumption was dead on because she knew the self-righteous princess.

Snow yelped. “Oh!” Yet her eyes remained on Regina.

“So, is there… something you want… or have you… come just to… make sure… I’m dying?” Regina asked with a sneer, or so she hoped. She did her best to sit up and appear as regal as someone covered in oozing pocks with few teeth and chapped lips could.

Snow swallowed. “I wanted to talk to you. About us.”

“Us? What ‘us’… is there for… my most… hated enemy?” Regina asked seriously. This was the girl who ruined her life, who helped her mother deliver her to terror, and her reason for going mad. But, beyond that, this was Emma’s mother, who felt everything, even things that were none of her business. Just as she did not want Henry to feel guilt over her, she did not want Snow suffering from remorse. This would be her gift to Snow, but only for Emma’s sake. Emma would need this fool to be there for her and Snow would not be able to do that if she worried over her relationship with Regina. Snow needed to understand just where they stood, so she would not mourn and she could help Emma pick up the pieces.

Snow’s shoulders dropped. “So, is that all there ever was to us?”

“I hated you… from the moment… Daniel’s body… hit the ground. It festered, burned, and consumed me, only to… be joined by… my hatred of… your father,” Regina stated truthfully. They taught her more about love being weakness and might making right than her mother could have done in a dozen life times.

Snow sniffled as a tear slid down her cheek. “So, you never loved me?” her voice quivered with hope. Regina would squash that. Snow need not mourn them, what could have been and never was. Snow needed to be there for Emma.

Scoffing, the corner of Regina’s upper lip curled as if she were disgusted by the idea. “How could I? You robbed me… of my happy… ending. What would I… love?” Of course, there had been moments. Moments where she forgot who Snow was or what she had done and she allowed herself to feel more than hate. And then she would remember. She would remember the feel of Daniel’s body in her arms, how cold and heavy he was, and her hatred would return a hundred fold, mixing with guilt for daring to forget Snow’s crimes and it created a void that only grew with each moment this happened.

“I was a child!” Snow sobbed.

“Emotions… aren’t rational, dear. Child or not, my heart… hated you… for what you… did and, as I rotted… in your father’s keep, I only… hated you more. There was little… else to do.” Regina wished she could strike a pose while speaking, but honestly, sitting as she was hurt like being put to the rack and speaking was like having pins stabbed into her lungs. She feared if this conversation went on long enough, she would collapse, but she maintained her front. Snow White need not mourn her.

Snow wiped her reddening eyes. “So, even when we spent time together and you were being nice to me, you hated me?”

“Yes.”

“But… but, you were so nice!”

It used to hurt back then to smile at Snow while Daniel was at the forefront of her mind, but there had been little else she could do. “Well, that was still my nature, but I never forgot my hatred for you. You’ll never understand what if feels like to have the only person to ever make you feel like you matter murdered in front of you.” Snow would never understand her pain because everyone always loved her and this made Regina fear Snow would not be able to be there for Emma. Emma – whom few had loved and who had mattered to so few.  _But, she matters to me_. The thought almost made Regina gasp, but Snow’s response buried Regina’s reaction.

“But, I didn’t kill him!” Snow wailed, undoubtedly looking quite a mess, even though Regina could not see enough to tell beyond the tears and the redness in her cheeks. The din of her sobs sounded awful, though.

“No, but you… had a hand… in it. You essentially… gave my mother… the matches to… leave my life in ruins.”

“I was only a child.” Snow hiccupped.

“Emotions are not… rational,” Regina repeated. “What does… it matter, Snow?” she asked curiously.  _What lie has Snow told herself to make her weep for me?_

“Because I loved you,” Snow admitted in a whisper.

Regina shook her head as much as she could manage. “No, you didn’t. Don’t lie… to the both… of us.”  _Is this what Snow truly thinks? She loved me?_ She could remember the young princess looking at her with bright, shining eyes, reminding her of how other children looked at toys or pets. Maybe once upon a time, she had impressed and awed a young Snow, but once the shine wore off, Regina was a called on companion for both father and daughter, summoned only when the true royals wanted something from her. Her title of queen was much like her title as princess in her grandfather’s kingdom – hollow and meaningless. For her entire life, she was a pawn with a pretty face and a grand title, but nothing more to anyone, except a very select few.

“I did,” Snow insisted. “Maybe not as my mother, but I loved you. I had always hoped that you loved me.”

“No, it’s not… possible.”

“Do you love Emma?”

The change in topic jarred Regina to the point that she felt her shock ripple through her body. Wincing, she wondered about what she felt for Emma. She had loved Daniel. She did not feel the same emotions for Emma as she did with Daniel. But, Emma had embedded herself so deeply into Regina now that Regina was glad she was dying first. She did not want to live without Emma.

“I’m tired,” Regina said to dismiss Snow. She turned away.

Of course, Snow was too thick to realize she was dismissed. “But—”

Morgan cut Snow off by appearing in front of her. “She said she’s tired. You may leave.”

Snow understood those words and thankfully left. Regina sighed. She was tired. So very tired.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: the logical conclusion of the wasting curse.


	14. …Do us part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters. I also don’t own Macbeth, which is mentioned here.

14: …Do us part

Regina took a long deep breath and almost jumped out of her skin as she felt a cool rag press against her forehead. Morgan stepped into her sight, but she could barely make out the other witch’s form. She was thankful for the rag, though. She felt so cold, which let her know her body was burning up. Thankfully, she did not have her blanket wrapped around her anymore or she would have sweated through it.

“I wish you had stayed with me,” Morgan sighed. Her voice sounded surprisingly sorrowful. “I would have taught you just as much as the imp. Actually, I would’ve taught you so much more.”

“I know, but you… wouldn’t have fed… the anger, the hate. I needed that,” Regina said. It would seem she and Morgan were going to have a talk. She was shocked Morgan started it. She had always been so sure Morgan did not care to hear her reasons for leaving. She had always thought Morgan saw her walking way with Rumplestiltskin as a betrayal.

“No, you didn’t. You needed a tender hand.” As if to prove she owned that hand, Morgan lightly dabbed Regina’s brow with the cool rag. Something so simple should not have felt so amazing, but then again, long ago, simple things had been all she wanted.

“I wouldn’t have… known what to… do with it. I wasn’t ready,” Regina admitted. She had not wanted what Morgan represented and offered at the time.  _A foolish girl. I have always been a foolish girl_.

Morgan sighed and her voice was soft. “I know you weren’t. You lived for one thing and I wasn’t the mother you wanted. I would’ve been a good one to you, though.”

Regina knew that was true and it terrified her back then. No one could truly care about her then, but Morgan seemed so intent in proving her wrong. Morgan had wanted her, but she had managed to convince herself Morgan just wanted a replacement for her son. She told herself Morgan just wanted her to be her doll, like Snow and Leopold.

“I know what you thought, Regina. I know. But, you wouldn’t have been a placeholder. You had your own spot in my heart. I would’ve been so good to you,” Morgan said with a sniffle.

Regina felt a lump in her throat, which was not because of the curse. “I know. Deep down… I knew. You would have… and that… scared me. I wouldn’t have… deserved you, anyway.”

A loud scoff from Morgan echoed through the house. “It’s not about deserving, Regina. If anything, I wouldn’t have deserved you. I had darkened my soul long before you had a naughty thought. My hatred cost me everything and I wish I could’ve spared you that. I wanted to spare you all of the pain I knew was ahead.”

“I gained… my son.” The thought of Henry always soothed her. Henry would always be everything for Regina.

“And now you’re going to leave him.”

“Not by choice, but when you… lie with dogs, you get fleas. You warned me of that… when I left… with Rumple.” She recalled how Morgan tried so hard to warn her about the Dark One, but nothing would have gotten through to her, not when Rumple was telling her how the King had all of his guard seeking her out, demanding her return. She would never be free, even if she stayed with Morgan. The King would always pull her back and Snow would always be there, greeting her with a smile, the same smile she probably wore when telling Regina’s mother about Daniel.

Morgan sighed and touched the few strands of hair Regina had left. “I will destroy that damned imp for this. I should’ve done it when he fed your madness, but this is far worse. I was chaotic neutral before, but now I’m just going to crush him. He’s taken you from me twice.” She snarled, sincerely angry, filled with righteous indignation on Regina’s behalf. It would have been overwhelming if only the end was not so near.

“You’re giving in… to hatred.”

“No, I’m giving into justice. That damned imp has operated with impunity for too long. He’s been playing around and getting his way with both sides. Well, that’s over now and he’s over now as well,” Morgan vowed in a powerful tone.

“Just, please, look after… Henry and Emma. They don’t know… what they’re… dealing with.” Regina had not expected for Morgan to rally with her like this. She thought her abandonment of Morgan had ceased their relationship, even though Morgan came to her aid in the beginning of all of this. She could not understand how Morgan forgave her and still held such emotion for her, a stupid, hardheaded witch that should have listened so many years ago.

“I will look out for them as if they were my own,” Morgan promised, gently caressing Regina’s hollowed out cheek with her knuckles. She chuckled. “After all, they’re practically my own anyway since they’re yours.” Her voice cracked and her tender touch stilled very briefly.

“You love me,” Regina realized in a gasp. This is why Morgan could do all of this for her, despite the fact that she turned her back on Morgan.

“Of course, I do, you silly girl. Did I not once ask for you to be my daughter?” Morgan reminded her. She ran a single, affectionate finger down Regina’s chin. “One doesn’t simply turn her affection off once her child does something silly. Have you stopped loving Henry?”

“Never,” Regina said the word as strongly as possible, hurting her chest as she did so. She would never and could never stop loving Henry, no matter what.

“Then you can understand my feelings. I’ll watch over them for you because I love you, as a mother can only do a child,” Morgan replied.

Tears burned their way down Regina’s face. “I would’ve… liked you… as a mother.” Yes, she knew the tales of the dreaded Morgana Le Fay, but she had only met a woman who understood her and had been kind to her. Her own mother always had a heavy hand for her while Morgana had soft words of encouragement.

Morgan did not say anything. She leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Regina’s forehead. The curse had ravaged her body so much that even this small show of affection pained Regina, but she accepted it. She wished she could raise her hands and hug Morgan, but she no longer had control over any portion of her body.

“You are loved in this world, Regina. Don’t forget that. You are loved,” Morgan affirmed, sniffling slightly once more.

This fact made Regina feel better, but it did not make the fact that she was dying, probably within the next day, any better. She wished she had taken Morgan up on her offer so long ago. She wished she handled things differently with Henry. She wished she had given Emma a chance before she was cursed. There were so many things she would leave behind and three people might not seem like much to most, but they were the sun, the moon, and the stars to her.

Morgan gave her one more kiss before vanishing. Henry entered the house a moment later. He came right into the living room and hugged her as best he could. He had broken one of her ribs earlier that morning when he hugged her goodbye. Morgan had healed her as best she could, but Regina could feel it was not enough.

“Hey, Mom,” he greeted her with a smile.

“Hey, sweetie. How was… school?” Regina asked.  _This might be the last time I ask him this question_. The very idea made her stomach clench and she bit down a wince.

“It was okay.” He parked himself next to the couch and then went into telling her about his day as he unpacked his book bag. She hung onto his every word. This was what she wanted with him and if only she had been able to share him, she might have gotten that for just a little longer.

 _No, I can’t linger on the negative. I can’t change the past. He’s here now and I had him for ten years. That’s enough. I trust Emma will take good care of him. She has to_. She had faith in Emma, but in her heart, she truly wished she could be there with both of them for a long, long time.  _My happy ending…_  She shook the thought off.

Her mind went back to Henry and his story about lunch. “So, I got in trouble today because I yelled at a boy that said it was good for you that you’re dying.”

She frowned. “You yelled… at him?”

“Yeah! What kind of asshole says it’s good for someone’s mother to die?” he demanded with a scowl, throwing his arms up. He looked like her when he frowned; well, from what she could remember anyway.

“Henry, language,” she scolded him. She imagined that would only get worse as he got older and spent even more time with Emma. She supposed she could handle that as long as his grades remained as they were and he grew into a good, kind man. Hopefully, he would at least learn when and where to use it.

“That’s what Emma called him.”

“Of course.”

“Even the teachers were talking about it.” He paused for a moment, licking his lips. “A lot of people are happy you’re dying.” His voice came out in a whisper.

“I know,” Regina sighed. She wished she had not done this to him. He would have to live on and bear with the fact that people were happy that he lost his mother. Of course, they did not view her as his mother.  _Have I left him and Emma with too much? Can Emma hold him up through this? Will he be able to rightly remember me through this?_  As she knew the badmouthing would grow exponentially worse when she finally died and she did not want her son to give, believing what was said over time.

“People shouldn’t be happy when someone’s dying! Adults shouldn’t be saying I’m better off! What is wrong with these people?” he huffed, smacking the floor with his palm.

“Henry, you know… I hurt… many of them,” she reminded him. Less than a month ago, he would have agreed with these people, after all.

“Yeah, but…” he sighed, rubbing his forehead. He shook his head, seeming so much older than his ten years.

She understood what his problem. While people had a right to be happy that she was dying, they should not be telling her son such a thing. It was awful for them to assume he wanted her dead just as badly as they did, even if he helped break the curse. She was his mother, even if they did not think so.

“Henry, don’t worry… about what they say. Just know… that you’ve always… been the best thing… to happen to me… and I’ve always… loved you,” she promised. She doubted she would ever love someone as strongly as she did her son.

“I love you, too,” Henry replied, leaning in for another hug. She could feel her body bruising and crumbling from his gentle touch, but she wished she could stay in his arms forever. When he pulled away, she heard him sniffle. He was crying.

“Henry…” She was not even sure what to say.

“I don’t want you to go, Mom. I love you so much and you’ve always been a good mom, even if you did bad stuff. You were always great to me. I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered and he wiped his nose, which did not help much.

“I don’t want… to go. I need you… to be strong, though. Be strong… my prince,” she replied. She would do anything to spare him this pain, to stay with him, and she would never ask for anything else in life.

Sniffling, Henry took a deep breath. He wiped his face and hiccupped, but managed to get his tears under control. Taking another deep breath, he settled back into his usual spot against the couch.

They sat together for a while, just enjoying the other’s presence. Regina smiled at this. She wished she could stroke his hair. She could not remember the last time she had done so and it bothered her to know she would die without being able to run her fingers through his hair one last time.

“This reminds me… of when you… were little. We would sit… together and I… would read… to you… and then when… you learned to… read, you would read… to me,” she told him. She had many pictures of him with books in his lap and explained them all to Emma, who thought it was cute and she remembered the slight look of envy in those green eyes. She wondered if Emma wished she had been Regina or Henry in those stories.

“That sounds nice,” he replied.

“Do you… remember… doing it?”

He thought on it, turning up his mouth as he did so. “Some of it. We’d read big people books?”

Trying to smile, she could feel her lips cracking and splitting open, but she pressed on. “Yes, that’s what… you would call… them. You never wanted me… to read your… books. You always wanted… to read what… I was reading. I’m not sure… many four-year-olds had… MacBeth read to them.” It was one of her fondest memories, actually reading the entire works of Shakespeare to her then-toddler son.

He grinned. “I remember that! I liked the weird sisters. You did voices for them that were really creepy.”

“I did.” It was nice to know he remembered some of their good times together. She had felt silly doing it back then, but she had done many silly things with Henry, recollecting when her own father had done silly things with her. She knew those made for the best memories. In so many aspects of her life, she knew she had become her mother, but as a parent, she did her best to be like her father.

So, they spent the rest of the afternoon remembering the good times until Emma came in with dinner, which smelled suspicious like more fast food. Regina was not sure since her body was failing her, but she hoped she was glaring at Emma. In her blurred vision with Emma standing too far away, she could not tell if the blonde looked sorry or not.

“I’ll start cooking more often very soon,” Emma promised, which was enough to let Regina know she was glaring. Good.

“Mom, you should have some pizza with us. I bet it’ll make you feel better,” Henry suggested with a grin in his voice.

“Pizza is nature’s perfect food,” Emma remarked with a laugh.

Regina scoffed and tried, but failed, to roll her eyes. “You’ve said… similar things… about hamburgers, hot dogs, and tacos.” All of which Emma had brought home for dinner at some point. She had cooked some, as if to show Regina she had taken in the lessons and they would survive once she was gone. It was good to know, but she would have preferred Emma start now since their son ate there.

“All the perfect food,” Emma replied.

They ate in the living room, so they were close to Regina. Emma attempted to feed Regina half-a-slice, but Regina could only take a bite. Henry and Emma ignored the fact that Regina lost one of her final teeth to the bite because they were undoubtedly pleased she was trying to eat. It was the most food she had eaten in a few days and her stomach cramped around it. It was little surprise that she threw up less than ten minutes later. Her body was so weak that she fainted from the physical exertion of vomiting.

-8-8-8-8-

“How much longer do you think she has?” Henry asked, eyes not leaving Regina’s sleeping form. She was sweating in her sleep, body more than likely racked with fever again. He placed a cool cloth on her head.

Emma sighed as she cleaned up their dinner. “I try not to think about it.”

Regina seemed to be lingering now. She could stay awake and talk, but not much else. Emma not only had to carry her to bathroom now, but she had to hold her up. There were also the accidents that neither of them spoke on, but she could tell each one crushed poor, proud Regina a little more. She could try to assure Regina all she wanted that it was fine, but it was horrible to think this once larger than life woman weighed next to nothing now and had soiled her couch like an untrained pup several times.

The thought turned her stomach as she realized, Gold meant for Regina to go through this alone. Regina would have spent her final days lying around in her own filth if he had his way.  _What kind of a bastard does that?_

Making matters worse, if Emma touched Regina the wrong way, she would break a bone, especially when she picked the older woman up for bathroom trips. Thankfully, Morgan could heal it, but still, the pain from having a bone snapped was probably way too much for Regina to handle now. Then there was the worry of internal bleeding and hoping Morgan caught that when she healed Regina.  _How the hell could he have done this to her? This is inhuman_.

“Maybe I should stay home from school tomorrow,” he suggested.

“She won’t let you,” Emma pointed out.

“I don’t like going to school and hearing them talk about how it’s good that Mom’s dying. I thought these guys were supposed to be good. Good people aren’t happy when someone dies, right?” he asked.

She scowled.  _What the fuck is wrong with these people? Yeah, Regina cursed them and terrorized them, but shit, you don’t say stuff like this to a kid that helped save your ass_. “No, good people aren’t happy when someone dies. They also don’t say it around the person’s kid.”

“I wish we hadn’t broken the damn curse,” Henry declared with a tight frown.

Emma sighed. Sometimes, she felt the same way. It was not so much that she did not like having parents, but she had grown accustomed to not having any and truthfully, she did not need any at this point in her life. She would have preferred to keep her friend, Mary Margaret, instead of having a mom. The only person who seemed to be mostly the same was Ruby, who she now had to share with her mother. There was something inherently uncool about sharing a best friend with your mom, even if she was the same age.

Beyond that, the town still made little sense to her. Even as she got the hang of it, she did not like it much. There was the magic, the nobles, and people who declared themselves in charge just… well, because! There disputes – most of them petty or annoying – from the other world that people seemed to think mattered here and now. It was like one big headache. Maybe this was the only way to get to know Regina and find out how much she actually liked the witch, but if Regina living to fight another day meant they all had to stay cursed, she would have gone with that now. Maybe.

“It was the right thing to do,” Emma finally said. Because it was, even if they did not like it.

“Mom said that, too. Sometimes, the right thing sucks,” he pouted.

“It’s been my experience that the right thing usually sucks. That’s why it’s so much easier to do the wrong thing. It takes a strong person to do what’s right.”

He looked at her thoughtfully. “That was a good thing to say.”

Emma smiled. “Hopefully, it’ll make up for all of the swearing I’ve been letting you get away with.” She would not be able to curb her mouth, so she figured she might as well just let Henry go as long as he did not swear at anyone and just used it to enhance his own descriptions. She knew Regina would hate it, but she could not do everything Regina would do.  _I’m sure if I get him into her precious Ivy League, she’ll forgive me for expanding his vocabulary_.

He smiled at her impishly and then helped her do their meager dishes. “I did dishes a few times with Mom when I was little.”

“Oh, yeah?” Regina had told her stories and, of course, she had pictures, but Emma would love to hear what Henry remembered of what seemed like a rather happy childhood until things went sour.

His smile beamed even more. “Yeah. I had a little step stool and she let me dry. I remember I dropped a plate once and I was so scared that she was gonna be mad. But, she smiled at me and said ‘accidents happen’ and then just cleaned it up while making sure I didn’t step on any pieces and get cut.”

“She’s a good mom.”

Henry nodded vigorously. “Yeah.” Emma wished Regina heard his affirmation. “How is that someone called the Evil Queen can be a good mom?” he asked curiously.

“People have many sides to them.”

He screwed his face up, as if that fact left a bad taste in his mouth, like he was not sure how it was possible for someone to have that many sides, sides which seemed like direct opposites. She wished he did not have to learn so many harsh life lessons all at once. Resisting the urge to glance into the living room, she could not help thinking of the final lesson he would learn. She wondered what they would do after that.  _How do we go on after that?_

-8-8-8-8-

Heavy coughs echoed through the night, waking Emma from a restless sleep. Automatically, she reached for tissues and sat up, putting the tissue to Regina’s mouth. She had taken to sleeping beside the couch days ago since Regina decided Henry needed to sleep in his room. In the darkness, Emma could barely make out Regina’s shell of a body as she shook from her harsh coughing. Once the sound faded, Emma moved the tissues.

“Emma…” Regina breathed out, her voice hoarse and low.

“Yeah?”

“Can we… go watch… the sunrise… under my tree? I want to… feel the air… and the sun…”

Emma felt like her heart fell into her feet and her throat all but collapsed in on itself. Regina had never requested such a thing before. She knew why Regina asked, why she wanted to be under her tree. Emma was not ready, nowhere near ready, but she gathered Regina in her arms anyway. She was not sure how she managed to keep from shaking as she held Regina close to her, feeling how difficult it was for Regina to breathe as she panted against Emma’s chest. She wondered if Regina could feel her heart racing, ready to burst.

Emma was not sure how she managed to slide the door open with her hands full of Regina, but she did. Moving through the back door, Emma eased into the garden. It was cold, but Regina was wrapped in a blanket and Emma could stand it in her t-shirt and pajama bottoms. She had been colder in her life and was certain she would be colder soon enough.

“The air… feels good,” Regina muttered, but did not move her head from resting against Emma’s shoulder.

“Yeah, we should do this again,” Emma replied as she settled her back against the tree trunk. She held Regina folded in her lap.

“If only.”

“Leave me this, please,” Emma requested in a low tone. She would like to hold onto the illusion that there was a tomorrow for as long as she could. They would have time to do this, they would have time to raise Henry together, and somehow they would end up together, even if not a couple. They would just be together, taking care of each other, teaching each other things, and being there for each other and their son.

“Then we… will do… this again.” Regina’s wane, jaundiced, cracked, pockmarked face twitched. Poor thing was trying to smile.

Emma smiled for both of them. “But, in the summer.” Her voice wavered, quivered, and she had to swallow a rising rock-hard lump in her throat. Swallowing did not help.

“Sounds good.” Regina took a deep breath. “I used to… sit under… this tree with… Henry as a baby. When I… was younger, I had always… imagined doing… just that with… my child.”

“And he is your child.”  _I’m so happy he’s your child. No matter what, you were a good mother and you took great care of him. I want to take care of you. I want to_. Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Regina did not need to worry about her anguish right now. She needed to make sure Regina was comfortable.

“He’s yours… now, too. Take good…care of him.”

“You know I will,” Emma promised. Her voice cracked there. She could not help it. Her chest hurt so much and her lungs burned with each breath.  _Stay with me, Regina. Stay, please_.

“Take good care… of yourself… as well. Trust your… instincts. They’re crazy, but… often right,” Regina said.

Emma was not too sure about that. “I’ll do my best. I promise you, I will take care of Henry. I won’t let him forget you. I’ll go through all of the pictures with him as often as possible and I’ll bring your name up all the time.”

“That’s good.” Regina exhaled deeply. “Will we… watch more… sunrises together?”

“We haven’t watched this one yet,” Emma replied with a chuckle to cover up a sniffle. She doubted it was a good job, but she could not help it. Everything hurt.  _Please, stay with me_.

Regina’s face twitched again. “You would… get on… my nerves.”

Emma grinned. “I know. You’d get on mine, too. You’d be all prim and proper and make me pick up my clothes when I just toss them everywhere.”

“I definitely… would.”

“You’d scold me for putting dishes in the dishwasher with food on them.”

“I would.”

“But, I’d get you back. I’d watch rated R movies with Henry.”

“I wouldn’t… let you,” Regina stated.

“Oh, but you couldn’t stop me,” Emma boasted. “We’d drink milkshakes while we did it and have chili cheese fries.”

Regina groaned a bit, but it was probably supposed to be a disapproving growl. “You would… make me… the bad parent.”

Emma shook her head. “No, I would just be the fun parent that ate all of the junk food and you’d be the parent that makes him do homework and eat vegetables.”

“So, I’d be… the good parent?”

Emma chuckled. “He wouldn’t see it that way until well after college. I’d be the cool mom.”

“I think… you’re already… the cool mom.”

“He thinks you’re cool, too.”

Regina sniffled. “Make sure… he knows… I love him. Don’t ever… let him… doubt that.”

“Regina, he knows. He knows.”

Tears slid down Regina’s damaged face. “Don’t let him… think I… abandoned him. I didn’t want… to leave. He needs… to know that.”

“He knows, Regina. He knows,” Emma whispered. She caressed Regina’s forehead as she felt the smaller woman breathe against her. She could feel the struggle for each breath and hear the mucus built up in her lungs. It twisted Emma’s stomach.

“You need… to know… I didn’t abandon you… either,” Regina said, her voice even lower now. A couple more tears fell, but that was all. It was like Regina’s body was out of fluid, except for the ones that were killing her.

Emma inhaled sharply and held her breath to make sure those tears still welling in her eyes did not fall. “I know.”

“I don’t… want to leave…” Regina said.

“I know.”

As the sun peeked its head up over the horizon and colored the world in brighter tones, remnants of tears glistened in Regina’s eyes. For Emma, everything seemed bleak and grey, like light was being drained from the world. She wanted to hold her tighter, but knew she would just snap Regina’s spine if she did. It was not fair.

“I want to hold you so close,” Emma said.

“You can,” Regina replied.

“It would hurt you.”

“But, it would… heal me, too.”

Emma shook her head. “I’m not going to hurt you now.” It would crush her if she caused Regina any type of pain now.

“I know.”

They sat silently, watching the twilight become the dawn and the day turning to Hell. The air smelled like decay and Emma knew it was Regina, but not in the sense that she was rotting, but the situation was rotten. They could have been something good. They could have been a family.

“You know, we’re an awesome family,” Emma whispered. This was all she wanted in life and it was fading like the signs of the night.

“I wouldn’t… use that word, but we… are a good… family,” Regina replied. Her eyes were on Emma, but they were not focused.

Swallowing to make sure her voice remained steady, Emma licked her lips. “I’ve always wanted a family.”  _This would’ve been everything for both of us, for all of us_. Her heart broke at the very thought and she swallowed down a sob that got way too close to the surface.

“Me, too.”

“Yet you didn’t love Snow when you had her,” Emma pointed out.

“I never had… her because I… never accepted her. I didn’t… want her,” Regina reminded her. Her voice was a whisper now and it clearly took a lot out of her to say anything, yet she pressed on.

Emma nodded. “I had a family like that when I was fourteen. I didn’t want them. They weren’t bad, but they weren’t great either. I’d rather be on the street than with them, even though I had stayed in worse homes.”

“Well, now you… can make your… own home.”

Emma sighed. Yeah, she could make her own home, but it would not be the home she wanted. “This isn’t fair.” Her voice was shot, broken, like her heart, like their family.

“It never is,” Regina told her and she hated how true that was. She watched as Regina’s eyes fluttered shut.

“I don’t want you to leave me,” Emma said, holding Regina close. She could feel Regina’s bones crumbling in her chest. Regina did not even wince. Emma’s mouth trembled and her own chest felt like it might cave in.

“I don’t want… to leave,” Regina replied, taking another deep breath. Her eyes shut again, but she opened them wide again. They were clouded over now, milky and grey as the world around them.

“Then stay,” Emma implored. The plea tumbled out of her strangled throat.

Regina tried to take another breath, but did not seem to draw in enough air. “I wish… I could…”

“Please, don’t leave,” Emma begged.

“I’d be… such a… good girl… if I could… stay,” Regina replied, voice jumping as she tried to gather in more air. It sounded almost like she had the hiccups, but so much worse.

Emma ducked her head and a dry sob escaped him. “Me, too. Me, too.” She knew all about that, bargaining to escape the abuse, the misery. It never worked.

“I… love you…” Regina whispered.

“I love you, too,” Emma admitted, another dry sob escaping her. She so loved Regina, the woman beneath the Evil Queen, enactor of the Dark Curse, and the all-powerful Mayor of Storybrooke. The Regina who was a mother with a big heart, who kept photos of their son and all the stories that went with them, who cooked and sewed and made laundry smell amazing, and who opened herself up to Emma in ways no one, not even Henry’s father, had. Emma loved that woman with all of her faults and wanted to be with her. “Please, stay…” she entreated in a whisper, scared that saying it too loud would be too much.

Regina only inhaled sharply as the sky began to illuminate with oranges and blues, but everything felt dull and dead. Before the sun even crawled halfway into the sky, Regina took one more inhale and then was totally still, eyes still open and mouth gaped. Emma refused to believe what she knew just happened.

“Regina?” Emma shook her. “Regina?” There was no response and Emma’s tears poured out of her immediately. “Please, Regina, don’t leave. I can’t do this alone,” Emma sobbed. “I can’t,” she whimpered. “I can’t!” Fat, heavy tears fell from her eyes. “I can’t… I can’t… I can’t…”

Regina did not respond and Emma clutched Regina’s body to her, holding her like she was the only thing that could keep Emma anchored to this world. She had never wept so openly or hard in her entire life as she did holding the still boiling hot body of her son’s mother, her enemy, her friend, who could have been so much more, both to her and to the world. Tears poured from her eyes and she nuzzled Regina’s cheek, like a lioness who just lost a cub.

“I can’t…” Emma’s voice was a shadow of its former self. Coughing, more tears, hot and salty, rained down her face. “I can’t…” she wailed, feeling like her lungs were going to burst from the sting and burn.

A couple of tears fell onto Regina’s face. Emma did not think anything of it until there was a flash of blinding white light from Regina’s still form. Emma closed her eyes to avoid any damage to her retinas. When the light passed, she opened her eyes to find clear chocolate eyes looking right back at her.

“Regina?” Emma asked in a whisper.  _Holy shit, is Regina alive? How the hell is she alive? Is she a zombie?_

Regina was silent, but kept staring with a slightly parted mouth. Slowly, the pox on her face began to clear and her teeth grew back, healthy and white. Emma could feel brittle bones strengthen and yellowish pale skin regained an olive-tone and glow. Cracked and irritated skin healed right before her eyes. Regina seemed to be transforming back into her old self.

“Regina, how are you alive?” Emma asked, still speaking in a low voice. She was afraid speaking any louder or making a sudden move might kill Regina all over again, even if she was a zombie. “Are you a zombie?” Of course, she had never seen a zombie with such perfect skin. Regina did not seem to hear the questions.

Regina managed to move her hand for the first time in too long and gently touched Emma’s cheek, gathering one tear on her fingertip. Pulling it back, she looked at it as if she had no idea what it was and then looked at Emma’s face. Emma wondered what she was doing.

“You’re crying for me?” Regina inquired, her voice low and somewhat rough, but sounded like silk compared to terrible whisper from moments ago.

“Yeah,” Emma answered the obvious. “Of course!” she sort of squeaked.

Regina smiled a bit. “You cried for me.” She should not sound so amazed that someone wept for her death, but this was what life had left Regina. It was sad really and Emma cried more, clutching Regina closely.

“You’re alive. Thank god you’re alive! I don’t even care if you’re a zombie. I’m just happy you’re alive!” Emma wept even harder than before, clutching Regina even closer.

“Because you cried for me.”

Emma’s brow wrinkled and sniffled. “What?” Bringing a hand up, she wiped one eye. She wanted to stop crying, but it was so damned hard because Regina was alive!

“Magic is emotion, Emma, and apparently you have tons of magic as well as many strong feelings for me. I think that you’ve cured me and you didn’t turn me into a zombie.”

Emma could only laugh, feeling damn near hysterical. Hugging Regina close, Emma impulsively leaned down and kissed Regina. What felt like an actual electric shock flowed through them. Emma had never felt anything like it while Regina jerked and gasped, causing Emma to pull away.

“What just happened?” Emma asked with worry in her voice. Her heart sped up.  _Shit, what if I did something that makes Regina die again?_  ”Should I not have done that?”

“No, Emma, I think…” Regina held up a hand and there was a small flame dancing on her fingertip. “Not only did you just cure me of the incurable, but you’ve jumped started my magic.”

Emma smirked and puffed out her chest. “I guess it’s all in a day’s work for being the savior.”

“You’re going to be insufferably, I tell,” Regina said and it lacked all of her usual bite. She smiled and then leaned in for her own kiss, which Emma gladly returned.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: the end.


	15. Live and let live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

15: Live and let live

Emma helped Regina to the couch just as the sun finished rising. Regina did not need the help, but Emma refused to believe she was totally fine just from a few magic tears. Regina knew it was because the sheriff was still uncomfortable with the idea of magic in general and probably always would be considering how magic had ravaged her body right before Emma’s eyes for nearly two months.

Of course, Regina did not mind the help. Feeling Emma pressed against her anchored her to the living world and made her feel safe. She held onto Emma for dear life and did not care if Emma noticed. She was alive; the press of Emma let her know she was alive.

“I’m gonna call Morgan,” Emma said once Regina was secure on the sofa. The sofa that had been her coffin for so long. It smelled like death, but she was alive. She was alive.

“No, not yet,” Regina begged, grabbing out for Emma. She needed Emma close, needed to feel Emma. The blonde looked at her. “Not yet.”

Emma seemed to understand and kneeled down beside Regina. Emma rested her hands on Regina’s knees and Regina reveled in the fact that her body could now support that weight and her knees did not crumble into dust. She remembered when Emma had stroked her knee, so soft, so cautious, like she had been made of sand. Even that had hurt, but she reveled in it. Now, she would do even more. She would never take a simple caress from the sheriff for granted.

Leaning in closer and reaching out, Regina ran a hand through Emma’s frayed blonde hair. How long had it been like this? Regina did not care. It felt wonderful, even if a little neglected. Emma was worse for wear as well, but that did not matter. Tears gathered in green eyes again and Regina was able to wipe them away.

“How you must care for me for your tears to break my curse,” Regina whispered in awe. The very thought terrified her now. At least when she was going to die, she did not have to deal with the idea of someone holding her so dear, but now she was alive. Now, she had a chance to ruin it.

“I want so many things with you,” Emma replied, her voice cracking and her eyes shined from her tears… and maybe hope and happiness. She looked like a mess, a darling, wonderful mess with red eyes and oily, unkempt hair dressed in wrinkled pajamas with dirt and grass stains from sitting outside.

“Even though I’m damaged beyond repair?”  _Even though, we both know I’m going to do something to make this all go away? I’ll do something else that makes me die alone._

“I don’t think you’re damaged beyond repair. We’re both messed up, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make something nice, beautiful, and safe. We can build. We can build.” Emma sniffled and rubbed her eyes. She seemed more like she was saying, “we  _have_  to build.”

Regina sniffled as well. “Everything I want always fades into dust right before my eyes.  _Everything_.” She always lost, always.

Emma took her hand and held it tightly. The pressure said more than anything else, but Emma decided to use her words as well. “I’m not going anywhere, Regina. Even if you are a zombie.”

Regina smiled a bit and moved a little closer to the sheriff. “Idiot.”

“Says the woman who thinks I’m going to go somewhere now that I’ve got what I want. I want to stay with you and I want you to stay with me. I meant everything I said and it doesn’t change just because you’re alive now,” Emma vowed.

Regina swallowed hard and had to exhale slowly to keep control of herself. It did not help much. Her stomach trembled, but she tried another breath, hoping to settle herself. Her lips quivered, like she was cold. Licking them, she hoped she could finally talk now. Emma wanted patiently for her, like she had since this whole thing started.

“You don’t want me, Miss Swan,” Regina managed without her voice shaking. Emma had only been so nice to her because she was dying and did not think she should die alone. Now, things would change. They always did.

“Whoa, don’t start with this ‘Miss Swan’ bullshit. I’ve seen you through the worst and I stayed. Hell, I held your fucking dead body, Regina. You’re not pushing me away.” Suddenly, Emma was up and holding Regina, surrounding her, engulfing her. It was like Emma was a part of her, inside of her, and Emma cradled her close. “You’re not pushing me away.” She nuzzled Regina. “You’re not.”

Regina did not know what to do and her arms automatically wrapped themselves around Emma, clinging to Emma like a tether in a bad storm. Out of nowhere, she found herself crying into Emma’s chest. She was not sure what the release was for, relief for being alive, relief that Emma would not leave since she was out of danger, relief that she would get to see Henry grow up, or any other number of things. But, she wept in Emma’s arms like she had never wept on anyone before. Emma held her as if she was precious and again seemed to envelop her, cradle her, and shield her.

“I’ve got you,” Emma promised and it was clear those words meant well beyond their current situation. She kissed the side of Regina’s head and it seemed to make everything inside Regina calm.

“I know,” Regina replied before she realized what she was saying, but maybe that was why it was true. Her brain had not had a chance to filter it, to change it, to try to protect her from all of the ills in every world by simply pushing everything away before it got too close.

Emma held her just a little tighter. “I’m here.”

“I stayed.”

“I know and now, I’ll stay.” Emma kissed the top of her head again and Regina was light. She could breathe easy and her heart settled into a steady rhythm.

“I want to take care of you now.” Regina wanted to show Emma everything Emma showed her. She wanted to be that partner Emma imagined in their little “what ifs.” She wanted to show Emma that she, too, was precious.

“I want to hold you like this forever,” Emma confessed.

“You can.” It felt magnificent and glorious to be held. This feeling alone was worth fighting for.  _I will not ruin this. I will do everything in my power to keep Emma close_.

“No, we’ve got to move at some point and Henry’ll be up soon. Besides, we have to call Morgan. She’s been waiting for you to… well, let’s just say we’ll be saving her a breakdown when she sees you’ve got your fire back.”

Regina nodded. She could only guess that Morgan waited for her death felt like how she felt when Henry was lying on that hospital bed, fading away. Of course, Regina had been the one to put him there, but Morgan was probably close to that. Regina never fully understood how much the older woman cared for her until now, so maybe she would be a little thankful for the curse. It showed her what she had to live for and it gave her Emma, returned Henry to her, and maybe even revived parts of her that she thought were dead.  _I can make something good from this near tragedy_.

Despite her words, Emma held onto Regina for a few more minutes and Regina did not object, leaving her arms around Emma. The blonde even peppered her with a few more small kisses, but only to the top or side of her head. Eventually, Emma tore herself away to go find her phone. Regina missed her as soon as they were separated.  _Okay, that’s not healthy_. She knew it was something that would probably get better with time, but she was conscious of it. She did not want to smother Emma or come across as too needy, as she was certain she was not.

Regina stood and just marveled at being able to use her legs for the first time in about two weeks. As she took a tentative step, feeling joy and pride surge through her for such a simple task, she wondered if this was how babies felt when they took their first steps.  _Should I be so delighted with walking?_  After having been carried everywhere, she supposed yes. Of course, she would miss being carried by Emma. Still, she walked on.

She walked right into Morgan’s waiting arms. Of course, she did not realize it until Morgan was holding her close and they were literally floating. Morgan clutched her like a lifeline.

“My sweet girl, alive and well,” Morgan sighed in relief, burying her head in Regina’s hair.

“Yes, alive and well thanks to Emma,” Regina replied, wrapping her arms around the other witch.

“I’m still going to kill the imp,” Morgan stated matter-of-factly. “I think I shall flay him. Feed his skin to some horses. Are the man eating mares in Storybrooke?”

Regina suspected Morgan was utterly serious in her musings, but she did not care. “What are we going to do now?” she asked. What were she and Morgan to each other now? How were they to act with one another?

Morgan pulled away and smiled. “You’ll always be a silly girl, you know that? We enjoy the fact that you are alive and that everything is now out in the open. I do not for one moment regret letting you know how I feel. After all, are you ready now?”

Regina took a breath and nodded before she realized it. “Yes, I am.” She wanted this family and that included Morgan.

“Good. Now, go take a shower and make yourself presentable before Henry comes down,” Morgan ordered.

Regina nodded and Morgan put her down. She rushed off to make herself presentable for the first time in what felt like ages. She climbed the stairs, feeling empowered just from being able to go up to her room on her own and into her bathroom. She could wash her hair. Hell, she had hair!

Once in the bathroom – her own bathroom, which it felt like a lifetime since she had been in it – Regina took a moment to look at herself. Everything about her appeared healthy and well. Her clothing smelled awful, but she would burn them the moment she was out of them. There did not seem to be an outward trace of the curse. Of course, on the inside, there was trauma, which she supposed was the story of her life.

“But, there are blessings in there, too,” Regina said, placing her hand to her heart, finally able to see the good side of things once more. The world actually had a shine again. Rumplestiltskin had probably done her the biggest favor in her life.  _Gods, I’m going to rub that in his little green face_. But, before that, she needed to scrub her face, trying to erase the memories of the festering sores that once covered her.

-8-8-8-8-

“So, you cured her?” Morgan inquired, circling Emma in a manner that was quite predatory. Despite their time together, Emma was not sure if she would ever feel entirely comfortable around the redhead.

“So she claims. She said my tears saved her,” Emma replied with a shrug, trying to seem nonchalant about it. Truthfully, she did not care what cured Regina as long as she was actually cured.

A blood-colored eyebrow arched. “Tears?”

“She… she… she died in my arms this morning.” Emma swallowed hard as she remembered the limp weight in her arms. It felt like holding a small sack of wet sand. She doubted she would ever forget. If they did have a life together now, Emma would have to die first because she could not go through that lost feeling a second time.

Morgan paused for a moment, her emerald eyes darting toward the stairs. Then, she continued on as if everything was normal. “And you wept for her?”

“Of course I wept for her!” Emma barked, glaring at the older woman. What the hell kind of monster did Morgan think she was? Who would not weep with the woman she loved dead in her arms?

Morgan smirked. “And you cured her of a curse that everyone else, even the infamous Dark One was so sure had no cure.”

Emma’s eyes narrowed. “And why is that?”

Morgan tilted her head slightly, curious. “Why is what?”

“Why is it that everyone said it had no cure? I mean, with all of this magic bullshit, I’d think everything had a cure. I mean, it’s fucking magic.” Emma could not understand how people with magic did not believe anything was possible, especially considering how they seemed to take everything on faith and destiny and other bullshit.  _How the hell do they live without thinking they need to fight for stuff? How to they jus accept shit at face value?_ Regina was a fighter and she was a fighter. They would scrap and claw and bite to change things in their favor, never just accepting it.

Morgan waved the comment off. “Because magic is emotion, my dear, and no one could ever believe someone had such emotion for the Evil Queen.”

Emma blinked in disbelief. “Not even you?” She thought if anybody took the time to know the real Regina, the one behind the mini-micro-manager, it would be impossible not love her. The woman inside was surprisingly kind, if not a little jaded and bitter, but funny and sweet, in a sarcastic way, who wanted to take care of those she held dear and just wanted to spend time with others. Yes, there was rage and venom, but those things soothed over and settled when Regina was treated like a human being with feelings.

Flowing red hair swayed as Morgan shook her head. “No, not even me. I didn’t realize how much I cared for her until she was dying, honestly. One has to lie to one’s self to protect one’s heart sometime.”

“Lie to yourself?” Emma asked.

Morgan shrugged, but a scowl tugged at her painted lips. “Losing her to that damned imp… it was painful. So painful, I had to tell myself anything to stop the pain. Admitting it works so much better and is a lot less painful.”

“Yeah,” Emma agreed with a chuckle.

“But, you built that affection for her by learning of her, by knowing her, all parts of her. She wasn’t there to fill some hole in your heart. Instead, you gave her your whole heart for no reason more than she affected you brilliantly and so, you can cure her. Besides, you’re also very magical yourself. I’m sure being the product of True Love and all helped,” Morgan said as if that made any sense. Maybe in their magical crazy world it did.

Emma did not care what worked and what made sense right now. The important thing was that Regina was alive. Her son’s mother was alive. Henry would not have to wake up and find her clasping some hollowed out corpse to her chest. He would get to see Regina alive and well. And then, maybe they could all just appreciate being together.

“What do we do now?” Emma asked.  _Will I be able to hold onto this? I can’t run, not now. She stayed, so I’m staying. I need her and I think she needs me_.

“Well, we enjoy a nice breakfast and then after Henry goes to school, we march to that damned imp’s shop and decorate using his intestines,” Morgan declared quite calmly, as if this was exactly what she planned to do. She even made a little hand movement, as if things were that simple.

It was tempting, but Emma was not sure if she could rip anyone’s intestines out. But, then again, this guy had purposely left Regina to rot inside of her body for over a month and die right front of them. Maybe she could make an exception for him. Whatever she decided, something told her Morgana Le Fay would not back down on her decision. Gold was in trouble.

She was taken from that thought as Henry marched down the stairs, rubbing his eye with one hand. She knew he woke up early to hang out with Regina, but this was the earliest he had ever gotten up. His eyes went immediately to the sofa and he gasped when he saw it was empty.

“Where’s Mom?” Henry shouted, anger mixed with sorrow as he charged over to Emma.

“Henry, calm down,” Emma implored, wrapping her arms around him.

“No! Where’s Mom?” he hollered in a panic, clearly thinking the worst. His eyes floated with tears. He pounded on Emma’s chest with tiny, but hard fists, trying to get away. “Where’s Mom? Where’s Mom?” he burst into loud sobs. Emma suspected she sounded something like him not even a half-hour ago.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina did not want to get out of the shower. The steaming hot water was like a heavenly dream and the only thing that was better was Emma’s embrace. She felt like she washed away festering decay that had clung to her very nerves. She had lathered so many times that she went through her entire bottle of body wash. Her shampoo had not faired much better.

Eventually, she knew she would have to get out. She wanted to get out, even though the shower was paradise. She wanted to return to Emma and then she wanted to make breakfast for Emma and Henry. She wanted to eat breakfast with Emma and Henry. She longed to be near them, to touch them, to hold them.

So, she washed up one final time, dried her hair with a towel, brushed her teeth just to be sure her breath did not smell like rotten ivory, and then slipped into some fresh clothes. Getting dressed, she rubbed her clothes against her body, delighting in the fact that she was finally in a new outfit. She marveled over the fact that the clothes did not tear her flesh or stick to irritated skin. The joy she felt just from being able to put on new clothes bordered on hysterical, but she reveled in it. Her old clothes were ashes in her bathroom trashcan, which she would get rid of later. Once she had on simple black slacks and a powder blue shirt, she checked herself out in her full body mirror. She was pleased with how she looked and then she made her way downstairs.

“Mom!” Henry screamed before she even saw him. He ran up to her and looked ready to embrace her, but held off.

Regina grabbed him into a hug, wanting him to see that he would not break her with a simple touch anymore. “Good morning, sweetheart.” She kissed his forehead.  _By the gods, that shouldn’t feel like the best thing ever, but it does and it is!_

“You’re okay?” he asked, pulling away to get a look at her. She looked at him as well, noting his tear-stained cheeks and flushed features. She looked ever at Emma, who looked like she had been crying again.

“I am. Emma cured me,” Regina replied, thinking he needed to know Emma was the one that saved her, even if it might make him turn more to Emma once again. Emma deserved every bit of credit and Regina was not sure if she would ever be able to repay the blonde.  _I’ll spend my life trying, though_.

“She did?” He turned to look at Emma and grinned proudly at her. “You’re an awesome savior.”

Emma smiled back and visibly preened. Regina smiled as well, even though she was certain there would be no living with Emma and her ego. Truthfully, she did not care. Emma could strut around the mansion for the rest of her life and Regina would only praise her for it.

“I want to make breakfast,” Regina stated in an almost giddy fashion and she rushed to the kitchen.

She could hear them all laughing, but she did not care. She wanted to cook, needed to cook. She wanted to feed her family. Henry trotted into the kitchen after her and just started pulling out items for French toast. Regina smiled at him to let him know he would get his silent request. Emma and Morgan stood in the doorway and watched.

Regina did what she could with the few items in the refrigerator. She made the French toast and then scrambled eggs. Usually, she would serve it with fresh fruit, but there were only apples and bananas in the house; Emma seemed to have a thing for bananas. So, Regina sliced up the bananas on the toast for Emma and Henry. She had apple slices with her own and Morgan had plain. Henry and Emma were given a healthy helping of powdered sugar on their French toast. They ate at the table, like an actual family, with conversation and everything.  _This is utterly sublime_.

“I missed your French toast, Mom,” Henry said with a bright smile. “I mean, Emma’s is good, too, but…” he trailed off, not sure how to explain it.

“Hey, she taught me everything I know,” Emma commented with a smile of her own as she motioned to Regina. “But, there’s nothing like the original.”

“Hopefully, I will be able to do this on a regular basis now, so no more pizza, burgers, and tacos,” Regina said.

Emma and Henry both groaned. “Aw, Mom!” they teased.

“Well, unless of course they’re homemade,” Regina conceded. She would enjoy adding some zest to each of those things and show them why it was better to make them than to buy them.

Emma scoffed. “I like the sound of that.” Henry nodded and Regina could see already they would be partners-in-crime, like when they were conducting their little operations. She would love every second of it, but, of course, would act thoroughly annoyed by it.

“Am I allowed to come on the regular basis or is it for immediate family?” Morgan inquired with a teasing smile.

“Please, like we could keep you away.” Emma rolled her eyes.

Morgan smirked. “Well, I could let you think you have kept me away.” Regina and Emma chuckled.

“We would be honored,” Regina assured Morgan. She wanted to see more of the older witch.

“Hey, can I stay home from school today?” Henry requested with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“No, you shouldn’t miss any school, Henry. I’ll be here,” Regina promised. “We’ll be here.” She wanted things to go on as normal to prove they were normal. He frowned a bit.

“Besides, we have something to do while you’re in school,” Morgan added.

“Maybe I could help,” Henry offered, the light back in his eyes. He wanted to do something, anything so badly.

“You can help by going to school,” Regina said. She wondered what it was they had to do while Henry was at school, though. Henry pouted, but he ended up doing as he was told. She thought that when he came in, they would have to do something together. They would all enjoy and appreciate it.

-8-8-8-8-

“So, where are we spending this day?” Regina inquired after Henry was gone for the day. She collected the dishes from the table, eager to do them if the pep in her step meant anything. Emma was just glad Regina was so visibly happy.

“Well, first, Emma is going to take a shower and then we’re all going to pay Rumplestiltskin a visit,” Morgan declared and a smile so wicked curled onto her face it would not have been surprising if devil horns sprouted from her head.

“Do I need a shower?” Emma sniffed at her armpit. She cringed. “Okay, wow, yeah, I do need a shower.”

“What do you expect? You were holding a corpse this morning,” Regina reminded her.

Emma shook her head, not wanting to think about it. Instead, she trotted off to take a shower while wondering what exactly was going to happen when they got to Gold’s store. Was Morgan really going to kill him? She had not seen much of Gold, but she had heard tales here and there. He was supposed to be really powerful, but then again, she had to assume that freaking Morgana Le Fay was powerful, too.

Really, she had to wonder what would happen this afternoon. What would happen tomorrow? What would happen next week? Regina was healthy again. Would she really want Emma around or was that some dying desperation? Hell, were Emma’s feelings even real or was that just some strange form of panic at the thought she would have to take care of a kid on her own? Would they be able to find out before one of them blew it?

“No, she stayed. I’m staying. We settled this. It’s settled,” she tried to assure herself as she peeled off her clothing. She would probably have to throw them out. She could not imagine wearing them again after Regina’s dead body had been tucked into them. She did not want souvenirs of Regina’s death.

Emma tried to shake the thoughts away as she stood under the hot shower spray. It felt good on her sore, weary body. She had not even realized she was so sore and exhausted until now. But, it felt like the hot water washed it all away before it even had a chance to settle.  _I’ll probably get it all back the second I can sit down and take this all in_. Until then, though, she would just go with things.

She enjoyed her shower, losing track of how many times she actually scrubbed her body. She washed her hair, wondering when the hell was the last time she had done that. She imagined it had been a few weeks.

She finished her shower and then got dressed in her usual jeans. She made her way back to the living room, finding Morgan and Regina sitting on what appeared to be a new sofa and talking quietly with each other.  _I guess Regina doesn’t want souvenirs of this time either_. She would have thought they were plotting on Gold, but they looked too bright and almost bubbly. Morgan even ran her hand through Regina’s hair. It was like they were just enjoying each other.

“You look much better, Emma,” Morgan commented with a small smile.

“I feel better,” Emma admitted. It was like being a whole new person, someone lighter and a little more optimistic about life. In the back of her mind, she remembered her worries, but she did not let them consume her.

“Good. Then you can brandish this awesome power you have as we gut Rumplestiltskin,” Morgan said with a grin. She even clapped.

Emma glanced at Regina, wanting to know if that was truly the plan. Regina wrinkled her nose a little. Emma was not sure what it meant, but it gave her a little confidence, not just in this little expedition, but also in this thing with Regina.

“I don’t think I can brandish anything,” Emma muttered. Regina moved next to her.

“Believe me, dear, she won’t need us to do a thing,” Regina replied. “But, we will have to talk about your power eventually.”

Emma groaned. “Couldn’t I just suppress it?” It was hardly a joke.

“No,” Regina simply answered.

“Let’s get moving, ladies,” Morgan proclaimed, clapping her hands together again.

-8-8-8-8-

The bell chiming to the store should have sounded like they were entering Hell, but it did not seem like it was tolling for them. It sounded more like a warning, an alarm for Gold that he had gathered some trouble. Maybe more trouble than he could handle if Morgan’s expression meant anything. A tight frown tore at Morgan’s face and what appeared to be fangs poked out of her mouth.

“Good morning,” Belle greeted them. She even smiled. It was like she had no idea what havoc Gold had reaped.

“Oh, I assure you, dear, it’s nothing short of a sweet day,” Regina remarked with a curl to her lip. She looked a little sinister, but sexy in a way.

“Regina,” Belle frowned and Emma could only wonder what sort of past the two had. “What do you want?” Belle demanded with a glare.

“We want that sniveling little mad imp and we want him right now,” Morgan growled, pointing to the floor, which seemed to shake a bit. The antiques clattered against each other.

“He’s not here,” Belle replied, narrowing her gaze on them, possibly to access the situation. Emma did not think she was doing a good job because the situation called for Belle to not further piss Morgan off.

Morgan stepped up and stared Belle down with near hatred blazing hot in her eyes. “Really? Are you sure that’s the lie you want to tell? Because if it is, then I’ll be forced to take my anger out on you, piece by tiny piece, and I promise you whatever injury Regina has done you will seem like cookies and milk.”

Belle dared to hold her head up high to Morgan’s threat, or possible promise.  _What the hell is wrong with Belle? Is she fucking nuts?_  Morgan chuckled darkly, sending a cold chill through the sheriff, and Emma wondered if she might have to stop the redhead from murdering the town librarian. Before she held Morgan back, the tap of a cane caught their attention.

“Belle, it sounds like we have some company,” Gold commented and then stepped out to the front of the shop. He smirked for a moment, eyes on Morgan, but that transformed into a frown as he noticed Regina. “Regina,” he hissed.

“Wondering how not only alive, but well?” Regina inquired, smirking. Her eyes almost sparkled, rubbing in her existence like salt on a wound. Emma wished she could join in, so she smirked, too, like that made her part of Regina’s taunt.

Gold could not quite school his features and his annoyance painted on his tight lips. His mouth twitched and his nostrils flared. “I suspect the Savior took pity on your wretched form in some manner.”

“More pity than I’ll take on yours,” Emma stated, standing shoulder to shoulder with Regina. She would definitely cross the line if he looked at Regina the wrong way. She would not give him another chance to almost destroy all of them ever again.

“Did you really think you could just kill Regina?” Morgan inquired in a hard tone, staring down the Dark One as if he was worthless. While Emma did not know much about “the other world,” she knew most people were fearful of Gold, but Morgan was only furious.

“Kill Regina?” Belle gasped with wide eyes. She looked at Gold in complete shock and confusion.

Gold turned his attention to Belle. “I didn’t kill Regina, as you can see.” He motioned to the living queen. “I also did not try to kill her, which I’m sure will be the next accusation.”

Emma thought it was odd he would not take credit for his actions. He had seemed so pleased when he thought Regina was dying. Then, she glanced at Belle and noticed how upset she looked. She understood immediately. Belle did not want him trying to kill Regina and she probably did not want that for a while. Gold had overstepped and did not want to displease Belle, the woman he supposedly loved. Emma tucked this information away, as it could prove useful later on.

“Oh, imp, must we play these games?” Morgan inquired, rolling her eyes and making a little flickering motion with her hand. “I don’t have time for them or your mad giggle. We all know what you did.”

“Regina, have you taken to hiding behind this old witch again?” Gold asked, focusing on Regina. He eyed her with a playful smirk, like she was the one he could intimidate.

Emma wanted to stand in front of Regina, but she knew better. Regina needed to protect herself from this monster. Besides, Regina could not and would not appreciate Emma trying to shield her from everything. They were not those types of people.

Regina glared at him like she was completely and totally herself. Emma felt proud. She was not sure if she would be able to stand up and smirk at the man who purposely poisoned her and watched her waste away. Of course, she also felt like she would punch the man in the face repeatedly if possible.

“I don’t have to hide behind her or some deal, Rumple,” Regina growled, holding up a fist. Flames suddenly danced over her knuckles.

Gold scowled, baring his teeth momentarily. “You have your magic back.” He said it like it was vilest thing on Earth.

“As dear Emma would say, here’s the thing, imp, you are going to leave Regina alone,” Morgan said. “Because if you don’t, I’m going to come back here and you are not going to like it. There will be no deals. There will be no discussions. There will not even be a warning. I will simply destroy you and go about my day,” she explained as calmly as possible.

“Now, see here,” Belle objected, trying to step forward, but Gold blocked her way. It was probably wise of him to do so.

Morgan snarled. “No! You see here, you defend this beast of a man to me once more and I will start his punishment by ending you as he tried to end Regina. What you and he do is your own business, but once you try to interject yourself into what I have to say to him, you become my problem along with him. I solve problems.”

Gold narrowed his gaze on her. “Big words for someone who probably couldn’t do a simple incantation now.”

“Do you want to try me, imp? Do you?” Morgan dared him. She held up a hand and cracked her knuckles.

Gold inclined his head, but he did not say anything. Regina stepped closer to him and he eyed her. His eyes even drifted to her hands, which were no longer on fire. Lastly, he looked at Emma. Suddenly, he smirked.

“You had something to do with this,” he accused Emma, pointing a bony finger at her. His eyes blazed and he bared his teeth again.

“So what if I did?” she said. He had already voiced a suspicion of it, but of course, he seemed a lot less happy about it right now.

“Just remember you owe me a favor, dearie,” he giggled. He put his arm around Belle’s waist and led her to the back of the shop.

The trio left and when they were outside, Morgan glared at Emma. “You owe that bastard a favor?” she demanded.

“It was before I knew he was bastard,” Emma defended herself, throwing her hands up. She never would have agreed to anything if she knew he was capable of slowly, torturously murdering someone.

Morgan sighed and shook her head. “You have much to learn. Teach her, Regina. Teach her.”

Regina smiled and put an arm around Emma, pulling her close. “I shall.”

“Look, it’s okay. I can wiggle out of it,” Emma said, rolling her eyes.

“How can you wiggle out of it? There’s only one person in history to be able to fool the imp,” Morgan commented. “And I wonder how that person was able to that. I assume you haven’t figure it out.”

Emma grinned. “Oh, you don’t know me very well.” She would use this incident against him, blackmailing him because she would tell Belle what he did. She pulled Regina close to her.”How about we go get some lunch and menace the town by showing them you’re alive?” Emma remarked, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

“Menacing the town? And you’re the sheriff?” Regina smiled. Emma chuckled. For some reason, this made her feel more comfortable than anything about the future so far.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: an epilogue.


	16. Epilogue: Another day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.

Epilogue: Another day

Emma groaned as she felt movement beside her. Refusing to open her eyes, she pulled Regina closer to her. Regina curled into her, pressing more amazingly naked skin against Emma, and she felt delicious kisses on her throat.  _This is possibly the greatest way to ever wake up_. She found it a bit funny that a month ago she had been worried about how things would turn out for them. Apparently, dying had changed Regina for the better and made her reprioritize her life.

For the past month, Regina had been a “new” woman, but not entirely. Emma suspected this was who Regina was underneath all of the power and pizzazz. Without needing to control the universe and accepting she had what she always wanted, Regina was a caring, almost kind and warm individual… in the house anyway. Outside, with the plebeians – as she insisted they were – she was still standoffish, maybe even a little skittish of, considering the last time she had seen most of them, they were part of a lynch mob out for her blood. Funny enough, she was still their mayor, though, despite the fact that the town had been trying their best to get a new leader.

Inside, though, Regina was… just awesome. It was the only way Emma could describe it. She was, for lack of a better word, happy. Maybe content. She liked doing chores for and with Emma and Henry. She was openly affectionate, more so with Henry than with Emma while Henry was in view to avoid scarring the poor kid.

Emma groaned as she felt another kiss right underneath her chin. “I like waking up this way.” She wrapped her arms around Regina’s petite form as a few more kisses covered her neck. Emma practically melted at the feel of Regina’s breasts pressed against her. She doubted she would ever grow tired of it.

“That makes two of us,” Regina replied, sitting up to look into Emma’s eyes. Emma had her eyes barely open, but enough to see Regina staring at her.

Emma loved it when Regina locked eyes with her. She could see her emotions and the love still there. It was not some madness induced by the wasting curse or something Emma had imagined in exhaustion. It was almost overwhelming, to know she was dear to someone, to know someone actually wanted to take care of her, to know someone actually wanted her. But, beyond being overwhelming it was… well, awesome.

“But, I wish we didn’t wake up so early,” Emma whined a bit, running her hand down Regina’s back. She liked having Regina pressed against her, feeling smooth skin. A few days ago, she came across a single bump on Regina’s side freaked out until Regina explained a bee had stung her while tending her garden and the wound was healing.

Regina kissed her chin once more and then smiled at her. “Well, you don’t have to wake up.”

“Tell that to your kisses,” Emma remarked, eyes closed once more. Her hands continued to slid against Regina, caressing her sides and her ass _. The perfect ass_ , as far as she was concerned.

Emma reveled in the feel of Regina.  _What would I have done without this? How was I supposed to go on?_  She knew not knowing how something felt made it easy to live without it, but she was sure she would have felt a void for the rest of her life if she missed out on kisses and cuddles with Regina.

The older woman laughed. “You’re the one that always pulls me back. I have to get up to make breakfast and you never let me just get up.”

“Because I can’t sleep when you’re not next to me. I think I might be addicted to you. Is there a Regina anonymous?” Emma joked. Of course, it was entirely true that she could not sleep without Regina next to her. She woke up in cold sweats and fading dreams of holding a withering queen in her arms. If Regina was not by her side when she woke up, she often feared Regina had actually died. On nights like that, she always sought Regina out, sometimes finding the mayor had simply rolled away from her in bed. Other times, she would find Regina downstairs, looking out into the backyard, staring at her tree. Emma held her at times like that, neither of them saying anything.

Regina gave her a soft smile. “No, Sheriff, there is not. Now, if you want breakfast before you go off to work, you’ll let me up.”

“I don’t want breakfast just yet.” Emma allowed her fingers to dance along Regina’s spine.

Regina chuckled again as Emma pulled her completely on top of her. “Are you sure you don’t want breakfast?”

“Well, a different type than what you were offering anyway,” Emma remarked with a grin. How could she not want something else with an almost nude Regina lying prone against her?

Regina wasted no time leaning in to kiss Emma on the lips. There was a subtle hum that vibrated through their skin whenever they kissed. Regina had explained it was their magic, drawn to each other like ends of a magnet. It was weak, an enjoyable tickle. It actually made for a pleasant sensation, enhancing kisses and more, but Emma doubted she would ever get used to it. She could however get used to everything else, no matter how crazy it was.

The month since Regina had revived had been anything but calm. The town had almost been destroyed and Regina helped her save it… or she helped Regina save it. It was hard to tell, but either way, people now had to look at Regina beyond the whole “Evil Queen” title. Of course, they usually did not. The town held a grudge like nobody’s business, Emma noted. She wondered if they learned from Regina how to do that or if this was also something cultural, like everyone in the old world held a grudge like it was a lifeline.

Gold had yet to call on his favor. Emma was not sure why, not that she cared. The moment he tried, she would threaten to tell Belle about what he did to Regina. She had learned Belle was just about the only person who could keep Gold in line. While he was not a standup citizen, he pretended to be when Belle was around and anything that might shake Belle’s image of him was something he did not want.

Emma felt like Morgan had something to do with Gold not asking for his favor, though. Gold was incredibly wary of the redheaded witch. Emma wondered how powerful Morgan was if she could make the dreaded Dark One pause for so long. But, she tried to mentally prepare for when the day would come. She had her way out, but she was not sure if she would not completely fly off the handle at him. Even when she saw him from a distance, she wanted to just beat him in the knees with a metal pipe.  _I wonder how the hell Morgan handles seeing him on the street_.

Regina avoided seeing him on the streets; she told Emma as much. It was not that she was frightened of him, but she was not sure how she would react. She did not want to do anything that might trouble Henry, who had faith in his mom again and believed she was capable of doing the right thing and being a hero, like when she saved the town.

Beyond that, both Emma and Regina had settled into a nice little domestic rhythm along with Henry. Inside the house, they were just a regular family. They did a lot of things together, especially reading books, cooking, and cleaning dishes. It was strange that these chores had actually become favorites for them to do as a family.

“If you keep this up, Emma, you’ll have to get up and help me make breakfast,” Regina teased as they both knew that was not much of a threat.

Emma grinned and sat up just enough to properly kiss Regina. Regina tasted so great. Emma doubted she would ever get enough. Regina seemed to be of like mind, kissing Emma back. They pulled away for air briefly, but Regina dived right back in.

Best of all was exploring these new affections they had for each other. While they had not repeated their declarations of love yet, they could see it in each other’s eyes. Emma and Regina were always close now, touching if possible. Sometimes, it was because of panic. Emma needed to feel Regina to be reminded she was still alive, needed to see her to know everything was fine. But, there was also just this desire to be near Regina. It was like being a teenager in love.

Then, of course, there was the kissing. Regina was awesome at kissing. From their first day together, they had spent time trying to control the urge to kiss, but it was all in vain. By the time they had lunch after threatening Gold, Emma itched to kiss Regina again. They had held each other the whole time, but as soon as they got out of Morgan’s company and were in the mansion, she  _had_  to kiss Regina and did. They had kissed until Henry came home.

When it had been time for bed that day, there were no questions where Emma would go. They shared Regina’s bed from that point on, both sure it was the only way they would get any sleep. There was also no talk of waiting. Being together seemed to reassure them that Regina was alive and well and they had this connection, a connection more powerful than anything either of them expected or experienced before.

Emma returned Regina’s kiss, tongue lapping at Regina’s bottom lip. Regina obliged to the silent request and opened her mouth for Emma. Emma moaned at the feel of Regina’s tongue against her own and her hands roamed Regina’s back. Feeling the curve of her spine and the swell of her ass made Emma feel lightheaded.

“You do know we don’t have time for this,” Regina said as she pulled away, earning a whine from Emma.

“I can be late,” Emma pointed out. The town could go on a crime spree for an hour for all she cared if it meant she got to stay in bed with Regina, especially if she got to feel all of Regina’s skin against her own.

“I know, but our son still needs his breakfast,” Regina countered.

Emma scoffed. “He’d love the excuse not to go in and hang out here with us for a while.”

Regina smiled; it was a sight that Emma would never get tired of. Reaching up, Emma caressed Regina’s cheek. It was warm and full of color. Emma had to kiss her again. It was desperate and burning, consuming both of them. Regina continued smiling when they pulled away for air.

“I’m still here, Emma. I’m still here,” Regina promised.

“Me, too,” Emma replied.

“I imagine after seeing me at my worse, you’ll stick around for the better parts for a while just for the balance,” Regina remarked.

Emma rubbed Regina’s cheek again, all the way down to her neck. Warm skin against her calloused fingertips felt like heaven. Watching Regina shudder from her touch and flush from the attention was something beyond that.

Emma smiled. “You know, when you’re not using your wit to call me an idiot in as complicated way as possible, you’re almost funny. But, I think I will stick around for a while just to make sure you’re cured.”

“How magnanimous of you.”

Emma chuckled. Despite all of the doubts she had, and continue to have, she was certain she would stick with Regina, and partly for the reasons they both just joked about. Eventually, they would get back to normal, they would be at each other’s throats, they would get on each other’s nerves, she might run, and Regina might push, but she was a firm believer that the malice between them, the poison was gone. Instead, there was this affection, desire, and genuine love between them, which might have always been there or might have sprung up in dire times. Either way, she was there and Regina was there. They were drawn to each other, so they would always come back together. They would stay.

“I really do have to get up to make breakfast. Henry will be getting up soon,” Regina reminded her.

Emma sighed. “Well, I guess you do have to feed our kid. But, I’m putting a bookmark on this and we’ll revisit it tonight. Actually, from this point.” She fondled Regina’s bare breast, tracing soft skin until the center stood at attention.

Regina chuckled and leaned down for one last kiss before Emma released her. Regina slid out of bed and put on pajama pants that were lying over a chair. Emma watched her and smiled throughout the little show as Regina pulled the pants on teasingly slow. After that, Regina eased on a t-shirt also over the chair, one of Emma’s t-shirts to be exact. Emma was not sure why Regina always put on one of her shirts, but she did. She also seemed to have a thing for Emma’s pajama pants now, but they were not essential like the shirts.

“You really love my clothes, huh?” Emma grinned.

Regina scoffed. “They’re just easier to put on in a rush,” she replied and then she exited the room.

Emma laughed. She liked playful Regina, who always said something she did not mean and allowed her eyes to betray her heart, at least to Emma. It was that emotional openness that also kept Emma around. She was happy and while she knew it was not an emotion that lasted for a long time, she started believing if she stuck around through the bad times, good times would happen again. After all, had they not proven just that when they beat the unbeatable curse?

-8-8-8-8-

Regina rubbed her hands along Emma’s t-shirt and pajamas pants as she made her way downstairs, soothed by the feel and the smell. She was actually quite careful when she laundered Emma’s clothing, never wanting the detergent smell to be able to overpower Emma’s natural scent. Of course, she only wore clothing that Emma had already worn, so the sweet aroma that was Emma was always there.

Ever since being cured, Regina found she needed to be near Emma or have something of Emma’s nearby. If not, she had full-blown panic attacks. She often satisfied this by wearing Emma’s clothing, especially her tank tops, which went underneath Regina’s own clothing. It kept anxiety from creeping inside of her and crippling her with irrational fear of dying again. There were other fears.

Despite Emma claiming that she would always be there, Regina worried that was not the case. Even though she had told Emma about the worst things she had ever done, cleansed her soul to Emma really, she wondered when those things would finally sink in and get Emma to leave. They had faced one of her sins already in Greg, also known as Owen. He had nearly destroyed the town because of her selfishness and evil.

Emma had known about it, known what Regina had done to this poor boy, but seeing the result of it was different. She had retreated for a day and Regina felt like she was allowed that and more. But, of course, while she was gone, Regina was a mess inside and out. Breathing had been hard and the only thing that kept her moving was caring for Henry. And then Emma came back. She came back and still had affection – real love – in her eyes.

She remembered that day so clearly, remembered Emma embracing her, kissing her, and whispering sweet words and begging for forgiveness for running. There was nothing to forgive. She came back. That was enough. It would always be enough.

Regina was terrified there might be a day when Emma did not come back. She did her best to ignore that because she was not going to ruin this. She promised herself she would not ruin this with her insecurities or worries. Emma saw her through the worst moment of her life and brought Henry back to her, so she would do her best to keep them both close. So, she had been on her best behavior, to the point of seeing Doctor Hopper.

In fact, they all saw Doctor Hopper, sometimes as much as five times a week. Even Morgan confessed to seeing the doctor on occasion. The psychological trauma of the wasting curse seemed like it would be with them for quite a long time, which made Regina hate Rumple all the more. She wanted to crush him, fertilize her garden with his flesh, and litter her garden with his bones. But, she held off, as Doctor Hopper assured her that was not the healthiest way of handling the situation. She conceded to him for the simple fact that history had proven time and time again that her decisions were hardly helpful to her problems. She hoped he helped her family in the same way he helped her.

They had not gotten to the point where any of them could talk about what happened with each other. Occasionally, they could mention something, but it was very rare. One of them having an answer to a comment was rarer still. Sometimes, they would look at each other, so shattered, so full of despair, and terror and all they could do was hug, which seemed to say more than words could for now. They were still a unit, still a family, and Gold had not ruined them. They were fighters and they would pull through.

“But, damn that imp to the fiery depths of Hell anyway,” she hissed, making a tight fist. Her nails bit into her palm, but she did not feel anything beyond her fury toward Rumple. For him to put that weight on Emma and Henry, Regina would never forgive him. Ever.

Shaking those thoughts away, she began on breakfast. Today would pancakes and omelets. She enjoyed this simple routine. Since getting this second chance at life, she learned to accept the good things in her life and she was happy with those things. She was learning to allow herself to be happy, even if the damned town wanted to make that as hard as possible. The joke was on them, though. She did not give a damn what they thought anymore.

Like Emma, she knew happiness was not a perpetual thing, but she had only just learned this and it started with Emma telling her. There was no “happily ever after” in this world maybe even in the old world. People and emotions changed. She would have to learn to deal with it, but as long as Emma and Henry were there, she would be able to. She felt calmer now in life for some reason. Dying was a life-changing experience.

“Hey, Mom,” Henry muttered, stumbling into the dining room. His clothing stuck to his body as he had a habit of not drying off completely after a shower. She supposed it had to do with the fact that he was not completely awake yet and would not be until he ate.

“Good morning,” she replied and went to hug him. He returned the embrace and kissed her cheek and she smiled.

“Oh, pancakes. Can I have four?” he requested with an elfish twinkle in his eye.

Regina nodded. He was growing and ate large portions now. She suspected he was also copying Emma, who did not eat very often, but when she did, she ate a lot. Regina hoped to take care of Emma and get her to eat regularly, amongst other things.

“Go make sure Emma’s up,” Regina told their son.

Henry nodded and trotted off. Regina made their breakfasts plates while Henry fetched Emma. There were pancakes, omelets, diced fruit, and orange juice; well, apple juice for her. By the time she had everything on the table, she found some other things were possibly genetic. Emma came downstairs with her clothing stuck to her, as she seemed to have a problem drying herself completely after showers like their son. She also was not fully awake until she ate.

“Damn, this looks good,” Emma declared as she slid into her seat, knowing it was hers from the six pancakes stacked in front of it.

“Emma,” Regina scolded her for her language.

Emma rolled her eyes. “Henry, make sure you don’t use words like that,” she said, only to appease Regina. They both knew what Henry spoke like when it was just him and Emma, though.

Henry, not wanting to lie, just waved it off. “I’m so hungry,” he declared as he cut into his stack of four pancakes.

Regina did not understand how he could be hungry when he just woke up and he had a full dinner last night. But, she was pleased he ate and he smiled while doing so. Emma smiled at both of them and Regina felt at ease.

“No Morgan?” Emma asked, nodding toward the empty chair.

Regina shook her head. “I suppose not. She’ll probably be by for dinner.” She had made extra food just in case Morgan popped up, though.

“Cool,” Henry chimed in. He had taken a liking to Morgan, which Regina was happy about. The feeling was definitely mutual, Morgan practically beaming whenever she was in Henry’s company.

Morgan came by everyday. She had abandoned her Storybrooke persona altogether. She had few friends and never really explained to Regina what she did with her time now that she was Morgana Le fay again. Regina did not pry, enjoying when Morgan came by regardless. They gardened together, practiced magic together, tried to tutor Emma in magic, and sat around sipping tea and talking together. It was pleasant and Regina hoped it would grow.

“What are you doing in school today, kid?” Emma asked before stuffing her mouth with as many pieces of cut pancake she could manage. Syrup dripped down her lip and she smirked at Regina before licking it off. Regina rolled her eyes.

“Yes, did you finish your project?” Regina inquired, cutting her own short stack. This was Regina’s favorite part of everyday. They had conversations over breakfast and dinner and Henry spoke openly. He was not upset with her and he spoke to her just as he spoke to Emma.

Henry nodded. “I finished everything last night. I’m gonna tell the teacher you helped, too, after she tells me I got an A,” he stated confidently with his head high and a wide grin.

“That’s unnecessary,” Regina replied.

“Nope, it’s really necessary. It’s not fair that she thinks she can just say bad stuff about you and then talk about how great I am because I’m Snow White’s grandson,” he stated and rolled his eyes.

Regina knew not to argue. Henry was at war with his teacher, who had expressed serious problems with Regina being alive. Henry was polite to her, but always made sure she understood things she praised him for were there because of Regina. As much as he loved his grandmother and grandfather, he would let anyone know he was the way he was because of his mothers.

Of course, this made Regina concede that some of him was because of Emma. She could deal with it because some of her was made possible because of Emma. It was also tolerable because Emma would say lots of who she was now was made possible because of Henry and Regina.

“Speaking of Grams and Gramps, are you gonna go see them today, Emma?” he asked curiously.

Emma shrugged. “I dunno.”

“Gramps wants to go ride horses. Come on, it’ll be fun. Mom’ll come to,” Henry declared. He always tried to get Emma to interact with her parents. Regina was sure he did it more for his grandparents than anything else, but he did his best to keep his family together.

“I will?” Regina asked and he grinned at her.

“You will,” Henry vowed, his dimples showing. Of course she would when he looked at her like that.

In truth, Regina was doing her best to mend things with Snow White and Charming. They were Emma’s parents and Emma was trying to build something them, as was Henry. Regina did not want to stand in the way of that. So, she had met with Snow and Charming only days after being cured of the wasting curse and spoke  _with_  them, not at them. It took much explaining and more conversations, as well as revelations about her and Emma’s feelings, but they seemed to be on the right track. Hell, she hated to think she might actually like them one day.

Emma sighed. “Fine, I’ll come. But, no trying to get me on a horse. In fact, anybody’s horse comes within two feet of me, I’m shooting it. Twice.”

Mother and son laughed. Horses were not fond of Emma and the feeling was mutual. This made things a little hard for Emma as she found out Regina loved horses and Henry desperately wanted to know how to ride. But, Emma enjoyed being around them, so she would bear with it. Much like Regina would bear being around the shepherd for Henry.

Emma was still on the fence about her parents. She accepted they were her parents, but she treated them more like people she knew. Regina was not sure if Emma would ever get the relationship beyond that. As long as Emma was fine with that, Regina would not pressure her into anything else.

Honestly, they were still feeling their way around each other. While Regina was sure they would make it, she knew there would be tough times ahead. She was there to stay because Emma was inside of her. Smiling over at Emma, she suspected Emma had pieces of Regina inside of her. One day, they would probably even be able to say that to each other, but for now, this was more than enough.

The End.

Thanks for taking this ride with me. This Lunatic is going back to her padded cell now, but hopefully I’ll be back with another tale. Thanks for all of the support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna see more of my fanfics, they're all at FFN under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fanfiction.net/~starvinglunatic). If you wanna see some original stories, you can look at FP under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fictionpress.com/u/576301/).


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